Flirt-4-Fun

Back in the early months of 2000 I was a member of An Adult Truth or Dare chatroom. Met many a friend there, some I have kept up with, some are probably lost to me forever. I always try to have fun in chat, put on a happy face, all the fun stuff. So, on May 11 I was sitting quietly in the room. My ex had phoned that day and told me our divorce was final. I was really down. Knocked me for a loop, cos I didn't even know it went to court. Didn't wanna talk, just wanted not to feel so alone. Just answering when asked a direct question.

When Tanglefoot, (a regular in the room), said he was gonna go and let his brother come in. For us to be nice to him. Well of course in comes ShadowRider. At first I thought it was Tangle playing a trick to see if anyone would talk about him. LOL We all welcomed him. He seemed a nice fella. Anyway time went on and we added each other to messenger. We would chat in the room from time to time before.

One night we were both in the room, but also on messenger together. We really talked for the first time. I realised I wasn't the only one who'd been hurt the way I'd been. He knew exactly what I was going through. We talked about everything in the following weeks. I really started having feelings for this man. It scared me. Here we were 3000 miles apart in different countries even. There's no way we'd ever meet. I took the chicken way out. I blocked him.

Each night seeing his name flash on my screen when he signed in really got to me. I knew I couldn't run forever, so one night I unblocked him. He immediately jumped in my box asking if everything was ok and if I was ok. I felt so bad for having blocked him. I told him what I'd done. He told me not to worry cos he had feelings starting too.

We decided to try out the voice chat that night. OMGoodness! The minute I heard his voice I was a gonner! Oh wow, it actually sent shivers up my spine. We talked on voice from then on. Then we tried the phone. Connection was a lot better and spoiled us! We talked for 3 to 5 hours everynight. We never ran out of things to discuss.

On October 18th 2000, we were on the phone and I said my feelings for him were really growing. That's when he told me....."I love you". My heart felt like it was going to bust. I told him then....."I love you too". We started talking of meeting. We'd arranged for me to fly up to him in December but that fell through. I was so bummed out. One night he told me, I bought an airline ticket today. I'm flying down on January 9th. We'd talked before of him moving to Georgia. He was selling everything and coming to me. I was exstatic. My daughter asked me, how can you say you love him when you've never even met? I told her I couldn't explain it, I just knew I did.

On the day he arrived in GA I drove everyone at work crazy. Anyone who would listen to me knew about him. LOL I went to the airport....got really nervous and scared.....my confidence was always low. Anyway, I tried hiding from him when he first came in, but his eyes went straight to mine. He never even looked around. It was like he knew exactly where I'd be. He walked straight to me, dropped his bags, opened his arms, and when I stepped into them he told me..."Welcome home baby". Looking into his eyes I KNEW this was love. I saw his love for me glowing there.

The next few days were bliss. I took him to meet my parents and one of my sisters. He met my kids. Life was gonna be great! Then 2 weeks after he'd arrived, he called his kids to see how they were. His son was sick. Real sick. Sitting wrapped up in each others arms watching TV that night. I looked up into his eyes and asked the question I never wanted to voice......"You're going to have to go back aren't ya?" His eyes watered up and he nodded his head. He asked me to come with him. There was no way I could. My daughter had just started college. Her Dad didn't help finance it. I had too many responsibilities.

His return flight was booked 2 days later. We spent the next day playing tourists. We went to the beach and walked arm in arm. (That was always one of our fantasies) The day I took him to the airport is the saddest in my life. We traded trinkets to ensure we would meet again one day. I watched him walk toward the plane......silently praying for him to come running back. When he got to the top of the stairs at the plane, he looked through the window where I was standing, and blew me a kiss. That's when I knew he was going.

I had the day off. I went home and cried the night away. I couldn't even sleep in my bed. The next morning, getting ready for work, my daughter came over, saw my eyes and told me...."I knew he'd hurt you". I told her to stop, she didn't know what she was talking about. He didn't hurt me, circumstances did. He'd asked me to go with him. She asked me then, why didn't you go? I told her there's no way I can go and leave you and Jon,(my son who lived with ex and his new wife). She asked why? She said I'm grown and on my own, Jon lives with Dad and Tricia. What's keeping you here? Then she hugged me and told me it was time I sought happiness for myself. To think of me for a change and go for it. Before I could change my mind I said, OK. I will!

Cal called a little later to see how I was coping and I told him of mine and Mandy's talk. He said he'd get us a place as soon as he could. Little over 2 weeks later, I'd sold my house, got my daughters tuition and books paid for, said goodbye to my son, packed what I could carry in my car and gave the rest to Mandy. My sister drove up with me so I didn't have to travel cross country alone. The day I hugged Mandy bye, we were both crying, I told her then, "if you want me to stay, just say the word and I will". She looked me in the eyes and told me, Mom it's time for YOU to find happiness.

I had to leave my doggie with my mom and my bird with my nephew. So me and my sister and a packed to the roof car, set out. It was mid February and I'd never driven in snow. LOL It took us 5 days of driving an average of 10 hours a day to get there, but we did it. And loved every second. I called Cal each night, telling him where we were and what route we were taking the next day.

We got to BC. I called Cal to tell him. We got there a day early. He wasn't home. I was so scared he'd changed his mind. LOL Little later the phone rang in the hotel and it was him. He said he'd be right there. (He had caller ID) I hid in the room across the hall to see if he was as nervous as I was. He knocked on the door, and looked nervous. My sister opened the door and he kept tryng to see around her. I walked up behind him about the time he sensed me back there. He whirled around and wrapped me in his arms.

Our place wasn't going to be ready for a few days so he stayed at the hotel with me and my sister. (He was staying with a friend before) We arrived on Tuesday. On Saturday we drove her to the airport 4 hours away. When we got there, we were strapped for time. Had to rush to get her to the gate on time. Not a lot of time for teary goodbyes. When her flight took off, it hit me. Here I am in a strange country with a man I have only actually met last month.

To this day I have never regretted it a bit. He is still the most amazing, sensitive, awesome man I have ever known. Our love seems to radiate from us, we've been told often , even by strangers, that we glow. It's now been almost 7 years since that first meeting, and he still amazes me. I never knew love could be like this. I was always missing something in life. I always felt it. I used to tell my Mom, something's missing, she'd tell me no, it's part of growing up. But I never knew what..........until I met my soulmate.

So now we're gonna have a wonderful and hopefully long future.......but whatever life holds....I am just so thankful I met my soulmate. And I love him beyond words. And he loves me. I see it, and I feel it, and yes, it still has me in awe! So here's to happily ever after...............me and my baby..........together forever.....

if I died tomorrow, I'm so thankful I finally knew true happiness.....