| On the Lie
BY JIM YOUNG
"HOW YA DOIN'?" "Oh, fine, just fine." You know what fine means in the twelve-step domain, don't you?
Frustrated, Insecure, Needy and Egocentric: FINE. Unthinkingly, "Fine," we say. Or is it unthinkingly that we're saying it? It is true that sometimes we are "just fine." Just dandy. Life is a bowl of cherries. I suspect, though, that saying we're fine is more often than not just the illusional tip of the iceberg: a little white lie that keeps us and the other from seeing what lies beneath the emotional waters. Our response to this common, everyday inquiry is often calculated to keep our real identity, our real feelings about ourselves and life, hidden from plain view. The response is usually one that is geared to keep our Truth from showing up to the world. And to make it safe for us to keep from examining it for ourselves. After this initial response occasionally the conversation eventually it goes to a topic that feels safer to explore. If we get comfortable enough in such a follow-up discussion, bits and pieces of how we really feel come out into the open. But even this is not always probable, for our conversations are often filled with fear, or at least reluctance, a feeling that it's just not safe to share what we're really feeling in heart and soul. Either we don't feel safe telling another our deep, dark secrets, or we don't feel safe facing them ourselves. Or both. We tend to justify not being in our Truth when responding to this simple inquiry with the underlying rationalization that the other person really doesn't care how we're doing or how we feel. "They are only asking out of civility," we say, "not real interest or compassion." If this is true, asking the question in the first place is disingenuous, and thus a lie. It's better to not ask at all than to set up another to respond to a question that isn't even spiritually intended. By spiritually intended I mean authentic in its spiritual intention, asked out of genuine interest in our common spirit. And out of genuine compassion for our fellow beings. This is just one example of how we lie to ourselves and each other. For some of us at least, such behavior runs rampant. After all, we have been taught by the experts to lie. We are lied to frequently on TV; being misled is that. In the news reports from and about our government. We are deceived by salespersons and yes, even teachers and parents. The list is endless. Most of it is habitual and not even conscious lying. But still it is lying, nonetheless. Perhaps another, even more subtle, example might help clarify the nature of lies. For many of us, our parents deceived us in much of our upbringing. At least in some of the most important parts of our upbringing. Rather than getting to know us well, they often projected their own dreams onto us. And with those projections came their expectations for achieving those dreams in our everyday lives. If they wanted for us to be a doctor, for example, then one needed to study certain subjects, get certain grades, and develop great discipline and fortitude, all at a huge cost to our real well-being. What really was happening was that we were asked, even forced on occasion, to live a lie. We took on the responsibility of living a life that was suitable to meeting their dream for us, yet more than likely it didn't even come close to fitting what we really are about or what we need to be fulfilled ourselves. We follow the dream external to our own Truth and thus live a giant lie most of our lives. Again, this may have been an unconscious pattern, but it is a pattern that destroys and diminishes our potential for becoming all we are to be. Thus our internal authenticity is replaced by our striving to be what another erroneously projected on to us, to make them feel better about themselves. No matter what its cause, to live by this erroneous acceptance rather than our own inner Truth is living a lie. If you do not yet believe this, just ask yourself in all honesty what you really wanted to be when you grew up. Are you living that - or someone else's dream for you? Still again, ask yourself about how you raise your children and how you guide your own life. How you treat others. Discern for yourself if you have served your own self-absorption, at least in part, or have you instead guided another to do and be what they must purely for their own good, opening them to locate and live their own Truth for their lives? If you have tried to live anyone's life for them - implanting your Truth in their mind as theirs to live - then you have lied to both them and yourself. My father said it best: "If I put my head on your shoulders, you wouldn't be you." What a wise man was he! How about every time we overindulge ourselves in life's offerings? We know better than to do so. We know that balance is the key to hearty living, and yet we lie to ourselves and allow self-indulgence at the expense of our internal integrity. Instead of lying to myself by responding to that which I am allowing to deplete my energy with the self-indulgence of comfort food, oft' times the hallow sugars of life, I know in the deepest recesses that taking just a moment to tap into my Truth will restore my energy to overflowing. Once again, fruitful living comes down to making a Truth-filled choice for ourselves. We know in the depths of our heart what the right thing to do is in every situation. Yet we lie to ourselves in most instances out of simple convenience or sheer laziness. We do what is easiest, or what feeds our ego's demands rather than Soul's Truth for us. Every time we follow our ego's lead instead of our inner Truth we are living a lie. Focusing on our inner integrity, our character development, is a key to a rich life. We live in harmony with Soul's calling for us. Character, it is said, is what we do when no one else is watching. Just think of what we have done in the name of honesty that is not that at all, but rather a mere rationalization to justify doing something we ought not. While seemingly harmless, or even helpful to ourselves, such choices only demean and tarnish our character. Taking supplies home from work; not paying taxes on our full income; fudging on the truth to protect yourself from imagined wrath from another; each of these - and many more you can list if you're being honest with yourself - are nothing more, or less, than living lies. It is the lie we must face if we are to Truthfully walk the spiritual journey we are. The journals are filled with examples of people who have been told that they have a fatal disease, and only now have decided that they will live what they always wanted to be the rest of their days. In so doing, somehow - quite magically it seems - their disease is arrested, or deserts them permanently. It is living Soul's calling that is our Truth. Living this Truth restores us to the perfection we are, on all levels of being. Simply put, when we are living in harmony with Soul's calling our internal chemistry returns to balance. All the physical ailments that we created to tell us to return to spiritual balance so the rest of our life could likewise be, leave us. Their purpose in returning us to living our Truth has been fulfilled. When we do, we are lovingly creating. Living True to Soul's calling for us. This is perfection in Being. And as far removed from lying as it can be. It is integrity of the highest order, and anything less is a lie, no matter how we say it or live it. And when we resort to living Truth and nothing else, we are reinstated to - and transformed by - our original state of wholeness, health and inner peace and joy. Many of us invest a great deal of energy trying to overcome our physical and mental weaknesses. Trying to overcome our supposed shortcomings. Yet we fall short in this seeming never-ending task simply because we rarely consider - or perhaps simply fail to remember - our spiritual nature. When we are living contrary to what is our True nature as spiritual beings, we are lying to ourselves and all around us. Whenever we limit ourselves rather than live the expansiveness of our creative ability, we fall short of living our Truth. How do we avoid living the lie? It doesn't take years of investigating with a psychiatrist how screwed up our mind is. Nor does it take investing in every healing modality known to mankind. Despite their relative effectiveness, such approaches would take eons to complete. When we choose these methods we guarantee that we will reincarnate endlessly until we clear away all the debris that such lies create, one lifetime at a time. It really only takes the formulation of a new thought habit and practicing living it in each moment, free from the burdens of our past. And with it, the fearful, imagined repetition of our past into the future. Both the past and future are illusions - lies as such - for they are nonexistent. They neither have been, nor ever will be, real. Moreover, when we endlessly engage these illusions, we are using our energy in ways that diminishes it for use in living our heart's desire in the moment instead. These illusions are simple distractions that keep us from Soul's journey. In my own life, for example, I am easily drawn to causes, usually not of my own making, but causes that need to be fulfilled for the good of humankind. Like waging peace instead of war. Or wanting to assist a friend in establishing a center for spiritual healing. When I step back from these temptations and see them for what they truly are, I realize that my tendency to get drawn into such matters leads me into the energy-consuming details of administration rather than in fulfilling Soul's real calling for me. Indeed, each time I engage another's cause, I am distracted from focusing on Soul's calling to my own fulfillment once again, causing yet one more delay in expressing truthfully what it is I am called to be and do. We are given only the moment in which to lovingly demonstrate our Truth, Soul's calling. In the only reality there really is, this is all we have to do to correct our course in life: lovingly living each moment of Soul's calling for us with integrity. Some would say that we will be instantaneously healed when we do. I say that we are not healed at all. Rather, I say that we would merely have returned to our original state of spiritual perfection, that which is witnessed by living our Truth with all we are. Doing so leaves no room for dis-ease with any part of life. When we return to our inner integrity we are in harmony with infinite wisdom and our innate power to lovingly create. Living in harmony with our authentic relationship with the God within leaves no room for anything that could trouble us in any way. Instead of viewing life as troubling events and stressful circumstances, we traverse the planet with hearts filled with joy and peace and compassion for our fellow spiritual beings, as well as our self. Truth finally prevails. Actually, it abounds, filling our life to the brim, overflowing with its gifts of grace. Lovingly living Soul's calling is foreign to much of our planetary culture, but as more and more of us come to this way of authentic living instead of living the lie, our planet will also be restored to perfection. We will have fulfilled our call to the collective consciousness of spiritual Truth, and only spiritual Truth. Ours will be a decidedly different planet when we finally commit to living this way. Such a life begins by exercising this first step: to fathom the depths - if only to reengage the Truth of our being within - and living it faithfully. This is the Truth we must live and be, and when we do, all lies disappear from our hearts and lips. Integrity is restored. Wholeness, perfection in being, prevails. Oneness is finally reinstated. We are entirely transformed by this understanding of Oneness, the Oneness that can be only when we, each of us, is living Soul's calling lovingly. Why is this? Because we will have reunited with the Soul that is common to us all. When we know this to be our Truth - for all of us - then our demonstration will reflect this Truth. We will have validated this as Truth, for Soul clarifies Truth. Actually, Soul is Truth for us. All else is a lie, whether we'd like to admit it or not. So the next time someone asks "how you're doin'", consider that your answer could now truly be, "I'm great, just great!" Because when you are living Soul's calling and only that calling, you truly are great. As great as it's possible to be. But then again, you're always great; always have been and always will be. SPIRIT NOODLES Contemplate your own responses to life for just a few moments. Take just one single incident, let us say, in a relationship, where you had the choice to tell the truth or live a lie, and contemplate how that felt deep in your gut when you responded how you did. Then imagine yourself responding in the opposite fashion: acting out of your Truth. Think now about how the one affected by your lie might feel, and how his or her feelings might be transformed by knowing the Truth of the matter, instead. Listen carefully to your deepest feelings. In each case feel them deep in the pit of your stomach and discern which you favor. If you are clear in this determination, then take a few more examples, exercising the same process and see where it takes you. Once you have completed this, decide what works best for your Soul and practice living this and only this. Do not fear the results of behaving truthfully, for how another responds to your truthful behavior is none of our business. Only behaving Truthfully is your business. Besides, there's no telling how another will respond to Truth. You might even be pleasantly surprised.
Ask yourself this question: "If money or external obligation were of no consequence, what would I do with my life beginning when I awake tomorrow morning?" You might want to even ask yourself how you came to be where you are in your life now: what your familial relationships are, what you do for a living, where you live, what and whom you surround yourself with, for example. Ask, truthfully, "What is it I have always wanted to do with my life, but for one reason or another I haven't done it?" Ask, truthfully, which of these choices were made from your own center, and which were in response to another's influence on you. How does this investigation influence the choices you will make from now on?
Take a thoughtful look about how you have influenced others. Much of your influence will be unknown, but to the degree you can tell, how have you influenced another to either be him her self, an expression of what you think is really best for them? How might you look at your responsibilities in relationships as a result of this examination?
Look at any area of your life - relationships, eating habits, financial condition, exercise patterns, self-indulgence, self-deceit, failing to honor your body's call for help - and look carefully to see if you are genuinely taking care of your own needs as well as you do others. If you are not, what can you do to become more aware of your own special needs and be totally committed to fulfilling them?
Construct a confidential list of any lies you may have told in the last forty-eight hours, no matter to whom, no matter how large or small. Take a few moments with each and determine for yourself what it was that convinced you to steer from telling the Truth, or living in it. Look carefully at each to determine the underlying cause for your action. Envision a mental-emotional construct that will free you from the seeming need to lie and try it out in your imagination. Ask yourself how you can think about a particular situation that will free you to act and speak in Truthful terms. Again, test your feelings about this solution and refine it accordingly, until the solution brings you inner peace.
It is said that our character is described by what we do when no one else is present. Conduct a brief survey of your behavior over the past week when no one else has been around to see it. In a short paragraph, compose an accurate description of your character as determined by those actions. If you are not satisfied with this description, briefly define what actions you might take to rectify it. Write another description of your character once you have rectified it in your mind. Are you now happy with it? Would you be proud to have others think of you this way? Do you feel proud thinking of yourself this way?
page created by ~eerie
|
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
First 