Roz has been transferred closer to home and is in the hospital near by.  She will eventually be moved to the Skilled Care & Extended Care floors.  I have been going to see her every other day.  I wish I could go more often.  But life continues in our family and she knows how hard it is for me to come sometimes due to expense.  She is in a very depressed state.  Unhappy about the feeding tube and where this disease has lead her to at the young age of almost 51.  I asked her the last visit if she ever tells her mother how she really feels and she whispers, "I talk, she doesn't listen."  She can only whisper, the ventilator damaged the vocal cord muscles as well.  MS/MD are horrible debilating diseases and it is so sad that one person should be attacked by both.  Still has trouble with her oxygen level.  I make a point to change her nail color every week.  I bought her a matching ring to mine.  It is a sterling silver & gold one with a simple cross on it.  I bought the smallest one available and we put it on her right hand, middle finger.  That was the only one that the knuckle would keep it one.  She has become so frail and small.  I wear mine on my thumb.  When I would hold her hand in the ICU she would hold mine back and just twist the ring around and around.  I had asked her if she liked it and she had nodded yes, so I surprised by ordering her one.  Now she shows everyone her painted finger nails and her ring and points at our picture I took to leave in her room.  The roses are blooming at my house and I take fresh cuttings everytime I go.  It perks her up some, but not much.  She is so afraid that she is going to end up in a nursing home and never come home again.  Which is a very likely thing.  I tried to help her mom see what she was doing, but it didn't work and I know I need to be there for both of them.  I asked Roz if she ever gets to visit with her brother "alone" when he comes to see her.  (He lives 5hrs away and works away from home all week as well.)  I asked her if she would like me to arrange it to be there the next time he comes and take her mom out for a walk or to get some coffee or soda so she can spend time alone with him and she can tell him her wishes.  She has definitely decided against the trach if that becomes a larger issue and her mom will not take that very well.  Her brother is due to be back on Sunday.  She is my best friend and yet I feel so helpless.  This seems like the only real help I can give her.  A chance to visit with her brother w/out her mother's presence.  Please continue to pray for her.  She is such a beautiful person trapped inside of a useless body.  May God grant her the peace she is seeking, whether it be to continue here on earth a while longer or to let her peacefully glide home to His Kingdom.  This may be an issue He is working on with her mom & brother before He lets that happen.  Maybe He is trying to help her mom see what she refuses to see.  We don't know.  So, I continue to pray & love her as I have in these past weeks and years.  It sometimes just doesn't seem fair.  I have an incurrable cancer and yet I get to live a relatively normal life and she has an incurrable disease x's 2 and she becomes a complete invalid.  I think we are all learning lessons.

Thank you to all of you.  Never take things for granted.  I challenge you to discover at least 3 blessings in each day and before you know it, you will be counting 100's a day.  Love, Doe