The short answer to all of those questions is...

 

Because we are human...

 

There is something I read somewhere about how we fall in love with the quirks we see in someone and then we grow to hate them because of their quirkiness...

 

Personally I think we all have a fantasy in our heads of what we want love to be or mean, who we want our lover to be... sometimes we try to turn the one that loves us into the one we want them to be as opposed to who they really are... and disappointment comes when they aren't who we wanted them to be... and if we turn out not to be who they wanted... it becomes an issue of intolerance of things on both sides and that can lead to intense dislike and distrust... and then comes hate... and vengeance...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think a lot of pre marital counseling would cut down on that . Couples should go for at least 1 year before and maybe in that time they will be able to see if they are truely a good match . I have seen marraiges that are truely happy and even after 30 years they are still in love, alas i didnt have that luck  but i have now learned marraige is just not my cup of tea

AS FOR ME, I HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS. Unfortunatly, I'm the only one disappointed when he dosen't live up to my expectation.  I'm trying to change, relax and renew.

My gf once told me that love & hate are close feelings. She said you say you hate someone but do you really. She had to take a course for nursing & the teacher said it better.

At first I hated my ex then realized I was wasting my time. I had kids to take care of. Now I just get mad at myself for being so gulible.

good question. always seems to turn from love to hate at some point doesnt it?

me and my   ex  and i are still friends.

 how is a great mystery.. cuz there are certain things i just cant forgive. and i can forgive just about anything. found out he did some really bad bad bad things to his daughter from his 1st marriage.

    my roomie  found an email i sent my ex and said some aweful things to me.

was furious with me. saying i betrayed him and stuff, and i would pay for it.  he would never ever physically hurt me. so i dunno...maybe he was  just venting.

  hes married...but has been  separated for years., and they get along. fine. probly cuz they live so far away from each other.

we are just roomies, so i dont get it.  i know we're close friends, but maybe he thinks its more...

  so with all that in mind, i think maybe it turns from love to hate cuz of our emotions.what i mean  is...when we get bruised emotionally ...the hate part seems to be a  way to protect ourselves from further pain.

  in the case of my ex, the hate i feel is isnt becuz i dont care about him, but becuz of his henious thing he did with his daughter.

   so becuz we hate does it mean we stopped loving the person?

i dont think so... i think we just shifted the love to somewhere else, and its still there.

gsees

 

  

 

 

 

I don't hate, anyone.  Yes my ex did make me extremely angry but hate him?  Nope.  I don't LIKE him, don't like the type of person he is, the person he has become since retiring from the Air Force.  IF we were to be introduced today as a possible "match" I wouldn't give him much more than the time of day.  He is just not a person I want to associate with.  Besides I have found that hate is a wasted emotion.  It eats the Hater from the inside out, while the hatee doesn't care.