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Don't feel bad about being a bad parent. I also have a type 1 diabetic and she's also a pain on the butt. I have to constantly have to tell her to check her blood. And I also get the mean looks and who knows what she mumbles as she is walking away. I'm sure your going through the same thing I do. But lets give them time, and maybe they'll start seeing that we do it cause we love them..... jess |
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I am a Type 1 diabetic. I was diagnosed at age 10 and have had it for 18 years. You sound very similar to my own mother. She basically took care of my diabetes for me. I used to get so mad at her for making such a big deal out of everything that had to do with my diabetes. Thats not the case anymore though. Today I am so thankful for her everpresent guidance and love, even when it was not wanted. If it weren't for her always pushing me about controlling my blood sugars, I would surely be living a life with complications. Its hard for kids to take on the responsibility of being a diabetic. Life is hard enough when your that age. Just don't give up, keep pushin him. Someday he will be so greatful for it, I promise you that. Amanda |
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i have one person to thank in regards to my daughters diabetes, when it was first diagnosed. It was after she came out of icu, after being there for 4 days after almost going into what later we found out a diabetic coma with dehydration, the lot. It was a scary time for all. After her being transferred to the kids section, she was 11 at the time. I knew it would soon be time for her to come home and begin her "new" life of what, i knew there would be alot. One particular day when it was getting close to her coming home, this nurse walked in and said to her she was going to teach her how to give her insulin and what to do.........Leah looked at me in horror, like, mum, i can't do this, or, you don't expect me to do this........type of look. This nurse was lovely and spoke like she knew it all. Her comment to my daughter was, honey, your 11, and this is your body, and you want to live independantly from your mum, you need to know and do this to have this! i was in a quandry then as i was thinking, but can she, is she old enough to understand. the nurse showed her and for the remainder of time, would come and make sure Leah was doing it right.....i think with your son, you just need to sit down with him, if not you alone, maybe some health worker who knows about diabetes and explain things, explain the future, explain that he isn;t going to have mummy looking over his shoulder, and how he handles things now will determine his future life as he gets older. . I guess boys are just so different from girls.......and no doubt peer pressure to be like the others is on especially now. he is probably even getting interested in girls at this stage, as my daughter is getting interested in guys i can tell ya....haha. Know we are here for you, and we will help in any way we can, do you have msn messenger, let me know and i will give you my address. bye, chez |
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| | | From: jbs1 | Sent: 3/18/2006 1:57 AM |
Hi Mom, first off, alot of good info in response to your posting. Some, not so good. I'm a type1 w/two daughters who are not. But, with respect to teaching them anything (other than manners) they won't lessen to me on alot of things, where they will lessen to someone in another position. Check w/your Rn's, LPN's, and diabetic consultants who worked w/your son to extend their tenure, or check w/an outside person who represents an 'independent' voice. sometimes our kids can't see thru the "parent trap" to appreciate good, meaningful, and caring attention. b |
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35 years ago my daughter age 9 was diagnosed with type 1. At that time there were very few tools to work with and most of the kids spent a good deal of time in the hospital. She saw what happened when they did not take care. At first I did a lot of it and she was one of a very few kids who did not have to be hospitalized frequently. I shifted more and more responsibility to her. When she was 10 one morning she decided she would not take her shot. I did not argue with her but reminded her she should. She was in tears and kept saying "no". It was very difficult for me but after a few minutes I went for a long walk, staying away until lunchtime. When I returned home she had calmed down and had taken the shot. That was the worst episode ever except for one time when she was away at college. The doctor told me that was not an unusual event as many teens can have a rebellion. As one poster stated I too think boys and girls are different but I lived through it and so did she. So just try to hang in there. He should know you are concerned about his health and it is hard to reach the medium where he knows you care but that it is up to him to do it. Betty |
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I agree with Chez Completely. I was Dignosied with type 1 diabetes when I was 2 years old. I have to admitt that I kind of knew about diabetes bec of my aunt Martha, my grandparents, aunts and uncles. (All have diabetes) So I was familer with how they give theirself their shots and how they cheked their levels and all. I use to watch them all the time. When I was told that I have diabetes I was scared to give myself my shot and to check my levels. also. but I learnted to do it at the age of 5. My grandmom said it was time for me to learn to do it bec I was starting school and that my aunt or her wouldn't always be around to give me a shots and to check my levels for me. I remember my aunt saying NO she will just be at the school every day to give me my shots and she will call for them to check my levels.. they argued back and forth and my grandmom won lol. I want to a class and they taught me how to give myself shots/test myself and my nurse at school supervised/helped me if I needed help. There was a time when I remember yelling No I'm sick of testing myself I'm sick of needles and it all. I refused to test myself and give myself a shot. My grandmom just let me be then came to me about an hour later and asked me again did I test myself. I didn't. She sat me down her and my aunt. and I will never forget what she told me. She said to me chan you are old enough to do this on your own. She said it is my body and that I WILL Do it. She told me what will happen if I don't check my levels and all. How I can get sick . She told me about how my eyes can go bad and how I can end up on Dialysis and all like my grandpop and aunts. She then told me that she and aunt martha can't and won't always look over my shoulders and do things for me. Told me how smart and all I was. then grandmom asked me do I understand all that she is saying to me I told her yes bec I did understand. Then she tells me Well now the choice is yours. she said its up to you to decide if you will do what your are suppose to do. from that day forward I took my meds, gave myself Shots, checked my levels and watched what I ate. I took this diabetes seriously because I saw how it affected my family members and I didn't want to end up like my great grandparents- who both were blind from diabetes and lost their legs as well and grandpop was on dialysis. Just sat your son down explai diabetes to him and if you can;t take him to a diabetes class, get him educated ALL about diabetes. I bet you he will realize how serious diabetes is and he will take controll of his life. He is 13 years old, old enough to know what is right. If you can have him talk to someone who have diabetes, maybe that will help him. I ca do it if you like. I will let him know ALL about diabetes and how serious it is to be in controll of yoru diabetes and not have yor diaabetes controll you. I have been to lots of diabetes classes. I even teach a class in diabetes at my school every Tuesdays and fridays. I'm not saying that I know it all about diabetes because I don't and I am still learning myself but I do know enough about diabetes to educate anyone on it. Your son needs to take responsibility for his own testing,injecting,meds ect. without you having to remind or tell him to doi it. Kate said it perfectly-- You need to try and distance yourself from that aspect of his life cos u don't wanna get pulled in. He needs to learn to take care of himself but at the same time it is a huge thing to come to terms with so u also need to give him time. Chantal |
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I am a mom of a 15 year old type 1 diabetic girl. My daughter was diagnosed when she was 6, half way through grade 1. It was very hard on us at the time because we were in charge of her tests, doses and shots.Our daughter couldn't attend any camps or sleepovers because of her diabetes. Our hospital however was extremely supportive. We had a one week course at the very begining, which the 3 of us attended and a nurse that would call me every morning. She sees her doctor at the same hospital every three months for her check up and hemoglobin testing as well as a dietician that keeps her informed about good nutrition, not only because she's diabetic but it's healthy to eat well. When my daughter turned 10 she attended a 2 week camp that is organized for diabetic children. That made all the difference. First of all she realised that she's not alone in having diabetes, she learned how to eat well, how to test herself and how to give herself her shots. I highly recommend it. The camp is organised by the hospital and is run by doctors and nurses as well as parents and young adults who are mostly diabetic. There are 3-2 week sessions during the summer, with 80 children aged from 5-17 years old attending each session. She looks forward to going every summer. Look into it, you may find something similar available in your area. I feel that when they realise that there are others around them dealing with the same issues as they are, it is easier for them to adapt to a new lifestyle where their health is concerned, rather than being preached by a parent. I have long given up on doing that and she has begun to learn on her own and with the experiences of her diabetic camp friends as well as her friends at school. I hope I have helped, please feel free to ask me anything you are concerned about......I understand what you are going through. Be strong! Take care, Sophie  |
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Hi, im 17 and was diagnosed this year, so pretty new to all of this, many would say im not one to give advice, especially as you all have had much more experience with this than me! But, ill put in my words of advice anyway... Well. my situation is reverse to yours, as i am the teenager, and at home, i want to be independent and hate it when my parents remind me all the time of my safety issues while out and checking b/s and injecting! I believe that your situation will improve tremendously in a couple of years, or much less, because your son will realize that he wants to be independent and that one day, when he moves out of home, he'll have to do this all by himself. Try to involve him in buying products, going to the chemist, etc Ask for his input of how much of what to buy etc Really try and involve him into the process. This will be teaching him life skills.. lol 7 months isnt long, ive only been diabetic 4 months, it takes a while to actually believe that this has happened to you! its not just some story on tele or the guy across the road, when he is extracting himself from the process of looking after himself, it may be reflecting his inability to come to terms with this condition, a bit like ignoring a problem and hoping it goes away. but it wont as you no, and as a parent, the whole thing puts a lot of pressure on child and adult. and i would suggest finding a counsellor of some sort to vent anxiety, and help to find ways to communicate your feelings to your son, and someone your son can talk to who knows about diabetes, someone on the outside, to help him come to terms with the condition and start taking responsibility for his health.
Hope that helps in some way! love jess |
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| | From:  lmariop | Sent: 7/26/2006 4:09 AM |
I was the same way when I was a kid. Unfortunately for me back in the 80's they didn't teach "carb-counting" I think the most important thing for a kid is to know that they really can eat whatever they want if they really need to pig out, or enjoy snaks with friends etc. They just have to test real quick before they do, then see where they are and give a dose to cover the carbs. Kids are smart enough to handle carb counting, it's a carb counting world, only some of us depend on it.
I just went on the Omnipod insulin management system - Awesome! My BG levels have never been better. I think any kid would love this system, it's like right out of the matrix! Easy to use, small, just a joy to work with. If your kid can use an instant messenger, or and iPod, they can master their control. I've had diabetes for 28 years and this is some of the most promising technology I have seen.
Elliot P. Joslin camp its good too, I went as a child and the people who work there and run the plce really mentor in their teaching about diabetes. Kids need to learn about how diabetes effects all aspects of growing up and Camp Joslin really helps kids learn applicable control. |
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After reading the others posts(or at least skimming them) It sounded like me. I got diabetes at age 12. My mom still worries at times that my blood sugar might go too low so she's always askin me if i'm o.k. I mean I appriciate her caring and all that, but I know I need to take care of my diabetes now. I've been married for 4 years and out on my own for 10 years. When i changed from shots to the insulin pump in 2003, I think i got a little complacent (Lazy). Just try to stick by them. They will have their moods wings from time to time but deep down remember they do love you for caring. Kris |
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OMG! I have been a diabetic for years (22 exactly, I'm 24 and I have had it since age 2) and I remember how akward it was for me when I was in high school and this girl had just been diagnosed with diabetes. I tried so hard to comfort her because I knew that this would change everything in her life. I told her (because she was diagnosed with Type 2 and I have Type 1) that it wasn't that bad because she didn't have to take shots. I got so offended when she bit my head off and yelled at me that I didn't know what the heck I was talking about. The more I thought about it, I didn't. If I were you I would hug your son and tell him that even though you aren't feeling the symptoms of diabetes that you too are going through a difficult time because you love him very much and together you can figure the mess out. He may yell at you and tell you that you have no idea what he is going through (at first). I still do that to my family, but it helps knowing that someone loves and is sharing such a burden! Best of luck! :) BTW, you aren't the worst parent in the world, you are both going through a rough time. You shouldn't have to take all the responsibility. I did that to my mom when I was that age and I know now that it was hard for her, but I had to learn so that when I went out with my friends or school and she wasn't around...I didn't want to not know what to do if my BG got out of control. Maybe you could do some sort of incentive plan for the both of you. ???? Like a reward program of some sort....??? Hopefully, this was a little helpful! |
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I am a parent of a 17, soon to be 18, year old son who was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes 2 days after his 15th birthday (what a present!). We are constantly at each other about how he's controlling, or lack of, his diabetes. He will be going off to college next year and it's just not sinking in that he needs to check his blood sugars more than he does now. When I'm working a 12 hour shift and I come home to check his meter to see his bs it shows he's only check it once and that would be in the morning before I left for work and that would be 13 hours ago! He's will get very angry towards me when I confront him on it and we go back and forth. He even says that he hates me. I understand that he is frustrated but to hear those words, it's starting to get to me. Today I had to have my husband take him to his 3 month doctors appointment because I also made an appointment for him to see a counselor there and I hate to say it but I didn't want to hear the nonsence on the ride home. I have stepped out of the box, so to say. I hope this is something he needed so he can vent to someone outside the family. Liz |
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I can only imagine how you feel. I have never been able to have children...but I well remember how monstrous I was to my parents when I was an adolescent with diabetes. VERY rebellious. And you are right to be concerned. After years of self-destructive, non-compliant behavior, I have a host of complications. You know what they say: hindsight is 20/20! I wish I had listened. I wish we had support groups in those days many years ago. We didn't even have blood glucose monitoring back then...just urine in test tubes with Clini-tabs! UGH! I rather doubt your son feels lucky to have these advances and advantages in treatment. I don't have a clue what would have made a difference to me way back then. Wish I did, because I still see teen who think they are smarter than the diabetes and every doctor on the planet. I hope you and your son have better luck, and that he gets wise fast! sheryl |
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clinitest tablets in a test tube and a glass syringes and a thick long steel needle that we used fore weeks!! The miracles I have seen are awesome!! |
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