Oh Saturn is such a killjoy isn't he?! Wow, sounds like the anti-depressants affected you really badly. My mum reckoned that the Prozac made her start having panic attacks; she's always been the anxious sort so I don't know if the meds somehow  exacerbated that or what. Because I've tried St John's Wort in the past the Dr decided to try me on something else (Citalopram, which supposedly reduces syptoms of diabetic neuropathy too, which is a plus for me), don't know which they tried you on but maybe none of them would suit you then. I don't think I'd be willing to go back to tty more either if I'd had the emotional roller-coaster experience that it gave you, what a shame it didn't work out. I have noticed that I must be grinding my teeth at nights too recently, not good, but I haven't had any great highs and I'm used to lows so...

 

Cutting down on the booze could be a good idea in terms of your mood and health. I've found myself doing the same. (Not that I have the stamina or the inclination to drink till daylight anymore and then want to go dancing). It doesn't lift my mood anymore either, just makes me more tired, and I simply don't have the energy to spare. The hardest part is making the mental transition from being a binge drinker back to being unashamed to ask for the soft stuff occasionally and savouring the taste of a drink now and again. Breaking the habit was the hard part but it's surprising how my friends will join me in the soft option occasionally, as though they are secretly relieved they don't have to punish themselves with booze to be out too.

 

Yeah, Saturn contacting Mars does not a happy temper make. Having the opposition natally I spent a large part of my youth having to learn to conrtol my anger so you truly have my sypathy on that one, can't imagine I'd have the energy for a good fight nowadays though! Wish I'd done more skilled martial arts in my youth, maybe trying something like that would be good for you now? Saturn on Mars could be learning to rein in any anger and energy and turning it into something skilled and disciplined and the training might give you a handle on the fits of energy/anger that the transit brings. Also excercise is no doubt better for your mood overall than drugs. Hm, that's if you can afford the classes with the economy being the way it is right now and having job problems. Have you ever tried Yoga? There's no martial connection but it's still disciplining your energy, quite good for the mood and you can do it in your own home for free. Speaking of which I really ought to do something like that too, perhaps I should take my own advice for once.

 

The job market is so poor at the moment, The majority of employers seem to be asking for the moon on a stick for minimum pay, employees are really over a barrell and scared to lose what little they have. I accepted my new job because it's near enough that I can walk there in under half an hour (and the Dr does keep nagging me to do more exercise) and I'll get experience that will get me better paid jobs in the future, possibly even in the same company as they've hired me with a view of taking over from a co-worker there when she retires. The pay is fairly low, though more than they quoted at the interview, which is surprising. They were so embarrassed of how low the pay was that they couldn't even say it out loud, they wrote it down and pointed at it while blushing. But I'm glad to be there, it's a very small office (a small, private company) so it's quite friendly and I'd only have to spend any extra wages and more time travelling to the city every day anyway so it's not a huge loss really. The boss is March born I believe, knew there was a good whack of Pisces in him even if mixed with Aries. Not to say that they are the only good ones but it's good to have a Piscean boss (I had one before who was very nice too), he has his little bugbears but overall he's very fair with everyone, the perks are better than average and he's very approachable. More than the company itself or the work it's the person you have in charge that makes all the difference I find. I hope that you find yourself somewhere where you fit in too, maybe your Saturn transit will sort that out in the end.

Trying to look at this last year objectively I NEEDED a new job after having wasted so many years in temp jobs (because of my health being so shoddy at the time that I didn't want to take on any responsibility) where I wasn't in a position to gain any experience or ranking so despite all the hassle of being unemployed and broke for a long while it was definitely an area of my life that needed an overhaul; At least I had some time off to sort out the Diabetes and now I actually have some prospects with regards to the future. Maybe Saturn did do me a favour in the end, I dunno. It's still a little difficult to be positive about things just yet so soon after this long Saturn transit and return....

Hate to sound so twee but I'm going to quote the Stones "you can't always get want you want, but if you try, sometimes you just might find, you get what you need".

 

There are so many social networks now aren't there it's hard to keep up. I gave in to Facebook in the end, which isn't too bad and they have some charity applications that I like to use, if you change your mind or if any of our other regulars are on it my email add should be on my profile here so feel free to add me. A shame we don't have more members in the same places to actually have proper meet ups now and again. Haven't succumbed to MySpace, though perhaps I should eh. I listened to the tracks you released a little while back, not really my genre but good stuff, wish you the best of luck getting more out