Funny Headlines

 

1. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
2. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
3. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
4. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
5. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

6. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
7. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
8. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
9. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
10. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
11. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
12. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
13. Eye Drops Off Shelf
14. Teachers Strike Idle Kids
15. Clinton Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
16. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
17. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
18. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
19. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
20. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
21. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
22. Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
23. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
24. War Dims Hope for Peace
25. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
26. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
27. Deer Kill 17,000
28. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
29. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
30. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
31. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
32. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
33. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
34. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
35. Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
36. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
37. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
38. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
39. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors