Congratulations Mark to both you and your wife. You've both come far and invested much. It's good to enjoy and share in your healing but be extremely careful not to lean upon each other as a primary source of
motion. A crutch is any person, activity or thing that if suddenly removed would significantly increase the odds of relapse.
If we refrain from physically, subconsciously or consciously leaning upon persons, activities or things then their impact upon our balance should be minimal to none if suddenly removed.
If smoking's adult kill rate is 50% then what are the odds that chemical dependency upon smoking nicotine won't be the cause of destroying a marriage in which both are dependent and fail to arrest their dependency? Although it is impossible for either of you to relapse so long as no nicotine enters your bloodstream, I hope you'll both commit to going the distance regardless of the outcome for the other.
There is nothing like having a live-in reminder of how amazingly comfortable these bodies and minds can again become if we'll only remain patient in fully adopting "one day at a time" as our means of measuring full and complete victory.
As for health care providers understanding much more about nicotine dependency recovery than the prescribing directions for each nicotine replacement delivery device and bupropion it's sadly far too rare. But it really isn't their fault. I have a daughter who is a third year medical student. Her medical school has yet to spend any time studying our nation's leading cause of preventable death.
It would be interesting to poll physicians to see how many know nicotine's half-life in human blood-serum (about 2 hours). To put nicotine back into a nicotine-free body in which peak physical withdrawal has already occurred is insane. But if you have not been taught and cannot recognize dependency recovery insanity it's a bit difficult to realize the need to cease fostering it.
Be proud of yourselves, Mark. Remember, there is absolutely no legitimate justification for relapse including the eventual inevitable death of those we love most. Still just one guiding principle for all of us, no nicotine just one day a time, Never Take Another Puff! With you both in spirit.
Breathe deep, hug hard, live long!
John - Free & healing for six years, six months and 23 days while avoiding the use of 143,928 nicotine delivery devices that would have cost a minimum of $19,887.06 if they hadn't yet made me another smoking death statistic.