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| | | Message 1 of 5 in Discussion |
| | From: Joel (Original Message) | Sent: 5/18/2006 11:58 AM |
Hi there, I have just joined today having been nicotine free since for 12 days.
For the most part everything is going well but I have one big problem.
My very best friend who was my smoking buddy is trying to sabotage me by pushing me into unexpected situations that I'll find tough. I've told her I can only catch up for breakfasts etc for a couple of weeks (rather than boozing at the pub) but she'll agree to lunch, push it back a few hours and then insist on us having a wine then two then three...she knows that if there's a time I'll break down it's then, as the alcohol and being with her is such a trigger.
The next thing is that her father died just when I quit and I feel that I'm letting her down because I can't sit about smoking with her and I know she feels like I've left "the club" (a feeling you get from your smoking friends), and I think sometimes that supporting her even if it means smoking is far more important in the short term and that I should worry about quitting later and I know she feels this way. It feels selfish to avoid those situations with her at this time but I can't give up my quit.
I've explained to her how important this is to me and she gets abit distant and then tries to introduce a situation to tempt me. Tonight I have to go to another friends leaving drinks and all of my girlfriends there smoke, we would normally have a huge night but my plan is to have a couple wines, eat and leave. It's horrible because I make them uncomfortable now and the better I do the worse they feel. I don't blame them as I would have been the same a few weeks ago myself. The problem is that I feel as though I'm rejecting my friends (and I am to a certain extent) and they know it, because they smoke and they're pushing me. I know there's no real advice - you can say "they can't be real friends if they want you to smoke.. blah blah blah but they are good friends, they're also addicts and thinking with an addicts mind. That's not a reason for me to desert them. How have other people coped with this?
I just needed to get this off my chest to someone/anyone who might understand!
Thanks so much for this site which I've passed on to as many people as will listen. The education available here makes quitting inevitable.
I can't post on the site from work but will make my first post tonight when I get home.
Thanks,
Lisa.
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