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| | From:  Sherry_2U (Original Message) | Sent: 12/22/2006 10:04 PM |
I guess first off, I apologize for not respondig to posts lately. I am just very down right now. I'm trying to shake it off , but it is hard to put a happy face on... Lots of things going on...I know lots of people feel melancholy or sad during the holidays but I have so many extraneous things going on . I think one of the things that have me down is the episode with Brandi last month. I was going along almost believing everything was okay with her health. Lets say I had put it on the back burner...I KNOW that I have no control over what happens to her , but I am so afraid that serious complications are on their way. It was also Dec 1989 when we were being prepped for the possibility of her going blind. Poor kid had to drop out of her drivers ed. class. Talk about heartbreaking for a 15 1/2 yr old...It was also the same Dec that my Mom was dying of cancer. Today, the 22nd ,is the anniversary of Moms death. I went crazy that year trying to do right by both of them...Then one week later I had a total hysterectomy. No time for a mental "break", my insurance was being canceled on Jan 1st. It's almost like that really bad December is back... I don't usually dwell on problems, don't believe in cying over spilt milk. Yet it seems that is just what I am doing...I chastise myself, knowing other people have much more serious issues... Another issue to contend with, is our filing for legal guardianship of Hope and Faith. I truly thought the biggest obstacle would be paying the $3,000 to the atty. Nope, all the rats are coming out of their holes. Certain people had to be notified of our filing, and now all hell has broken loose ! First David's ex calls our atty. ranting(and we believe drunk) that we are trying to take Aaron's girls away from him and should she get on a plane for the court date, which at the moment is Jan 4th. Give me a freakin break lady !!! I had to raise her 2 kids for her and now I am raising her granddaughters that she has ignored since their birth. It's anyones guess if she'll show up to make a stink. Although it's hard to believe though she'd fly in from Wisconsin for children she doesn't truly care for. The next rat to crawl out is the girls mother. We haven't heard from her in 2 years...She got her notification and called us wanting to know what was going on. Dave just gave her our attys ph #. I spoke to our atty and yes Sonia called and is saying that she wants the girls in the summer. SORRY and bull S*** that is not going to happen. Those babys were abused and severely neglected with her and our son. We have worked so hard and have made such progress, Dear God, surely a judge will not alllow this ???? This has me scared to death...You read ALL the time about babies that are sent back to their birth parents and those children are abused all over again. I try and tell myself that won't happen in our situation. I'm sick at heart with the thought...Well ths venting is good, I am finally crying as I sit here. We had a caseworker from the court come out on Wed. to interview us. I'd say we passed with flying colors but won't know until she has sent her report in to our atty and the court. when we told her the mom had just called this past sunday, she said that now she has to call the mom back and if Mom does not give her permission, then the next step is that CPS would investigate the mom and the court date would be pushed back about a month. The caseworker said not to worry...HA! There IS something about it being more than 2 years since she (mom)has inquired about her daughters. I need to read up on that, maybe I will be reassured. The other relatively little thing is I am due for my 6 mo whole body scan.To make sure no nasty cancer cells have returned. I feel fine physically, but it is always a scary feeling until the scan is done and you get the "all clear". Well that's my pity party...any comments or constructive criticism ? |
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| | | From: Bar | Sent: 12/23/2006 5:29 AM |
Sherry, Sometimes it's just too much isn't it. You will just have to keep thinking that everything will work out right. I really can't believe that anyone would give the children back to parents who were abusive. I know that it has happened in rare cases but you have so much on your side. I am still praying for you and your family. Having the girls there will make your Christmas good. |
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oh my dear Sherry I wish I could say they don't stand a chance in getting Faith & Hope back but we just never know how the court system will work for sure.But think about doing this.Tell your attorney if the girls mother shows up in court to request that she take a drug test right than and there if she is on drugs she will not have a chance. My youngest sister's son's parent have wanted their grand daughter for some time.My Nephew ( David ) and at the time Girlfriend never married but had a child together ,they split up. David's Father & Step mother wanted Brandy so they tricked the mother into moving into one of their rent houses and offered to take Brandy to live with them until she got moved in and on her feet. They waited 4 weeks next thing she knew she received notice to be in court that they had field abandonment on her also gave her a restraining order ..she was not aloud to contact them or Brandy. When she went to court she was ordered to take a drug test..she failed the test..they took parental rights from her & gave Brandy to them..she has to pay child support and only allowed supervised visitation only. How is Brandi doing Sherry? is there anything going on now with her health? Sherry you have every right to want to rant ..scream... whatever it takes ..honey to let it out. Just know I'm on your side hon, praying that God gives you strength to deal with all thats going on with your life.Take it a step at a time. Hubby & I picked up my Son & grandson tonight and we went to my Son's church..its a in Flower mound Texas, a good 30 to 45 minute drive from our side of town. But tonight they were having a Christmas program. Boy was it awsume..the young people in that church can sing and play their instruments . The church is huge & yet there was standing room only ...just awesome.oh & you know that actress that played on Saturday night live ..the one that wore a hairnet and was always hitting someone with her purse...Ruth Rugby ? I think thats her name ..anyway she was there in the audience. The message was God made a stairway down to Earth caring his baby son to give to us.Thru his Son he would walk with us with every step we take.. he is there by our side. I came out of the Church feeling renewed. Try & rest tonight dear Sherry, keep your faith hon..you know you can always lean on him   . MaryB |
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OK, honey...take a deep breath...feel any better? Here's a sad coincidence: My mom also died on Dec 22, a day after my 31st birthday. So on that anniversary, I always think how I spent the last day of her life with her. And I necessarily also remember the awful night she passed. So my birthday is always sad. Our minds are cruel that way. Another thing about the mind, sometimes we are worried about one thing, and obsess over something else. Let's be logical here: no self-respecting judge in his right mind is going to listen to a custody plea from that drug addicted baby making machine. Doubtful she really even wants the children, since she hasn't said "boo" in years. Same for Aaron's mother. She didn't raise her own children, and now she is going to give you all a hard time about the grandchildren? No way that will hold any validity. It would be helpful if you had reported that Faith and Hope were abused...I had thought they were neglected. Are there photographs from that time? It shouldn't matter anyways. Their parents haven't been paying support to you or the state (yes, I know you were getting subsidized by the state, but NOT the parents). I'm pretty sure the law would have the parents repaying the state for the support, should the parents resume custody. So it is NOT going to happen. It is just a lot of administrative B***S*** so try to relax and wait. This too shall pass. Now there is nothing I can say to comfort you about Brandi. I can only imagine what it is like to face losing a grown child. But you have seen her rally from illness before, and she may well live for another 50 years, God willing. There is no immediate danger, right? Just the same chronic issues? So just love her as you always have, and trust in that love. It is all a parent can do. As for your body scan...when is it scheduled? I'm sure you want to get that put behind you, so you can get the "all clear" and move on. We all have some obstacle we have to hurdle every now and again. This one is yours. You will overcome it and keep moving forward. Because after all, what choice do you have? Let us all know, so we can join in prayer for you, OK? Hope something I said here has helped. Love you girlfriend! Big warm HUGS! sheryl |
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Thanks (((ladies))) for your replies. They all helped... I know I need to just take it one day and one step at a time. Sheryl, I have always called it severe neglect. But according to the caseworker that came out Wednesday from the court,neglect that severe would be considered abuse by the court. I know that a couple of the therapists who used to come to the house for Faith called it abuse as well. It was not abuse in the traditional sense, that most of us think of. I guess in our few talks, we hadn't covered the fact that Aaron does indeed pay child support as ordered by the court. They take it right out of his puney paycheck weekly, and the county then sends the payment on to us monthly. I was horrified when they found out where Sonia was, and started taking a small amt from her paycheck as well. Something like $25 a week it appears... I knew it would stir up a hornets nest. As far as Brandi, nothing new other thanthere has been some activity with the new growth of tumors. She'd been so lucky before , hardly any on her face but her body was covered with them. They are starting to grow on her face and the one that she did have on her eyelid as grown to where it is not only disfiguring, but is beginning to hinder her visio. She went yesterday to a Dr who specializes in cosmetic as well as pediatric eye surgery. How ironic that it turned out to be the Dr who did Faith's surgery ! He said he could remove the big growth on her eyelid and for less $$$ if he does it out of the office instead of hospital. The drawback is she would then be awake for the surgery. he also told her it would involve noticeable scars. No big deal on that one, considering the growths she's now getting. The important thing is to help the line of vision. She has also admitted to having pain from an internal tumor in her groin area. I'm scared because all this indicates a new period of growth , which is par for the disorder. The eye doc said he would have to call her re: a price for the surgery done in his office. I am hoping between her dad and myself, we can swing it. She seems depressed and does not look healthy. It's hell not to have any health ins with a disorder like this...Well, not to sound callous, but it's in God's hands. But as a Mom of course I still worry. Just can't go crazy with it... |
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| | | From: carens | Sent: 12/23/2006 8:32 PM |
Sherry, hugs, and I am praying for you all |
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