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| | | From: Rubi (Original Message) | Sent: 1/31/2006 3:40 AM |
I'm new to this board so I haven't really told a lot about myself yet. I joined because I feel the need to have women to talk to. Recently, Dec 3, I moved out of the home I shared with a man I have been in a relationship with since March of 1997. I left because he was dishonest with me throughout our relationship. No he did not cheat on me, he is just one of those people who needed to make up stories about himself so he would look different than he really is. I didn't know because his stories were always consistant. Its a long story how I found out he is nothing but a liar and a manipulator and I have no need to go into the details. What I wanted to share was that I stopped by to pick up some things I had left by mistake. We haven't spoken in a couple weeks because it hurts both of us everytime we do. I figured we could survive some small talk. How ya doing that sort of thing. After a bit of chit chat he mentioned that he had gone on an outing with a group that we had belonged to that had been planned since way before I left. So I ask how was it? He said it was fun but he left early because he had a date. Of course I asked for details which he freely gave me saying that he met her at a local S&M club that he had been curious about for ever. We have friends that go there but we never did anything like that together. Our friends invited him to attend. I haven't seen these friends since way before I left nor have I had any contact with them. The woman is actually the one who introduced us in the first place. I did great and did not break down when he told me about his new friend which I think surprised him. He got all teary eyed. Of course when I got home I called my best friend and cried to her. It is good to be rid of him but the shock of being replaced in less than 2 months kinda stings. Ouch Ouch Ouch!!! |
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Rubi- I hope each day gets easier for you, talk to us anytime. Carmen- I am still laughing over your comments, GOOD FOR YOU!!!! And the camera?? Serves him right! LOL!!!!! |
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Rubi, so sorry for your pain. Even if you want to split it is still hard. Learning of or seeing them with someone else would be hard. I have been divorced some time and it would still hurt if I heard something like you did. You handled it so well. |
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I had an ex bf like that. He told me about the new one, then says I shouldn't have broken up. I guess it makes them feel better to blame you. Things do get easier as time passes. bonnie |
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| | | From: lilbird | Sent: 2/2/2006 1:11 AM |
ok Im not even going to go there because I just ended a relationship that still hurts and will hurt forever.  |
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| | | From: Rubi | Sent: 2/2/2006 3:36 AM |
((((((((((lilbird)))))))))) |
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| | From:  jacki3 | Sent: 2/2/2006 12:52 PM |
i also had an ex-husband that got some women pregnant, and lived w/ her for 6 months b4 he told me he wanted a divorce..he lived downstate during the week...his job...i didn't have a clue..that was a long time ago...and as i look back...that was the best thing that ever happened...glad 2 b rid of that albatrose...now i have larry and he is a wonderful man... after i thru the other one out...i got on the personal online...i had a ball..met all kinds of men...nice ones and jerks...was goin out every nite for dinner, dancing...if they r jerks, get the free meal...tell em 2 blow...i even had one guy come here all the way from england..he was a jerk, couldn't wait for him 2 blow... |
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| | | From: Rubi | Sent: 2/2/2006 1:58 PM |
My ex is still married. I knew about it. His story was that they hated each other and stayed together only for the kids and she had a boyfriend. Five years after we met he finally moved out of her home and we got a place together. He kept us apart by saying horrid things about us to each other. One day this last summer she came over to our house to show off her new car. She had been in an accident where some guy did an illegal left in front of her. The kids got out of the car and gave me a hug so I figure what the hell and I give her a hug too, after all the only things I know about her are what he told me and I felt she didn't deserve me making an opinion based on not knowing her. She and I started emailing and after a bit finally started comparing stories. What an eye opener for both of us. She never had a boyfriend even to this day. God I felt horrible. She and I are friends now and we both despise him. |
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Rubi- Thanks for sharing with us. I'm glad you spoke to this woman back then and found the truth out. |
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Oh my god, talk about lies. My first husband lied about his age, told me he was 18 when he was just 17. I was pregnant and just turned 18. As the pastor was talking to me before our quickly planned small wedding, he asked me my husband to be's birth date and I told him. And he said no, he is only 17. And I said to him, well I should know his birthdate, after all I will be his wife after today. Imagine how shocked I was that I didn't even know his real age. I felt like such a fool and yes, the lying never stopped. I had a miscarriage within a week of our wedding and we didn't last but a year. Thank goodness. |
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 Rubi- How are you doing now? Have things gotten easier for you? |
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Hi Rubi, i am sorry you had such a hard knock!!! My ex was in fact living with another woman in another town telling me he was house sitting for friends.I blackmailed his best friend by telling him i was going to tell his wife he was always trying to cheat on her.He sang like a bird!!!!I found the house,walked up and rang the door bell,and he answered.The look on his face still makes me laugh 20 years later.I told him to come to MY house that nifgt and take all his stuff or i would put it in the middle of the lawn and burn it.Non the less he picked up his stuff and i headed for a lawyer.Don't blame yourself hun,most of us have met guys like you ex.You deserve better and some day you will find it.I waited for 15 years before i got remarried to my prince charming.We are here for you anytime you need us.Big Hugs,Diane |
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| | | From: Rubi | Sent: 4/7/2006 2:32 AM |
I guess I'm doing alright. I come home after work and do nothing. Can't afford to go do stuff so I chill at home. He is already on gf #2. jeeez its only been 4 months. I always used to tell him that if we ever broke up he would just find himself someone else. He always replied that I was the only one he ever wanted and that he would never be with anyone else. I finally made myself a profile on eHarmony this past Saturday. They've sent me a number of matches but none of them has responed to me yet or initiated any communication. sigh!!! I'm not really ready to date yet but it sure would be nice to find someone to hang with. This is the picture I posted. I can't understand why no one wants me. Do I not look like I would be a lot of fun? As you can see I'm not really a girly girl so I think its gonna be difficult. Oh well, at least I'm making an effort. |
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| | | From: jacki3 | Sent: 4/7/2006 2:10 PM |
hang in there rubi...you'll get lots of responses...sometimes it takes awhile..don't get discouraged...like i said on any early post..after i thru mine out for cheating, i got on the personals and i had a ball...dating...out for drinks...i was out every nite of the week just about..i even had 1 jerk come all the way from england, (that's another story)...also met 1 man...still think about him...but it would have never worked out...but i'll never had such passion b4 or since...then i met larry who i live w/ now... just b careful on the personals...there r jerks out there...looking for a free u know what...u can usually tell...and the blowhards, of course...make sure u meet in a public place...if he's a jerk, get a free meal, and blow... good luck!!! |
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| | | From: CC20010 | Sent: 4/7/2006 3:24 PM |
Don't sweat it, Rubi! I'm sure Mr.Right is out there somewhere.As for being a "Girly Girl"; they're usually the ones who get pushed around by a guy.I'm not very "Girly" myself.Hmm! Maybe that's why I never did much dating in school.BTW,looks like you'd be a GAS to be with.Be patient |
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