JEALOUSY;

well i have to say that jealousy is a feeling that is common in people..i have seen in my

profession alot of people that have that feeling..it can destroy, it can hurt, it can cause

pain, and it can kill..its a feeling and action that has been in the world for along time..

in my case i have seen it and felt it..my ex boyfriend in had been with for 5 years

destroyed me while i was fighting cancer..i was losing weight and dealing with my delima as he turned away to another..he couldnt deal with me being sick..it was hurting him and didnt want it in his life..

 

i was very active and easy going, i had alot to offer, we were talking about marriage at the time i became ill..but that all changed when i found out about my illness..i had a operation and they remove the illness out, but didnt get all of it, because it came back in 4 months..i needed another operation..i was destroyed and scared..

but he turned to another woman instead of me...he looked at me and seen the illness only, it destroyed me so bad i cryed all night long..i seen it in his eyes but hoped he would be strong and deal with it..but it went another direction..another woman..

i was jealous of her, she had the only thing that was secure in my life..she took my

sounding board and rock that i had, (it was only in my mind tho)..but i felt betrayed and hurt and tryed to understand what he is feeling..but the other woman wasnt ill..and she had everything to offer i guess.

 

i felt pain and lack of love thathe should of been giving me..i was so jealous that i

dropped to 103 pds..it was killing me..for some one that is 5'10 its alot of weight to

loose..but i took it and swallowed the pain and went thru my illness alone, besides my daughters was there for me..you see jealousy can bring so much pain, that a person can really get more sicker..it is a feeling that i dont ever want to deal with again..i was never a jealous type, i was care free and happy, but things in life can bring so much pain when you dont expect it, and cause a wave of anger and sorrow..

to this day i look back and think , the next time i fall for a man he has to be strong and know that life can bring so many different things to a person, and you have to deal with it together...its a learning experience for me..and i surived..and cancer free!!!

faith....

 

 

you my have permission to publish this letter...*