Dear Journal,

 

It's good to be on a diabetes board--where everyone puts so much effort into their graphics that diabetes isn't even an issue!!!  Just building a mailbox with websets for the first time, getting some siggies made up by Chan and others, and finding my bearings has been a fun process.

 

This board is so much nicer than USENET.  People don't seem to fight and pick at one another here.  It's so comforting.

 

Cody

 

 

Dear Journal,

 

My egg actually fell off my whole grain bread after only 2 bites, so I fed it to the dogs and just forgot about it.  That was not a good idea, because I could feel my glucose changing.  I haven't checked it all day. 

 

My back is really bothering me, and I'm trying not to take meds, but it's a losing battle.  I'm going to take the naproxen but try to avoid the muscle relaxers.  We'll see if that helps.  I was standing a lot on Saturday and sitting on hard wood all afternoon, and I've had serious pain ever since.

 

I also had some computer problems, and I find myself trying to distract myself so I can get my focus back on what I need to do.  I'm so tired of diabetes messing with my head.  It's so hard to keep the levels in the middle and not too high or too low.

 

Cody

 

 

Dear Journal,

 

I have successfully used orthopedic cushions and Sportscreme today to keep the pain in my hip, back, and shoulder at bay.  I can finally think again!!!

 

I have done great on food today.  I am very proud, because I've gained and lost the same 40 pounds so many times.  Right now I'm at 202 (down from 215, but up from 187 most recently).  It's not easy, and I don't care how much information I have (I have a biology degree and took nutrition in college quite a few years ago, and I still have trouble).

 

My sugar has been quite good--only high when I really go crazy.  I'm not a binge eater, but sometimes I just eat too much of things or the wrong things at a given time.

 

Today I'm feeling a little more positive than I have all week.  I am so thankful for that.

 

Cody

Dear Journal,

 

I really am not pleased with MSN.  I have typed in my journal quite a few times since the last post, and when I hit "send" it says it "can't find that page."  In fact, I get that message most of the time when I try to visit this board.

 

Anyway, I'm down to 196, and I'm following Richard Simmons right now because it's easier than the WW journaling, and I'm also attending WW meetings.  Also, RS uses olives and nuts as oils and WW only uses oil as oil, and I find olives and nuts are just much more satisfying.  Since scientists determined that peanuts actually help diabetics in small amounts, I'll just eat 10 low salt dry roasted peanuts if I'm really famished and it helps me balance myself until I finally get to a meal.

 

Chan has turned me on to a very good habit--web design.  It really helps my moods to be creative for a little while, and I feel like I've accomplished something.

 

I'm going to save this message to my clipboard since the one I took a lot of time to write is gone with the wind...

 

Cody

Dear Journal,

 

It's been a crazy busy fall, and I'm terrified of my progress in school, our finances due to medical expenses, and my health--not so much the diabetes, though.  I have been suffering a lot from injuries sustained in an accident almost 15 months ago.  I wake up in the middle of the night in agony, and end up getting up and taking ibuprofen and then just being sleepy and groggy-headed a lot.

 

I also developed a URI and have to stay away from my elderly mom until I recover.  That's been bittersweet--she's disappointed, and yet I've been really enjoying the complete lack of stress since I don't have to drive in that traffic for 7 or 8 hours, I don't have to rush around preparing things for specific deadlines, etc.  I'll drive down as soon as my URI clears up and we'll celebrate just a little late, and it will be fine.

 

Today I prepared as much of the food as I could for tomorrow, so all I have to do is put things in the oven.

 

It's a rainy overcast cold day, and I am really delighted to be here with my family and pets and just appreciated what I *do* have to be thankful for.  There is just so much, it's hard to find a place to begin.

 

Cody

Dear Journal,

 

It's been an emotional couple of weeks.  Serious family insanity, and I've not handled it all that well.  I do well much of the day and then something sets me off and *bang!*--I grab something off program.  I'm also in a lot of pain from an auto accident, and the cold weather has made it really settle in my right hip, knee, and calf.  So I rubbed some Sportscreme on that just a minute ago and I'm just waiting for it to work its magic so I can go back to bed.

 

I'm so thankful Chan turned me on to Web design.  It's so therapeutic and relaxing when I'm stressed.  I know I eat less as a result, because it gives me an outlet that is immediately available when I just want to take a short break from work.

 

My 89-year-old mom will be here December 20 to January 3, so I might not be able to get on the computer a lot.  It's great she's still able to get around a bit.  She's mostly blind and uses a walker, and she loves to go to things like community and church plays and musical events and just walking around stores to get exercise without buying much. 

 

It can be very stressful when she's around--especially now, because my brother just went to jail and she is afraid this might be her last Christmas.  He has a lot of problems, and who knows if he'll ever figure out life.  It's sad for the family, and yet I'm relieved--at least we'll know where he is.  I think it's even more stressful for her when he disappears and she doesn't have any idea where he might be or if he's safe.  It's especially sad because the anniversary of my father's death is next week, so mom has all that going around insider her head (and so do I).

 

I feel like I might be getting another cold--this time in my chest.  I just ate some hot oatmeal (the low sugar kind) with 1% milk to warm myself up--I woke up coughing.  Of course, that means I'll have to pay close attention to my BG's.

 

It's really fun to have so many of the same people in different groups.  Of the thousands of groups, I'm in about 4 where the same people post!!!  I don't post a lot, but it really helps when I *do* post.  Journaling really seems to clear the head.

 

I hope everyone is coping well with their disease and the holiday season.  I don't of any culture that doesn't have something going on in December, so I think we all are in this together, even with our different traditions.

 

Thank you to everyone for just making this place available to us. 

 

Cody

Dear Journal,

 

I've been doing better in some areas.  My eating is a lot better again and my exercise and water, too. 

 

I remembered that I do a lot better when I eat vegetable soups, so I started making that WW one where youdump a can with liquid of each carrots, green beans, zucchini, tomatoes, stewed tomatoes, and chicken or beef broth into a pan and simmer it for a few minutes.  Then I just mic bowls of it from the fridge. 

 

Also I've been keeping frozen berries at hand and if I'm desperate for a real "dessert," have some with a couple tablespoons of light Cool Whip.  It's a fight, though.

 

I am hopeful.

 

Cody

Dear Journal,

 

It's been a rough time!!!  I lost my youngest cat December 21 and I was feeling very stressed about my mom and brother.  I was feeling invalidated and crawling into my head and isolating myself.  I didn't watch my sugar as closely as I should, and became more depressed and irritable and probably put on weight (I haven't checked, but I'm certain).

 

So, now I'm just trying to pick up the pieces and get back on track.  I did try to post on MSN as an outlet, but I wasn't about to post except occasionally for several weeks due to the server problems they were experiencing.

 

I've really got to get my sugar back in control.  My toes are aching a lot and I've been sleeping more than I should.  So first I'm focusing on just getting enough water again and cutting back on foods that don't support healthy blood glucose levels.

 

I feel relieved that the holidays are over, my family is back at home, and my husband and our remaining pets are adjusting to the loss of our little friend.

 

I wish only the best for everyone here in the new year.

 

Cody