Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,

            smell one another?

 

            Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or

            is it still the same old story?

 

            Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the

            cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,

            but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar

            riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to

            rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?

 

            Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no

            human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

 

            Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions,

            hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,

            electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What

            do humans understand?

 

            Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

 

            Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I

            have to apologize?

 

            Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I

            must remember to be a good dog.

 

            01. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after

            they throw it up.

 

            02. I will not roll on dead fish, deer & rabbit poop, etc.,

            just because I like the way they smell.

 

            03. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

 

            04. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

 

            05. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

 

            06. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's

            on the toilet.

 

            07. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable

            way of saying "hello".

 

            08. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under

            the coffee table.

 

            09. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering

            the house - not after.

 

            10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my

            butt.

 

            11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my

            crotch.

 

            12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and

            he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

 

            P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles

            back?