| 1) NUDITY
I was driving with my three young children one warm
summer evening when a woman in the convertible
ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!
As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old
shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't
wearing a seat belt!"
2) OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed
his teacher a note from his mother. The note read,
"The opinions expressed by this child are not
necessarily those of his parents."
3) KETCHUP
A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of
the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she
asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone.
"Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
now. She's hitting the bottle."
4) MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found
himself in the women's locker room. When he was
spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy
watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the
matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before."
5) POLICE
It was the end of the day when I parked my police
van in front of the station. As I gathered my
equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I
saw a little boy staring in at me "Is that a dog you
got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied.
Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the
back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
6) ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers
lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She
was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of
old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of
false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for
the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned
and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe
this!"
7) DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And
why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you
a headache the next morning. "
8) SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of
school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
let me talk!"
9)BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What
have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the
young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's
underwear." |
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