How famously Gemini of you!

 

Perhaps in your case your body language is symbolised by your 1st house with the Sun and Venus being opposed to Neptune in the 7th. The Sun being your essence and Venus your attractiveness in corporeal form (1st house) and Neptune causing confusion so that your body language is somehow getting scrambled right from the get-go, exacerbated by shyness from Saturn in the 5th house (Leo can rule performances and things like dancing which I guess body language such as flirting cues could be seen as). Saturn in a chart is the thing you fear failing at the most so no great surprise that it's in the 5th house if you are afraid of opening up, showing people your heart.

 

Saturn conjunct to Mars here restricts your sponteneity in these matters and dampens your natural course of action. I have sometimes seen Saturn described as "perverse" as in it reverses things - as they say that Capricorn types seem to age backwards - so your actions are somehow the opposite of what you intend.

 

Oh and Saturn square Venus, another classic aspect for shyness and troubled relationships, though on the plus side it does make you serious.

 

You've yet to come up to your Saturn return but perhaps by the time it comes full circle in the next couple of years you will have mastered this and your Mars-Saturn conjunction will be a great resource to you in the future. I am sure I've read before that a lot of self-made people have this sort of aspect, once you've turned Saturn into mastery rather than limitation and fear you can accomplish a lot with that conjunction. Not just with regards to your love relationships but also other creative endeavours. Maybe this is why this is playing on your mind now as the time is right to fix it.

 

Pluto transiting opposite your sun can't be pleasant at all. I've mentioned before a few friends of mine with a luminary at that exact degree of gemini and and it's been a really unpleasant transit for all involved - OCD, anxiety, panic attacks, depression, loss of family members, lots of forced changes etc. From your 7th to your 1st is definitely shaking up how you relate to others but will blow these problems out the water in it's wake. Saturn transiting the 4th house is rather a self-doubting time (as the IC is your very foundation) but my 5th house Saturn transit was actually quite a pleasant time (but then I didn't have Saturn returning there) and I think a lot of your problems will have a good chance of being resolved then. Also Saturn will be transiting Jupiter, the ruler of your 7th house shortly before it gets to your 5th so it's going to be intense one way or another. Don't let any early difficulties deter you, you are inevitably evolving. Saturn shows where you will always apply hard work so we both know that you are capable.

 

Also - I wonder about your 7th house neptune so close to the cusp and your 11th house in Pisces. I have Neptune on the cusp of my 11th and I have to frequently assess my circle of "friends" to sort out the wheat from the chavs because I seem to attract so many flibbertigibbets and ne'er do wells and/or people who are very Neptunian in their charts.

 

When I was younger I'll admit I would be lazy about making friends though didn't have a problem doing so, they would come to me rather than me making the effort (the Sun in the 1st just naturally makes you stand out, whether you want to or not - and yours is quite close to your Asc with Venus so you are probably more noticeable than you think). I'll usually be the one to break the ice and make people laugh when I'm in a crowd of new people so that it's not awkward but I never thought that I'd be able to keep those I really admired interested in me, what did I have to offer them? The result of which is ending up with so many hangers-on, who would turn out to be fairweather flakes usually set to gain something out of our association whilst being completely unreliable (the typical negative Neptune side) and I guess that kind of thing can lead to wondering if that's the best that you are capable of or worth.

 

I wonder if this is part of your conundrum? 11th house connections are not so deeply felt as 7th house ones and with your T-squares through 1st, 5th and 7th it looks like a lot more damage has been caused to you by other people than I have cause to gripe about, certainly there is shyness and self-doubt in your equation.

You don't mean to do it but with Neptune on your Desc you've attracted fickle people who drift into your life and let you down over and over. Even if they didn't mean harm they somehow weren't in a position to be there for you when you needed them, (as you say a lot of your relationships have had insecurities on both sides) and certainly an emotional distance from your family could be seen with your moon looking rather lonely and inconjunct that 7th house Neptune arising in your early childhood years (3rd house) conditioning your pattern of relationships.

 

"What do I have to offer you?

 The offer is not empty

 the glass is so full

 I wish I could show you proof

 I know that you are a gift to me"

I'm not sure which will come first and lead to the other but once you've surpassed your shyness and fears you'll be able to attract the more positive and mature Neptune types and will see less of the ones that bring you trouble or vice versa. Maybe this has already been happening anyway, perhaps with age those types you come across will start to become more positive anyway as they have had a chance to evolve too.

 

Phew!