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| | From:  charlee519 (Original Message) | Sent: 12/16/2006 9:31 PM |
I swear, dh is in the process of commiting suicide by eating himself to death! We're talking about a man who is just short of 6' and weighs in at almost 260 lbs! The Friday after Thanksgiving, he had another heart cath done and had 2 more stents put in (this makes for about 9 or 10 so far). The doctor increased his blood pressure medicine and his cholestrol medicine, which brings him up to 9 pills a day, not to mention the additional expense each month. I'm so upset with him because he will not help himself. What's the point of me trying to avoid having treats in the house and shopping for low fat, low cholestrol foods? Heck, it's a lot cheaper if I just buy TV dinners and feed him burgers and fries from the local drive-thrus! His clothes are starting to get snug again (he's already in XXL) and instead of trying to cut back or, heaven-forbid, get a little exercise, he went out and bought 2 more pairs of jeans in a larger size. For pity sake, his slippers won't even fit him anymore because his feet are getting fatter. Both his heart doctor and our primary physician have told him repeatedly that he needs to lose weight, but he keeps saying he'll start his diet next week. Of course, next week never seems to get here. I finally told him that if his doctor says he needs more stents, he's not getting them. The doctor can just save them for someone who's interested in helping himself get better. I also suggested that perhaps he should just skip taking all the meds. I could make a nice new car payment on the amount we spend every month just for his prescriptions alone! ARG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (phew...that felt good). |
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I wish I could offer a solution. I don't have one because I can't control my own weight. Oh, sure, I know how. I've done it many times. Last year I was an acceptable 134. Now I am up to151 and hating it but unable to control the overeating. It is an illness/addiction as hard to break as Heroin /cigarettes or any other self destructive behaviour. Is he a candidate for stomach banding? |
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Sister I know where you are coming from as my dh, a diabetic, has had an MI and STILL smokes and eats like there is no tomorrow. After eight-years I just gave up harping because the only thing it does is aggravate both of you. There is a good chance your dh's eating is masking a symptom of depression. Has he been screened? If not you might want to talk to his doctor about this. Until then just remember, you are his partner, not his mother. Easier said than done but there really is nothing you can do for him, he has to do this himself. Blessings, Bernadette |
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I don;t really know much about the stomach banding, but I'm poistive he would not be willing to undergo surgery for his weight. Heck, if he doesn't eat right now, he would just push it and gain the weight back anyway. He's already on medicine for depression (been on it for some time now). He was impossible to live with after his 2nd heart cath and our doctor finally gave him meds that seem to help. His biggest problem is he wants an easy answer (don't we all?). He has no motivation whatsoever but is very quick to criticize others. I know he loves food and I believe that it is an addiction for him as well as a pacifier. I just have a hard time understanding why he won;t do anything to take care of himself. I purposely try to take care of myself so as not to be a burden to anyone as I get older! |
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I remember John Travolta saying he could never curb his eating so he made up for it by working out. Maybe you could start out slow with short walks and work up to fast paced walking as you get more energy. I say you as I am assuming you will go with him to keep him motivated. |
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The difference, as I see it, is that Travolta wanted to solve the problem and was willing to try. Dh will not get off the couch for anything other than a trip to the kitchen. I've tried almost every day to get him to take a walk with me and the dog, but he refuses. There's always something on TV that he needs to see. If I offer to wait until the program is over, he tells me to just go. We have a treadmill with a TV in front of it and he won't use that either. The only physical exercise he's willing to get is to go shopping only if it means we can eat out. Today, alone, he had breakfast and the equivalent of 3 lunches, the last one being around 3:00 (he ate an entire frozen pizza). At 5:00 he was asking me what's for dinner! |
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Well it is time to pull out the big guns, then......... a pair of 38's ,,,,,,,, wrapped in a flimsy negligee....... if that doesn't work feel for a pulse. |
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Oh, woman you are so funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Heck, I was wrapping gifts and missed this. Joan you are a hoot! LOL!!! Charlee- I'm so sorry he's being so stubborn and stupid about his own health. Dang, is he trying to kill himself? He needs to see maybe a good nutritionists, can the dr. recommend one? Alot of times insurance pays for this. If having more stents put in didn't scare him then I don't know what will. It sounds like he doesn't care. Has he been checked for diabetis? Could his medication be causing his appetite to increase? |
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The LAP-BAND® System Solution |
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He sees a nutritionist every time he has a procedure done, but he's just not willing to give up the foods he likes. In his mind, he's on cholestrol medication as well as blood pressure meds, so he thinks that if he cheats, the meds will just take care of it. Kind of like some diabetics who think that as long as they get their insulin, they can eat whatever they want. Speaking of which, he is not diabetic. I don't believe his meds are giving him any appetite, because he eats even when he's not hungry. I know a lot of it is caused by boredom, but I've been around that block many times before with him. There are endless things he can be doing. He's got all kinds of power tools and guy toys, but he never wants to do anyting other than sit in his recliner and vegetate in front of the TV. I'm the type of person who has to stay busy and while I putter around the house, he complains how boring his life is and it always gets blamed on me. Excuse me for finding it necessary to do laundry, cook, shop, clean, etc. I've told him before it would really be nice if he would help out even just a little bit, At least the dog will bring me his dirty socks to put in the hamper. It's too much effort for him to do it himself! Thank goodness the dog appreciates smelly things... |
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If this one doesn't work , anyone interested can GOOGLE it |
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The lap band sounds decent, less invasive than most surgical procedures. |
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Out of curiousity, have you thought about buying a TIVO or a DVD recorder so that he has no excuse to stay on the couch watching something that he is interested in? A friend of mine had her stomach stapled in August. It is now December and she has lost quite a bit of weight. adair |
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