You make one very poignant remark in your letter to Joel, "I kind of have the feeling inside that I am only pretending to be a non smoker, that it isn't the real me." Perhaps the reason that you feel that way is because you are pretending to quit, you haven't made up your mind yet that this is what you want. If that is true, then try this exersise for awhile - Pretend to make a list of all the reasons why you quit and post it someplace where you can see it everyday. Every morning when you arise, pretend to say to yourself, "Today I will not smoke or use nicotine by any delivery method." Have you noticed any positive physical changes since you quit? Pretend to make note of them. Can you breathe better? Are you sleeping better? Are you making better use of your time? Pretend that you feel a sense of accomplishment for having overcome your addiction and taking control back from nicotine which controlled you for 27 years. At night, when you lie yourself down to sleep, pretend that you are proud of yourself for living another 24 hours without sucking burning tobacco through a paper tube, destroying lung tissue, robbing yourself of oxygen, and filling your body with in excess of 4000 toxins contained in its smoke to satisfy your need for nicotine, an extremely addictive drug.
You may be waiting for something to happen, some feeling to come over you, some milestone to pass that will mark your quit in some way that will say, "Yes, now I have quit, and this is proof." Walk over to the nearest mirror and look at yourself and congratulate yourself for what you have done. You have already quit smoking - This is not practice for when you really quit. You have been nicotine free for 4 weeks. If someone else were to come to you and say, "You haven't really quit - You're just pretending." I am sure that your attitude would be different.
You made a decision, 4 weeks ago that you did not want nicotine any longer. It was a good decision. If you are looking for proof of that, www.whyquit.com is your resource. If you are having thoughts about a cigarette from time to time, that is normal. If you remain committed to your decision to live nicotine free, it will continue to get better and easier. By better I mean that the thoughts will become fewer and fewer. By easier, I mean that when you do have a thought, it will be fleeting. Don't dwell on those thoughts or romantisize about smoking - Remember that not very long ago, you were thinking constantly about how much you wanted to quit.
In the beginning, you need to reinforce your reasons for not smoking daily. You need to fill your mind with information that invigorates you and solidifies your determination. So in answer you question, "Will it pass?" If you remain nicotine free, yes it will. Learn all that you can about your addiction, knowledge is your most powerful ally
Joseph
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