The regular members know my story, the newbies won't so I will summarize a bit. There are old posts back in January somewhere and onward about it all. My son was 18 and moved out into his friends family home across the golfcourse in January because he dind't want to listen to me and wanted all freedom, etc. and he has lots of issues besides, went off medication for ADHD, Fetal Alcohol Effects from his birth mom pathological liar etc. He joined the Marines then told me, went into BootCamp in July. We have been communicating before he left but it was for the most part very hard on me.
I had been receiving lots of letters from him and I was writing all the time. When I returned from Missouri I had 4 letters of his waiting for me. They all were very puzzling to me and all had questions around his Marine graduation. He first changed the dates on his graduation which I quickly made a call and found out he was wrong, no date changes for it. Then he kept saying I didn't have to attend because he knows its at the same time I go to Orlando each year for my other sons Taekwondo and vacation. He also kept mentioning that he wasn't sure if the "other family" was coming or not for sure but they might. With all else he wrote I felt he was hinting for me not to come. The other main issue for me was wondering if the parents of his friend he lived with would be attending. I would not want to share that day with them nor see them or ever speak to them based on many things I know regarding them. My son knows how much I am hurt by them and the entire situation of his living there. He always put them ahead of his Dad and me, purposely trying to hurt us, after he moved out. But, I left it all in the air for the time being since he left for BootCamp. I started reading about the graduation online and started feeling such pride for him to be able to accomplish this goal in his life. I love my son very much. I thought about how I could go to Orlando, fly out on the days I needed and return to Orlando not missing either of my sons special days. I have been so torn between going to the graduation not knowing if the other family would attend or not. I do know that after the graduation he would return to Illinois to their home to see them and his friends and he never mentioned he would come to see me in Missouri if I have moved by then, no plans for it. So what I would be doing would be flying in to see him graduate and if the other family was there he would fly home home with them, something I could not mentally handle with all the past history.
My suspicions were confirmed a week ago Sunday morning when the phone rang. It was my son and he had a 2 minute phone call. He wanted to know if I was coming to graduation or not. I asked him if the other family was coming and he said YES. I asked him if he would ask them not to attend so his Dad and I would be comfortable coming, he said NO. I asked him if he wanted the other family there that bad and he said YES. I told him I would write him a letter over it and not waste the seconds we had left on the phone. He told me he wanted us there to.
Its hard to post every detail online here but I must admit I am extremely hurt by all of this. I cannot go to his graduation knowing they will be there and he will leave with them like he's their son, not mine. Its such a slap in the face along with the history I have of my son. To know he only called me to ask if I was coming then to say he won't tell them not to come really hurt me.
I wrote him a letter and let me tell you this was a letter from my heart leaving nothing out, reminding him of the latest things he has done to me that we never discussed. One of the main things is when I found out he lied to me saying the Recruitter had to drive him to the hotel the night he left for BootCamp and I could not, only to find out he had a party by that family and THEY took him to the hotel 3 hours after he told me he was gone and 3 of his friends went to. I was told to always write upbeat letters to my son to keep his spirits up but I've had it. He is still crapping and lying to me from BootCamp and now I wrote him I felt. Like my sister said, "its only BOOTCAMP, not Iraq."
I have thought and thought over everything in my life with this kid. My dh says he definitely will not go to the graduation if the other family is there and feels I shouldn't go because I would be to hurt tremendously but this time facing them. Something I would be so proud to go and watch will not happen. I cannot go through that.
I vented long and windy here, sorry. I am waiting for him to respond to my letter I sent out last week. We will see how he responds now.
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THATS ME. IM SORRY, BUT NO ONE MESSES WITH MY KIDS. ASK SOME OF HIS TEACHERS !!! 
YOU HANG IN THER LADY. 
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