Well, I tried to journal in here earlier this month, but the internet gods had other ideas.

So here I am now.

It's the middle of the month.

I have been stymied in my weight loss, stuck. FRACK!

I have been tripping over obstacles and stumbling through the month missing appointments, and dissappointing people. Double FRACK!!

I need to sit and center and figure out why I am flubbing up so many things.

I'm only a perfectionist in certain things. My Parents drilled into my psyche that anything worth doing is worth doing well, so I need to understand why I have NOT been doing things well.

Part of it may be my meds, but I don't think it could be affecting me that much since none of them are drugs that affect the workings of the mind.

I've been feeling alot of cosmic stuff, a sort of something impending, but have no clue as to what it is.

I have some projects I have made half hearted attempts to begin, but the path to completion seems stewn with minor diversions that lead to other minor diversions that end up miles from where I had intended to be.

Timing seems to be playing a part in all this and I feel disconnected with my inner compass that usually guides me as I fly by the seat of my pants. So I keep slamming into barriers. GRRRR

All this sounds a little vague doesn't it?

Well in articulation something intangible, it usually is I guess.

I was sitting here this morning looking at one project and asking myself why I just don't just get up and do it. Without a plausible excuse, I did get up and do it. So that's one down.

I have no clue why it seemed so daunting in the first place.

Mark has seemed to be on vacation lately, he usually is the one who boots me in the butt to get things done. Maybe he is waiting for me to get off my ass myself. Maybe I've become too dependant on him to remind me of things. Where ever you are little bro, I need you!

I did officiate a a beautiful handfasting on the 12th. It was very eerie in a nice way, when ever I looked up from my script into the couple's eyes the background around us dissolved and I had the distinct impression that we 3 had done this before in another place and time. All sound and motion seemed stilled and slowed. Even the temperature changed. It felt warm as if we were inside a lodge or long house of some kind, something scandinavian. Oh well.

Considering we were outside in the desert on a breezy evening at 46 degrees, it really was remarkable.

 

I have the happy chance to lead  the New Moon ritual at L&S on friday and am really looking forward to it.

Well that's about all for now,hopefully I'll be able to write more this month.

Q