Dealing With Evil Hip Bloat

"Sally, I was unable to zip my jeans this morning and it's not even that time of the month.  What could be wrong?"

"It's Evil Hip Bloat.  It happens to the best of us."

What happened?  Your jeans fit yesterday!  But this morning you had to lay on the bed to zip them up, one painful inch at a time.  And it wasn't just you!  Your wife had the same problem this morning.  The two of you spent 30 wasted minutes on the bed just zipping up jeans.

So what's going on here?  You were true to your diet!  You even ate that 'Can't Pinch an Inch' cereal this morning.  And you were equally good yesterday.

For breakfast, you enjoyed a bowl of oatmeal and one cup of melon balls sprinkled with no calorie sweetener.

For lunch, you enjoyed a sandwich made out of oat bread, sprouts, sliced pickles, and lean honey turkey. You also had a healthy 1 cup of pinto beans with one ounce of REAL pepperjack cheese.  You craved something nutty so you opted for 25 sunflower seeds.

You snacked on some of Orville's Smartpop popcorn for your noon treat.  You shook a bit more salt onto it though, as it needed just a smidgen more.

For dinner, you enjoyed a crisp bowl of Hawaiian Dreamslaw, one bowl of bean soup, 2 of the tasty, low calorie giant pickles that you topped your sandwich with at lunch, and another cup of melon balls.  You put a little salt on them too.  For some reason, you have a Salt Tooth today.

"CAN WE SAY HIP BLOAT?"

Yes, you WERE good!  BUT - unfortunately you made some 'Evil Hip Bloat' choices that might stay with you for a few days.

During the Evil Hip Bloat phase, you might experience any of the following:

1. Weight gain - but don't panic because it is temporary.

2. Bloated hips and other bloated body parts - but don't panic.

3. You may even feel like the Hindenberg or like you've just consumed a keg of regular beer - ready to explode.  Just don't let your boss or mother-in-law hug you.  And be patient, because this feeling will definitely......pass - but don't panic