I think your brother is a great guy and he must love you very much.
Joel and Richard have given you so many great reading suggestions with re to weight gain and fear. I would just like to add Weight Gain Concerns After Smoking Cessation
because I think your fears of weight gain are also a form of junkie thinking at its best or worst, depending on your perspective.
You used your weight gain as a (not so new at all) excuse to start smoking again, but you know yourself that all you did is giving in to junkie thoughts and thus relapsing. Don't let it stop you now from taking control over you life again.
I would also recommend that you have a look at the Weight gain
- section on WhyQuit.Com
, where you will find a lot of info and food for thought.
You really don't need to be scared of quitting, you need to be scared of what continuing to smoke might / will do to you.
If you haven't yet stopped smoking, just do yourself a big favour and have a really good, close look at all the information available at whyquit, in Joel's library and on the Freedom boards.
You say you will continue in your fight and that it is just a matter of time. You are right there. Don't wait until the decision is made for you and you die of a smoking related illness. What is a bit of weight gain compared to that? There are also many quitters who have gained weight in the first couple of months or so and then lost it again - and there are even people who can say "We actually lost weight!"
Go on, give yourself and those close to you the best gift anyone could think of: stop using nicotine and stop doing it for good. You never know if you will find the energy, courage and the chance to do it again. You might even be surprised at how easy it will be this time to stay quit as Every quit is different
Wishing you a mega-
moment of "Yes, if they can, I can do it, too!" - and should you ever have any questions or concerns, all you have to do is post another message to this board or even join Freedom from Tobacco
once you are nicotine free. It might give you another incentive to stay quit.
378 days and a bit