1. Weigh yourself with clothes on, after dinner... as well

as in the morning, without clothes, before breakfast,

because it's nice to see how much weight you've lost over-

night.

 

2. Never weigh yourself with wet hair.

 

3. When weighing, remove everything, including glasses. In

this case, blurred vision is an asset. Don't forget the

earrings, these things can weigh at least a pound.

 

4. Use cheap scales only, never the medical kind, because

they are always five pounds off...to your advantage.

 

5. Always go to the bathroom first.

 

6. Stand with arms raised, making pressure on the scale lighter.

 

7. Don't eat or drink in the morning until AFTER you've

weighed in, completely naked, of course.

 

8. Weigh yourself after a haircut, this is good for at

least half a pound of hair (hopefully).

 

9. Exhale with all your might BEFORE stepping onto the

scale (air has to weigh something, right?).

 

10. Start out with just one foot on the scale, then holding

onto the towel rack in front of you, slowly edge your other

foot on and slowly let off of the rack. Admittedly, this

takes time, but it's worth it. You will weigh at least two

pounds less than if you'd stepped on normally.