Hi Ranona,I think from what I'm reading you are not taking care of yourself and your worried of when it will be that your body gives up. No can can say for sure when the effects of the damage you are doing to your body will happen but they will and THAT we know for sure.You will eaither loose your eye sight ( go blind) or a sore will pop up get infected ..woun't heal and the Dr will have to take off a leg, foot or hand. Or your kidneys will stop function. You will swell up become violently ill and die.Ranona we don't want this to happen to you or us eaither. You have to start taken care of yourself.Do the best you can. Don't eat that peice of candy or drink that coke. When you have that urge, throw it in the trash can..start drinking water..go for a walk anything to get your mind of that item you should not eat.
To me Ranona , you sound very depressed. Have you talked to your Dr about that ? there is medicines that can help with that.I take Paxil which is for despression and I would be lost with out that medicine.Ranona I hope you get to feel better hon.
MaryB