There are two issues here: What should you do;  and the meanness of a church member!  As far as my advice to you,  I would go to a reputed in spiritual direction Catholic Bishop and asked for spiritual help.  Another church's experience can't hurt in instances as these! As far as the first issue,  if you feel that this person deserves another chance,  stick with him.  If you think that he is beyond the necessary level of compatibility for a successful marriage, dump him! I personally have little patience with those who buzz around.  There are millions of better men out there! What matters is the heart!  As far as the second issue, I can empathize with how betrayed you feel!  Two years ago,   a priest broke my rib in Rome,  and I am still hurting,  not in body,  but in spirit.  The churches are filled with sinners and  the leaders are no exception!  But it is extremely aggravated when a pastor, like Jimmy Swaggard (remember?),  fornicates in secret but preaches purity in church!  This always makes my blood boil!  Why?  Not because I pretend to be  better than anybody else.  But because this very fornicators are the first to deny that you have a vocation!  In other words,  not only they fornicate,  but they fornicate with the Evil itself!  This is why I really feel sorry for you and empathize with you!

As I read of your experience with one who has outwardly projected themself to be one thing to you, when quite the opposite is true, I could not help but recall how our Lord must have felt when someone who shared many intimate moments with Him, also deliberately elected to violate that intimate relationship through betrayal for personal gain.  I speak specifically of Judas Iscariot.  Indeed, I can only imagine the hurt which He felt by such betrayal, nevertheless, in all of His actions subsequent to this betrayal is it found written that our Lord spoke evil of Judas, or encouraged others to do so. 

 

Likewise, I can only imagine the emotional pains inflicted upon you by another in whom you had invested a significant degree of love and trust.  And, I would be quick to alert you to the fact that there will be others in whom you will have invested similar trust, that will also fail to arise to the level of expectation and performance you might expect (whether it be a personal, business, or some other type of realtionship).  In this, as in other similar incidents which may arise, I can only encourage you to follow the example set forth through our Lord's response.  Despise the sin, nevertheless, maintain an attitude of love for the sinner!

 

Learn from this experience, and with the ever-abiding help of He who "sticketh closer than a brother," you will find comfort.  Remember - God loves you, yea, even far above and beyond our limited ability to comprehend, He loves you!  He will heal and soothe your broken heart.  May He bestow the fulness of His wondrous love upon you as you undergo this time of the testing of your faith in Him, is my prayer for you this day.  

What dose drinking have to do with  fornicating? Jesus called a wine-O his frist works was turning water into wine. was He then a  fornicating Godly being? I think not! What one teaches you and what is true as is the Bible are at times two deffernt things. Yet it is true that each church is able to set its own morows. and if your church wishes that you dont drink then dont. but that dose not mean some one other is  fornicating. to got right down to it  fornicating is a unnaturl sex act.  and has nothing to do with drinking.

Praise the Lord brother. I greet you in the precious name of our Lord and Saviour.

I appreciate your kind words and thank you for taking the time out to reverence me post. I really feel you spoke with the Spirit of the living God. I feel that your words were very helpful and comforting. I dont know if the other members could really understand the feelings that I have had since this happened. This is not to say that I dont appreciate their time and kind words. I thank you for your words of wisdom. The part that hurts the most is that it was somebody in the Church. If it were in the world, I could have easily dealt with that. Those actions are expected for people in the world. I feel that I will make it with the Lord's help. I thank the Lord that he was able to use you there this post and encourage me. Your reference about  Judas Iscariot are the most signnificant I've read thus far. My Lord was decieved by one He blessed with the gospel, and was betrayed. Jesus was born to die so that we may have life. I too must take up my cross and not allow this situation to burden me down as it has been doing. Thank you all. God Bless you!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Opraise, LET HIM GO.  I know it's hard, but, unless he get's right, YOU will be the one suffering the consequences if you stay with him.  I have been there.  I dated one guy, but not for very long, because I felt God yelling,"NO!!!!"  So I stopped seeing him.  This was supposed to be a brother in church.  Not too long after I stopped seeing him, he quit coming to church.  A year or so later I learned he had a sex change.  I married a man at age 29(older than the hills compared to the age so many of the young ladies get married at), and have been married 5 years now, and he KNOWS what gender he is.  So just hang in there, God does have someone for you.

My husband and I know one "couple" where the guy is "backslidden" and "witnessing" to his girlfriend.  I say backslidden in quotes because, from what others that knew him told me, they always believed he was a hypocrite even when he was "close" to God.  And it wasn't just one person that told me that, either.  Well, he shoves scripture down her throat and pretends to be all spiritual.  He knows his Bible better than most of us do.  He asked if I would teach her a Bible study.  I did.  My husband and I told both of them that none of this would do any good if they continue like they are.  She is ignorant, so I'm very understanding with her.  It's him that just angers me.  His preaching at her and everything, even though they are shacked up, at least somewhat.  So it's very possible for a backslider in such bad condition to preach.  But it's very hypocritical preaching, as if putting their "partner" down.  I see it as a form of abuse, trying to elevate themselves above their "partners".  Many of these backsliders are Holier than Thou and are verbally and sometimes physically abusive.  And they think they are God's gift to women.  Many a backslider has "witnessed" to their partner, and the partner has gotten saved.  The backslider then thinks he is something special because even though he knew he's wasn't or isn't living right, "HE WAS ABLE TO GET THEM BAPTIZED".  It's very much an ego trip for the backslider and very much a control thing.  Sometimes that girlfriend then dumps the backslider because she is finally able to see him for what he is. 

AMEN.