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| | | From: Dilly (Original Message) | Sent: 11/19/2004 8:23 PM |
The Relationship between Husband & Wife My View of it. My husband and I were talking this morning as we do most every morning. Our convesation is about the things that happened yesterday, the children and his mom. As we were talking it dawned on me what a great relationship we have together. I started to wonder why that was. Here is what conclusion that I came to. It all comes down to one word. "COMMUNICATION" We always from the day we met have been able to talk anything through. We share everything, don't keep secrets and we don't go to bed mad at each other. I think this is why there are so many problems in married peoples lives, in that they don't talk to each other. "Communicate" that is the key to a happy marriage or any other relationship. Talking things through not just the bad but the good too. If you can't talk to each other who can you talk to. You need each other to stand strong against those who would come between and things that would get out of hand if you didn't talk it through. All things should be talked about, finaces, the kids, parents ,friends and your feelings his feelings to come to some conclusion and learn if you can reach a compromise. Marriage is a give and take and if you can't talk "Communicate" you will not be happy. Not accusing each other and putting the other down. But a quiet conversation of all the ins and outs of the problem at hand. It works and you can usually come up with both of you thinking the same. Some times you just have to agree to disagree and that's ok too just as long as you have talked it through. It's a good way to go to making a strong and happy marriage. Sorry this is so long but just had to share with you my thoughts on this subject. Try it you will be surprised at how it works. Dilly |
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HERE! HERE! Dilly, you are on the right track. I can attest to 41 years of marriage (to the same ol' guy) and it all boils down to communication. On every subject. I think back and any time there has been a waver in my matrimonial road, it always goes back to a break down of communication. Three cheers for you and for taking the time to post this. |
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| | From:  jrzlady | Sent: 11/19/2004 10:40 PM |
| I agree with you about communication being very important but I also feel it is very important to share a meal with your husband. So many households are so busy with outside activites that everyone eats on the run. It is important to sit down together and talk over your day .It is important to make time for each other. |
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You hit it right on the head, Dilly. If you have that....then the other things don't matter. There are no rights and wrongs...what is right and wrong...may vary from couple to couple. But what is crucial...is that the communication is there. Also I think so many people are so caught up in the me me me thing.....he doesn't make MEEEEEEEE happy......she doesn't do this...she doesn't do that...for MEEEEEEEE.......well I find that usually people that are full of complaints about their mate...probably aren't happy with themselves deep down, either. Well said ! |
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How kind and sweet of you to pass this on Dilly. I totally agree with you. I had such a bad first marriage, so did Steve and we wanted more this time. We were good friends before we dated then things grew closer. Before we got married we discussed everything possible and never had a issue of communicating. Steve knows me so well and I him that we never even fight. He knows if I "am right" to let me be right. LOL! We never ever go to bed mad, NEVER. Never have in the entire 23 years plus that we have been married. Communication is the main ingredient. |
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| | (1 recommendation so far) | Message 6 of 9 in Discussion |
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Angel, I didn't know you were married before. I've noticed a pattern on this board, there are lots of ladies that have been married before....so, I would say you're a pretty brave group. How did you all meet your second husbands? I've heard its so bad out there that I'm pretty much resigned that I'll be alone the rest of my life. |
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I got married right after highschool at 18. (to young) I remained married almost 6 years. I married my present husband when I was 27. I was dating this Dr. I was doing some temporary work for. He invited me to a party at his place and there sat Steve. Steve was his good friend and I really like him the minute our eyes met. We exchanged phone numbers that same night and the rest is history. LOL!!! In this decade the dating trend for older ones remarrying is the internet services. We have someone on here that met their husband that way and, it might be Becca, not sure though. I have a friend who lives in New York who is 47 and using the online dating. Grandma-Liz on Divas here is using a dating service to now. You've probably heard of them. Be smart if you use them and Liz can give you better advice I'm sure. Always meet in a public place, etc. in the beginning. There are lots of places but the one I hear most often is below. Do you have any divorced/singles places to go for social thngs around you? A meaningful friend you trust to set up a date? Someone from work? Always be on the lookout and very nice like you're avaliable but in a classy way. you never know where you can meet someone. MOSTHUMBLE goes to clubs I believe for the most part or the internet, right Carol? |
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| | | From: DarcAnn | Sent: 12/18/2004 8:39 PM |
Kindapristine, I married my 1rst husband at 29 and neither one of us were ready for marriage. I was on my own for 10 years when I married my 2nd husband. I moved to Arizona 5 years ago to be closer to a good friend of mine -we thought of each other as brother and sister. He started dating this young lady and 4 months later her older brother moved here..........we met and became friends. After being friends for 8 months, we started dating and were married not quite 5 months later. What's interesting is my friend married my husband's youngest sister 2 months after we were married. So my good friend is now my brother in law! We often tease each other about who would have thought all those years ago when we met that we would have married into the same family?  Darc |
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Hi kinapristine1: I'm new to this group but I had to answer your message about finding second husbands. I see you live in Illinois - so do I. I met my second husband through Great Expectations - it required a video, profile, pictures. It was fairly expensive. I was in my mid 40s. I signed up for one year. I met a lot of nice men, because most men don't want to spend money if they only want a "one-night stand". In the 10th month of my membership, I met my current husband. He had been in the dating service for over years. We met, and the rest is history. We both have 3 daughters each, and have a lot in common. We've been happily married for 7 years, now. Love is better the second time around. There were hundreds of men to choose from - mostly in their 30s to 50s. I think the dating service is better for men than women, but the entire service is very safe and confidential. If you want to know more or have any questions, please ask. Skyqueen1950  |
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