Well, a lot has happened since I last updated you.  There was a two week period that I couldn't see Roz, only talk to her mom or one of our other close friends to keep me updated.  She doesn't like to talk on the phone because it is so hard for her to talk loud enough. 

 

I got to spend about an hour & a half with her last Wednesday. When she hugged me, I thought she would never let go.  She was feeling blue.  I redid her nail polish.  This time she chose light frosted pink.  Said she wanted to taste a steak, baked potato, salad and one of my cheesecakes.  She also told me that they came in the night before to feed her at 9pm and she wouldn't let them.  Somehow, if I understood her, they had forgotten to feed her earlier and she said no.  (She doesn't have control of her bowl muscles anymore and so she didn't want to have a mess in the night.)  She told me that the doctor was going to try and let her go home, today.  Said how she missed being able to go out doors.  So that was when I took the opportunity to ask if we could hold a fundraiser to help get her & her mom a van.  I knew someone who would convert it to handicap accessable for free for her.  She flat out refused to have anything to do with a fund raiser.  So then I said, what if someone gave it to her anonymously.  She gave me her famous look and said she would know I had something to do with it.  I said, "So". She misses going out of doors and now she is stuck like this.  I told her if we could at least get her a van, we could get out for a couple hours at a time in the week.  Besides she has never seen our home since we moved and we are putting a ramp on the porch to help my husband with getting up & down the stairs. She said she would like that.  Then I said it was all the more reason to find a van so that "The Girls" could take her "Joy Riding". Even if it was to just cruise the mall or around town so she could see the changes in her home town, alone.  Just to be able to get out would help her to have somewhat of a normal life and that it would be easier on her mom to get her around without always having to depend on someone coming in to help load her up in a car and out of it.  That takes a toll on a person.  She said she would think about it some more.  I hope she will say yes.  I told her life goes on and we have to make adjustments.  For some reason, God allowed the feeding tube to happen.  I told her maybe it was to teach us all a new lesson or even maybe one she hadn't realized yet.  Then I gave her the whole schpeal about my sister Jackie's shennaningans and what she did and how angry I am/was with her.  Jackie had tried to end her life.  I told Jackie that she had no right to do such a thing.  I have to battle my disease every day and gave Roz as an example, too.  If anyone had the right, not that they do, it would be Roz, not her nor I. We can still live a somewhat normal life, only we have drugs to help us continue that normal life.  There isn't a medicine that can do that for Roz.  She will be confined to a bed & wheelchair for the rest of her life.  She will never be able to taste or drink food & beverages ever again.  Someone has to bath her, change her diapers and inject a nutritional liquid into her stomach through a tube.  (Basically baby formula)  Thank God she can't taste it.  I told Roz that and she laughed for the first time since I got there.  Anyway, I told her I go to the Pyschologist & Pyschiatrist appointments with her today.  So, I have to call when I get back to see if the doctor is really letting her try to come home today.  If she is, I need to get busy and get a banner ready for her to welcome her home and get the girls together for a celebration of some sort that won't make her feel uncomfortable, only glad to spend time with us.  We usually plan food & drinks, not quite sure how to plan this one.  I would never do anything to make her feel left out.  This is going to be the trying part for her.  They just closed her door at the hospital, but now she will be in the same house that her mom will cook for herself and Roz will smell the smells of foods she wants to eat.  I'll get a picture of her and I and you can see us together.  Thanks for asking about her.  I love her so much!