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 | | From:  flesea07 (Original Message) | Sent: 12/8/2008 9:14 PM |
there was some tramatic events that happened in my life...they just snow-balled I don't know why me, as I used to ask myself....but what happened , happened I've been in therapy my whole life...but still managed to eventually live the american dream, until..well into '01 something horrible happened again...and as a result...I had a complete mental breakdown, including some amnesia weird tho, I could remember everything that happened but couldn't remember how to cook. drive,style my hair weird things like thatI'm still coming across things that I used to could do , including how to use a computer my brother Jo retaught me not too long ago..but anyhow..a whole new set of mental problems was too much on me.....after years of in and out the mental home(2 months the first time) I started manifesting physical problems caused by anxiety and PTSD...RSDSin my legs,reynauld's syndrome, meneire's syndrome,vision problems in my good eye (I';m blind in the other) muscular atrophy, deafness,(still have a little hearing in left ear with hearing aid)..drop attacks, convulsions, migraines,asthma (caused from the reflux , caused from the Muscular atrophy in my stomach) and lastly (so-far) seizures...all of these are being caused by anxiety...simple anxiety that they can't get under controll I'm on a lot of medications for it and it helps here at the house, but beyond these walls, away from willie and dette...I can't survive.....they said I'm at risk of a heart attack each time I have an attack.....when I was growing up I had anxiety attacks and panic attacks...they're nothing compared to these....I refuse to let the Dr's zombie me out and Dette makes sure of it..it's important to try to keep my mind strong as I can and to fight what I can...I'm like a kid now that has to be babysat all the time...that's why I have to live with willie and dette...it's really embarrassing..if we go somewheres public, I have to stay right with them, can't even go to the bathroom by myself,,,,believe me , I tried, it was horrible...this is why Robin and Nippy are such a God-send for me but today was a good day...I walked 1/2 way around the block (2 houses down)to the pine tree and picked some pine cones and stopped at Sandra's store and talked to her...(she has a cockatiel named feathers)...it was a good day!! I don't know if it's okay for me to tell ya'll what's wrong with me...or if ya'll even want to know.....basically it's the mother of all anxiety disorders...if it's not okay for me to post this I won't be offended if ya'll delete it...I've not meant to be so secretive ...it's just an embarrassing, needy, humiliating condition and it makes it hard to share that about yourself flesea |
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 | | From:  Indy75 | Sent: 12/8/2008 9:20 PM |
That is such good news. You getting out. My first little adventures out my door were mind boggling. No one could understand what the big deal was. It has been a yr for me and I have some difficulty but the dear Lord gets me through them. You are taking small little steps but they are big steps to your recovery. I am so happy for you! Indy |
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Thank you for sharing with us flesea! I'm so glad you had a good day when you could get out a bit. I can relate to you, as anxiety disorders run on both sides of my family. I have experienced PTSD, so I know how hard that can be. I was in counseling for 12 years and also worked in the mental health field for 12 years. Being able to talk about the things that bother us is a good way to make them seem less formidable. Taking one day at a time is a good way to go. Kathy |
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Flesea, I'm glad you're here. This is the place to come for encouragement and caring, as well as help with your birds. You sure have been thru the mill. I have plain ole panic attacks, but yours are so much worse, I feel bad for worrying about mine. You are lucky that you have family to care for you. That sure helps. And it sounds like they really care. And I'm glad that you have Robin and Nippy. Birds are so wonderful. And it sounds like today WAS a good day. We have to remember to take one day at a time. Things will get better I'm sure. Around here, all you have to do is ask for prayers and caring thoughts, and you'll get them Thanks for sharing. Everyone has troubles, and I think talking about them helps. You take care, and post all you want. Barb |
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thanks ya'll....I was so afraid of posting that, you just wouldn't believe and it 's great that ya'll are so understanding, it's comforting and truly means alot to me. hey guess what!!!!!Nippy ate some coconut and raisins today not from my hand..but still, she ate them...what a day topper. flesea/lesa |
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dang it - and you let me act like a cry baby cause my jaw, teeth, neck and head hurts and the rice crispy guys moved into my ears - next time just tell me to get a reality check and shut up....
Glad you had a great day. Hope tomorrow is even better. Good thing you have Dette
linda
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Lese and Linda, I know I am personally happy you honor us with the trust necessary to share these times with us. I feel it a priviledge every time someone relates a need we can carry to God in prayer. The prayer chain here is so huge. God bless you both with the grace to endure and the possibility of healing. Lojouner aka Lo |
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Lesa, Thanks for sharing your problems.....I've found by sharing problems the burden of them becomes lighter. We are indeed, happy to have you here with us as we all learn from each other. Some teach us about about birds, some teach us about patience, some teach us about life, some teach us about computers, and some teach us to smile and belly laugh....everyone seems to teach us something that we need and can use. Also we learn that our problems aren't the worst and that they can be handled. di |
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OMG...I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for anyone to think I thought my problems were the worst on the contrary...I'm very fortunate in many ways, mostly in that I know no matter how bad things get in this world, my Lord will make sure it's never more than I can handle...maybe in a different way of living, but handling just the same.....and I'm thankful...I'm thankful not just for being able to collect pine cones but for wanting toenjoy that pleasure as simple as it is...you know it's funny., I once had an Australian Shephard(lost in divorce) I wore a t-shirt that read...'my dog can beat-up your dog'...it's funny at the time....this all just brought that to mind, the t-shirt's not so funny any more...but boy! Randy was a big Dog (indoor dog) I'm sorry. lesa |
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flesa - you are lucky you got out and picked up pine cones - I have a box in the living room that I haven't opened yet that my mom had to mail me some from florida - (You can imagine the questions - Why do you want pine cones? Why don't you have any there? Are these for the birds?) Oh well, we both got pine cones... want to swap? Linda |
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hi Linda...yeah this being Georgia you'ld think I would have pinecones in the back yard but alas not this yard......I like to decorate with pinecones....we're not doing Christmas this year( donated the tree the the children's hospital) because of the boys (Denny and Kenny) being over there fighting the war....but I need to make decorations just the same because it's something I always did with Chase and Gabby (the children my husband and I were adopting, they lived with us for 8 yrs) any how , the pine cones are for them, to keep them in my Christmas thoughts in a high-spirited way....it's silly the things we hold on to, I use the pine cones, we always hunted them together...hahaha sometimes even weeks after Christmas because it was so much fun...we scented some ( pine scent from dollar store), placed a festive cloth in the basket then put in the cones on top of lights...the warmth from the lights kept the scent wafting, other we used to make center pieces, ornaments,gift decor,...and some just for a pine-cone fight, (ouch!) but for us,...pine-cones...some things you should just never let go of flesea |
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 | | From:  ¨SHERRÝ | Sent: 12/9/2008 3:38 AM |
flesea, you are an important member of our group and we love each and everyone of the members and want to help and support them in anything, good or bad, happy or sad, we are here for them. I hope you will always feel like a family member in the group and enjoy with us the joys and trials of real life. Huggles, Sherry:) |
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Something I did when my kids were growing was to get or make (they helped) a new ornament for each every year. By the time they were ready to fly on their own, their first tree would be filled with good memories of growing up. The little things are what make us what and who we are, not just our birds. It's the life experiences we grow from and beyond that help us to reach out to each other... and that's what is important. ((hugs)) |
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Fleasea, you are such a dear and a courageous one at that. I think most of us have something about us that we struggle with sometimes daily. I joined this group....oh...I think it was in 2000..not sure but Abby and Di could probably remind me. I have had a ton of my own "issues"...Lord knows it and many people here do too....but I tell you what, no matter what you go through....how bad it is.....how long a time you go through something....everyone one here is here till the end....no one will give up on you. You'll get all kinds of views and some advice and everything is given with the best intentions. You take your steps as you need to and what is comfortable for you and we'll be here every step of the way with you and for you. Aren't birds a wonder? They are life savers, challengers and too will not give up. I love to put cinnamon scent on pine cones! Now I pop one or two in the fire place and boy oh boy....sparkles and scent all in one! I hope you have a stressfree Christmas with lots of fun, Dale |
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