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| | From:  nanaD_3 (Original Message) | Sent: 6/17/2006 3:27 AM |
I realize it has been about a month since last writing. Just got overwhelmed with all medical app. and what is hanging over my head. I will try again. |
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Nana, that is a lot of sadness around you hon with all the illness. It a lot to deal with.When things over whelm me I go to my faith. Just talking it out to him gives me peace. Something too, try watching funny movies on TV.Something to take your mind away and makes you laugh.Laughter is good medicine.God bless & be with you hon.    MaryB |
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| | | From: sarahQ | Sent: 9/4/2006 7:04 PM |
Hi Nana, please please don't ever feel that you will driving us away, Talk away it will help you no end . When you are hypothyroid everything does look twice as black. I know exactly what you mean when you say no one seems to hang around if you don't get better within 5 minutes. I watched this happen when a friend of mine had cancer, I think people were afraid to visit because they didn't know what to say.Friend has made a full recovery I am glad to say, as you will too. It is the same with any physical problem too, people can't or don't know how to interact with anyone who has a movement or staminer problem. When I became ill a few months back and began to find difficulty walking more than few hundred yards without a rest and needing to sleep for a few hrs each afternoon concern was shown to start with but as soon as I had a dignoses of a large tumour in my belly, the visits soon stopped. I did point out they couldn't catch it and it wasn't cancerous so what was their problem? They all seem to be under the impression that I needed peace and quiet and really didn't want to see anyone  .I just do everything at my own pace now and sod everyone else lol. If you ever want to chat look in my profile as msn details there. Sue (SarahQ) |
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I'm speaking from my own experience now, and you can tell me to bug off, if you want. But when you are dealing with a severe medical problem, YES. Thank goodness your friends and family rally around you. I know that when I was so bad off in the hospital, that my dad barely ever left the room. Chap was there every moment he could get away from work. But guess what? Things got better, and life went on. Not so much closeness or attention. I 'm still me, with everything that goes with it, but it just isn't so special anymore. Is that what you are feeling? Like your family wants you to move on, but you aren't ready? Your post sounds like there are so many tragic things happening, you aren't sure which way to turn, or who to hold on to. As if what is going on with your health is no longer as important as it once was...at least not in respect to what else is occurring. You want to be strong for you family, but you still want to be held and told you are OK. Maybe I'm just talking about myself here. I think we would both be better off if we could get a good night's sleep! Just never doubt that you have friends here who love you. HUGS! sheryl |
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| | | From: nanaD_3 | Sent: 9/17/2006 12:33 PM |
Tomorrow is the day. Lonely, scared, stressed, exhausted, in pain, weak, shaky, angry, frustrated, and OK I admit it...terrified of the pill I must take and what it will do to me.!!! I already have had anaphlactic reaction to meds twice in my life and it scares the you know what out of me about this one as well as the drug "Reglan" which I must take today, tomorrow and the day after and also which I have never been on before! Really not looking to the week of isolation. Already feel cut off from the world because even computer time has been few and far between because of weakness, exhaustion and bathroom chasing. THank you all again for daily flowers, good thoughts and prayers. Nana |
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| | | From: Veets10 | Sent: 9/17/2006 6:24 PM |
Hey nana... No kidding you are touch with your feelings!! Lol... Thinking of you often and praying that you come throughis next "door" to recovery as easily as possible and with no suprises. I know having a history of previous drug reactions adds a special fear for you.. Praying the Lord sees no reason for you to go there again... there being so close to him and then back to this life! Guard the energy you have but know that many of us look for your postings through this difficult time. |
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Nana, Thinking of you and prayers for you. Beth |
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| | | From: nanaD_3 | Sent: 10/14/2006 8:06 PM |
Things for me are different now. I am no longer the person I was a little over a month ago. Too much has happened. I have had to spend too much time by myself and I see a lot of things I am not happy about. During the week I was extremely radioactive I had to be alone. I have never felt so alone in my life and didn't think it could get worse. Hubby had his own issue and still does so we are drifting further apart and I feel more alone than before. Guess I have not been posting because I am trying to work thru some very bitter feelings right now and don't want to bring anyone else down into the doldrums with me. I care about folks here but we are dealing with so many issues in our lives right now that the problems of others can be overwhelming sometimes. It doesn't mean I don't care...just that I don't have the strength to handle more right now (most of the time) .I don't physically have the energy to handle a lot right now. I don't even care about the diabetes and am not really paying much attention to it. I don't even know why I am journaling this. Just trying to get it out of my head and out where I can see it more clearly I guess. |
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| | | From: nanaD_3 | Sent: 10/24/2006 2:26 AM |
I think things are getting better slowly and another curve ball is thrown my way. I have been having a lot of diahrrea and pain in my back, just below rib area for some time. The doc had wanted to do biopsy of liver but the cancer diagnosis took priority. The latest blood work however showed a problem so tomorrow morning I must have abdominal ultrasound/sonogram done. I want to be able to complain but don't feel I have the right. A friend of the family, 15 yrs old, living with his Dad but pretty much raising himself, was just diagnosed with Hodgkins' lymphoma. This kid has already had a hard life and things are just getting worse for him. Haven't really been keeping much of an eye on the bg's or anything. I have been kind of blowing that part of my life off and not sure why. I check my number in the morning but seldom after that so I have no real idea what they have been running. Still tire out so easily and I chalk part of that up to the severe pain in my back below the ribs. Hope they don't take too long before letting me know what is going on. I almost ended up waking hubby up the other night to take me to ER; the pain was so bad. |
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| | | From: nanaD_3 | Sent: 10/25/2006 10:46 PM |
I had a scary moment in the city today. Was shopping and started sweating and getting shaky. Took my bg and I was having a low. I was in city by myself as my aid didn't bother to show or call in today. Right or wrong I grabbed a package of mini 3 musketeers and had one candy bar. Still couldn't get bg above 92. This was my own fault I guess. I had only had coffee and a small handful of dry cereal for the day. I have just put on so much weight with being hypothyroid that I don't want to eat. Guess I have to try to eat a bit more than I did; especially if going out anywhere. |
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nanaD_3, I read your journal entry for today and my heart goes out to you. That is so scarey getting low out in public like that. I've started making myself eat veggies (even if I just pop a small tomato) and a protein at breakfast, whether it's an egg, a little carton of cottage cheese, or a slice of lowfat cheese. The protein and complex carbs make it last longer for me. I also carry a piece of fruit or one of those individual packs of prunes and some peanut butter crackers in my purse for emergencies. I did best on Richard Simmons, but then gained all the weight back (like I always do) and am now on Weight Watchers, just so I have the live meetings. I've been down and up, but I seem to finally be getting hold of it (again). Richard Simmons uses the same exchanges as the American Diabetes Association, so it's easier for me to follow and keep my glucose levels consistent. I'm thinking of weighing in with Weight Watchers and attending the meetings, but following the Richard Simmons program so I can easily do ADA exchanges. Be well! Cody |
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| | | From: nanaD_3 | Sent: 10/26/2006 2:10 AM |
Cody: Thank you for your response and your suggestions. The problem is that I have gastroparesis as a complication of the diabetes so foods with high fat content or fiberous foods are out for me. This doesn't give me a lot of choices. Hope things are going well for you.
Nana
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Hello Nana, Your journal has touched my heart. (How could it not for any feeling person?) You do have some major battles that you are contending with girl! Guess I need to introduce myself as I am new to the community. I am DoubleWinner because my pattern has been first up to Diabetic levels and then down to shock levels. Fun!! lol Like most here, I imagine, I have hunted through glen & dale to find answers and would like to share a few because they may help you or someone else reading this journal: I run a Hypoglycemic community here on MSN and one on yahoo. The name is Hypoglycemics United here on MSN. You may find a few tricks there that will aid you when your BG drops out. I also have written a couple of Blood Sugar books. One is a control book for Hypo while the other is a pretty inclusive cookbook. The Holidays are coming up. In the cookbook is an entire sugar free Holiday meal w/ turkey, stuffing, cranberry relish and pumkin pie. About 3 years ago I discovered the glyconutrients through one of my members in the MSN group. If I follow common sense rules like avoiding stress & other things I can now eat my sugars without disturbing my blood sugar levels. I had thyroid problems which have mostly corrected themselves using these which are the natural form of glycomics. In this group is my partial journal of when I began taking them and then highlights after. I didnt journal everyday but it tells the highlights of beginning & maybe through a year or so. Anyone if you want to know more just drop me a line. By the way, if you really work the business end of this, which I haven't, you can make enough to offset your costs and maybe a little more. Anyway, I will be praying for you! DoubleWinner |
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