|
|
 |
|
Reply
| |
Bless his heart! He has always wanted more than he has and doesn't believe in waiting for anything. He jumps at things and thinks later which gets him into some trouble sometimes. He is 21 and has always lived with someone and paid minor rent payments there. Now he has it in his head he has to buy a house that is in foreclosure. It turns out he got a pre-approval for the home he has yet to go inside of. He told me all about it. He gave me the address to view it on the internet but I couldn't find it anywhere online. I called my friend the realtor to check it out for me and hoped JJ would use her because she would look out for his best interest. She found out the utilities have been turned off for 7 months and the buyer would be responsibile to have them turned on and also there was already a contract pending on it. A major issue was the utilities being off through the winter and all seasons. Once the water is turned on the pipes could burst then your talking about 15,000 in repairs or more. I told JJ the info I found out and he was upset I told him. He said I should have let him find out on his own. I tried to explain so many things to him about the responsibilities of being a homeowner but it goes out his other ear. His Dad tried and he doesn't listen to him either. Today he calls me and says he found another home he is going to look at tomorrow that cost $30,000 more than the other one that he barely got approved for. I am done giving advice out. I have tried but am so afraid he will get mixed in with those mortgages companies that approve anyone and he will end up losing his shirt. He said he will need help with the earnest money from his Dad and I because he has no money saved up. I told him NO, not a nickle. I said if you are in such a postion to buy a house and feel you have all the answers then you will do it all on your own. What is wrong with some kids today? I worry about him so much. He has come so far but does not make the best decisions. |
|
 First
Previous
2-16 of 16
Next
Last
|
Reply
| |
You were so right to tell him no. He needs to learn (even if it happens the hard way) that he can't always get what he wants. He needs to learn to live within his means. I wouldn't be surprised if he came to you to cosign on the loan because he can't get approved for a loan on his own. PLEASE DO NOT DO IT! My parents once cosigned for a car lone for my youngest half sister and she took off for parts "unknown" and never made a payment. Eventually creditors came after my parents because they couldn't find her or the car. They had to pay it all off and later found out that she had totaled the car in an accident 6 months after she drove it off the lot. My parents who didn't have the money to pay, wound up paying the car loan as well as beacoup interest and because my dad was totally stupid wound up getting sued by the other person in the accident because he co signed on the car! So please don't put yourself in that posistion. |
|
Reply
| | | From: Allears | Sent: 1/17/2008 11:43 PM |
Stick to your Guns on this one !!!! Banks are hurting badly do to all the foreclosures Also he still has to pay taxes also !!!! SO what he thinks he can afford and what he has to pay every month not including utilities is probably way over his head ! Let whomever he's talking to show him on paper what the monthly payment would be then maybe he will see the light when you add fuel electric gas etc on to it. ! |
|
Reply
| |
 JJ seems determined to learn everything the hard way. You did what any mother would do by investigating and trying to look out for his best interests. If he expects you to finance it in any way he should be expected to take your advice. You and Steve have a right make sure your money doesn't get pi***d into the wind!   |
|
Reply
| |
Thanks everyone. Colleen-He tried several times to get us to cosign for a car in the past and we said no. He is irresponsible and I would not do it for him. A few months ago he got a 2007 Nissan on his own finally. Allears- I tried to tell him that including the unexpected things that go wrong in a home but he feels he has the money. He doesn't........ Looney- We won't loan him money for the house. I have loaned him money in the past but smaller amounts then he would act like he shouldn't have to give it back to me.He told me he won't stop until he gets a house no matter. |
|
Reply
| |
Repossessed homes can be a good deal...but with the mortgage companies in "deep kimchee" right now, I would advise JJ to go into any deal with his eyes wide open and an open door to his back! I purchased a repo home when I was in Phoenix for quite a few thousand below the average costs for that area. I also bought a special insurance to cover such things as plumbing, wiring, appliances, etc. It came in handy considering that the heat pump went out just a few months after moving in. adair |
|
Reply
| |
Ah, Its tough being a parent. I would think he'd be happy you investigated and found out it was not in his best interests. You saved him alot of grief. Its hard to turn our backs and let them make their own mistakes. But a bad deal like that could have stuck with him for a long time. And once your in you can't get out. And yes these mortgage companies right now will do anything to have your business. We got a call from our broker a month ago and said we should refinance..he could get us in at the cheapest rate we've ever had with money back! We did and we were shocked because the rate was so low. So they are doing everything they can for business. I would hate to see him get sucked into the madness. I would suggest if he truly wants to go thru with this he should have a lawyer represent him every step of the way. Hugs, Karen |
|
Reply
| | | From: jewel | Sent: 1/18/2008 1:22 PM |
| I hope he can get what he wants for an affordable price |
|
Reply
| |
His comments get crazier and the house he is looking at now is more expensive like I mentioned above. He put an offer on a home for $203,000 tonight. He won't know for a week if the bank accepts it or not because its in foreclousure and takes longer for a decision. He claims he is preapproved for it already. I am worried sick about him considering he has no financial responsibility and not much to show for his earnings. His Dad tried to talk to him agian about the overrall responsibilities of being a homeowner but JJ "knows it all." so thats that. LOL! I hope he doesn't get taken advantage of. I asked him what will be the first thing he does if all goes his way. He said he will buy a pooltable. I said what about furniture, dishes, towels, toiletpaper? LOL! Agh......... |
|
Reply
| |
This is what I refer to as one of life's lessons. No matter how much we try to help our kids, they're going to hear their own drum. In a way, you have to give him credit for wanting to experience these things firsthand, even though you know what the outcome will be. Tough love is the hardest thing for a parent to deal with. He'll be OK, Wanda.  |
|
Reply
| |
best of luck with your grey hairs :) my son, the day before he got wed ,saw us [when dh was still alive] in the bank at the same time as he was. and asked us for a loan .yep in front of everyone . and us on the sickness benefit ! he wanted every penny we had. as he had none . some glitch over payments after new year from head office..well we reminded him of the loans he'd already had -over $4500 .00 :a lifetime of savings for us [and that wasnt much ] well he wanted $800-00 for the prebooked cars for the wedding and other stuff as hed agreed with his fiancee that hed go 1/2 . with all costs .of that expensive wedding - as it turned out that was the last loan he ever paid back . every day he was asked ,when was he paying it off ,so eventually- 3 weeks of stress and we got our money back BUT not the $4500-00 .our life savings were gone ,where . ? I dunno ... I sure could do with it now . he still reckons he's gonna pay that to me . as I've stipulated that when I go , his share will be deducted from that [which is a freehold flat ].I still havent got the monies for my funeral yet. but at least I have got the plot paid for . 1 step at a time I say .dont run before you can crawl. looks like we all have had some experience in sons and money .shame they wont listen to their parents and some of us have had it tough . Annie from -N.Z. |
|
Reply
| |
Charlee & CC- He will definitely find out on his own. Annie- I'm sorry your son did this. Stick with your guns and have it written in your will that the amount he borrowed plus interest will be taken from any share of monies he may receive when you are gone. My dh's Dad had to do that to. My dh's twin brother borrowed $9,000 and wouldn't pay it back so it was written into the will with interest for all the years added to it and that was taken from his share at the end. Hugs! |
|
Reply
| |
Just started thinking about this earlier today Angelbear............I can almost bet you that the mortgage company that JJ was preapproved with is looking at his VA home loan capability adair |
|
Reply
| |
Thanks for the info. He got his loan under "first time buyer loan." He would use the VA loan later in life he said. Besides, he doesn't even have his Honorable Discharge papers yet nor the last check they owe him. I sent him this link to have though, thank you. |
|
|
First
Previous
2-16 of 16
Next
Last
|
|
|
Free Forum Hosting
Important Announcement
Return to Venting
