Popcorn and Koolaid for snacks.   Hide everything else!

Serve dinner such as spaghetti  and salad, then when everyone has a share, that's it. 

Limit overnite stays to 1 nite. Popcorn or pretzels are good snacks. I buy iced tea mix, store brand, for the "boys". I can't imagine a kid eating that much. Girls want to diet so thay wont eat as much.

Oh Gena...please don't send him to my house....smile*  I budget so much each week for groceries too, so I can understand.    We had so much company over the Christmas holidays (which I loved every minute of).....but I had never spent so much on groceries.  I relate to your posting because when my girls were teenagers, we always had a full house of kids over and I think they all came hungry and there were a few that came Friday night and stayed till I finally took them home Sunday evening.

 

All the snacks posted sound like economical one's.....and I think you are correct in taking him home before dinner if need be and just explain to your son in advance that it's affecting what you have to feed the family.  Kids understand and you can tell him, when his friends eat all the snacks you buy for them, then there won't be anything for him. 

 

There might be some way (just guessing here) that you could bring up...."hey boys, it would be great if you could bring some snacks with you when you come over and then we'll add snacks and then all of you can have all different kinds."  

 

 Awww...hugs....know you love all the kids....and will have a great summer!  Oh yes...just thought....jello is a good snack too.

 

Hugs!

I don't know if there is a graceful way or not other than the truth. I would talk to your son. Like someone else mentioned explain how it is and this can't continue although you're fine with him coming over. When its dinner time tell him he can come back after dinner. If you don't control it now it will only get worse and the friend will think its OK. The amount of food you mentined he ate in one sitting is just plain rude. A snack here or there is OK but very limited and maybe they should be asking you before eating something. He needs to understand your refrigerator is yours not his. LOL!!  Good luck!

I like your suggestions, Babs. One needn't have children to have sensible approaches to problems.

 

 

 

Chuckle... well... thanks guys... glad you like what I have to say...

 

Guess my initial feeling on this is that a kid that stays away from home a lot may very well just prefer the comfort in your home but I agree it is very odd that his parents keep letting him do it...

 

The eating your are describing sounds like an eating disorder and could be dangerous for the boy... that is why I thought maybe a discussion with them might be in order...

 

I don't think your idea of manners are wrong or antiquated at all... Good luck with it all Gena...

Oh by the way...this boy is about 5'11" and weighs about 150 or 160.  He grew about 6 inches last summer when he hit puberty, so I wonder if it has something to do with that! Definitely seems odd doesn't it? But believe me..he doesn't throw it up...not even the 13 bananas..didn't even get the tummy ache..I'd have thought a gorilla would get a belly ache. LOL  My teenaged boys have been able to eat, but never like this kid...so I guess you are never too old to see something new!  Now I just need to find some new hiding spots. LOL

 

 

HI Gena; everyone gave you such great ideas.   My middle sister is 7 years older than me, but  I can remember when she was dating her now husband in high school, he would eat what Mom had planned to pack in Dad's lunch the next day, so she had to tell my sister what was off limits in the frig!  Tell you son what is off limits and what isn't.

 

sending hugs, Josie.

Ohhhh Gena,

 

I know how you are feeling.  Our home has always been the "hang out" and still is, and we always had (and still have) extra people for many meals.  For many years, We had one neighbor boy for most all meals, and he spent most nights here...we considered him one of ours after a while, but he was polite and never took advantage.   There were always 3-4 of the boys friends here during the week, and more on the weekends.   The boys (and their wife and gf) always come by on the weekends for cookouts now.....and several of our "adopted" kids as well...on a regular basis.

 

But in all those years, we've only had one like you described.  This boy was absolutely obnoxious, but didn't realize he was.  He had a few issues, and was well indulged at home.  I remember one time especially he announced to us that he didn't eat vegetables, and he didn't eat (whatever our side dishes were) but he loved filled chicken breasts, and proceeded to pile 4 of them on his plate.....and I had only prepared to allow 2 per person (for the guys.)  He just didn't understand he was taking so much he was taking away from others.  (I guess they are used to the all you can eat buffets lol) We didn't say anything....because we were caught off guard....but made a point from then on in.....when he was here....WE fixed the plates and handed them out......cafeteria style.  But we had to be fast...or he'd beat us to the food....lol.  He would also help himself t anything he wanted....because he'd see some of the others doing it (but they didn't take advantage and he did.)  Often he'd handle food without washing his hands and always seemed to get his hands in the food, and I threw away food a few times because it grossed me out so bad.

 

One trick I did learn though...is they will more quickly help themselves to things that are out in the open and readily available.  I always had a big basket of fruit on my table, which I put away when he was around or else it would be instantly empty.  Thing was....this boy is the son of good friends of ours....so it was a lose-lose situation for us....to have to address....so basically we tried to prevent it as a means of control..and hoped time, maturity, and creative food management would improve things.   We also talked to our sons privately and they made an effort to control him as well.  Out of sight out of mind worked pretty well for us.    A good friend of mine told me once that boys are just "appetites with legs."  lol....I always remembered that.

 

Is this boy a very close friend of your son's.....or just a casual pal?  Does he have any particular issues that might affect his behavior and lack of control?  Or is it just bad behavior?  That would probably make a difference the ways you would need to control it.  I had to get creative....especially with weekend meals...as during all half decent weather we are outside eating at our picnic tables....so knowing there would be an extra mouth or two or three....I made a lot of budget stretching but tummy filling things....like I'd make a big roaster of baked mac and cheese...and throw hot dogs or hamburgers on the grill when I had a big bunch of kids.  I also bought a lot at Sam's Club...in bulk.  And most of the kids that were here....we encouraged to be here...because we figured if the kids were here...we always knew where our boys were...and what they were into...and it gave us a lot of control and we slept better at night (especially during those teenage years.)  

 

You know...you might be very right ...the things you are wondering.  I used to wonder the same things....(why do parents just casually permit their kids to be away for days at a time?  and why do kids want to be away from home so much?)  Your oldest son probably hit the nail on the head.  We are very relaxed about things here....and we actually had a couple kids from families much more well off than we are (we are pretty laid back and live pretty simply)....with big fancy expensive homes....tell us....they loved coming here...cause we didn't freak out if they forgot to take off their shoes...or sat on the wrong chair....or used the "good" dishes.  They said it was relaxed and they always felt welcome and comfortable. And with the case of the neighbor boy that we call ours....they had plenty of food at their home...and money was not in short supply....but there was constant tension and fighting between his parents that upset him.   Kids won't stay where they feel uncomfortable.  So I guess this speaks highly of you and your home  :-)

 

I probably myself would not speak to the parents....because it runs the risk of either the parents getting offended and not allowing the boy to come to your home or to spend time with your son any more......OR ...them talking to the boy about it...and risk that your son will get teased or made fun of because of it (kids can be such brats at times...lol.)  I would probably find avoidance the best control....and do things like tell your son timeframes when the overnight visitors can arrive....and where you've put away food planned for meals.... and what is available for them for snack times...(I just can't BELIEVE the amount of food this kid put away at your house...holy cow.....)  or find a good hiding place.  For instance, I never had 13 bananas at our place at once.....but if I did....I would put out maybe 4-5 of them in the fruit basket...and put the rest away in a cupboard.

 

I really do feel for you....because it's a hard situation amd obviously you have a very generous heart.....  Hopefully with the assistance of your son helping with enforcing the rules, maybe some creative food storage...things will get a little easier for you.  Obviously this boy....needs to learn some manners...and some control.

Thanks guys! I think you guys have the situation pretty well pegged! Penny that is exactly what the situation looks like here! This kid is my son's BEST friend and in all other areas delightful.  Just really HUNGRY I guess!  I spoke with my son today and he said he believes that the reason this boy wants to be at our house is because it is more relaxed. Jake says our rules make more sense and are about important things. I made certain that Jacob understood that I would tolerate No Nonsense again, as I was wondering about this whole rule thing. But after talking it became apparent that it is about trust and teaching kids at a young age to make the right choices. This is something I have worked on for many years. It helps this is my second set of kids as well. LOL  Jake has no idea why his friend eats so much, but he laughed and thought hiding the food was a good idea as well. LORI..I hadn't considered that this boy's parents might be glad to have a break from feeding him! I know I am glad to get a break from feeding him.LOL  Penny again, thanks for sharing the story of the boy who didn't eat vegetables and loved chicken breasts...this kid is just like our banana boy!!! We all just stare at him and he is also indulged at home! However, he isn't really obnoxious, so funny he keeps you rolling in the aisles!  So, I guess this is why food lockers were invented! Thanks for all the good advice and the laughs..I may tap on his leg to make sure it really isn't hollow....Gena