The Long Road to Relief

It is understandable when folks voice frustration and exhaustion fighting chronic pain. Quite often finding relief comes only after traveling along a weary journey of "try this and try that," only to find options growing less, while symptoms continue to grow more. I truly believe the quest for relief in itself is so stressful and agonizing sometimes that this aspect of life adds to the suffering already going on.

I was thinking back to the days when I had agonizing and unrelenting pain and I remembered how hard it was for me to find doctors who were willing and able to work with me. I remembered the time my doctor asked me to create a symptom diary so we could look at it together to see if there were any clues that might explain why I kept getting such severe debilitating headaches almost every day for weeks.

Well, the day of my appointment I was met by a colleague of his who was covering him for that day. When I met him he was rude and condescending. And when I presented my diary to him, he told me I was a hypochondriac and that I was too focused on my pain. He had no recommendations, made no changes to my treatment plan, and offered me absolutely no hope that day. I remember leaving that office in tears. I went from the emotion of relief in finding a doctor to work with me only to have his colleague insult me and treat me with utmost disrespect.

The hurt of that day over 20 years ago remains vivid to this day. As I type this now, I can feel my stomach knotting up and my breathing change. I don't know if that doctor is still practicing or not. I never went back when I knew he would be there. I was sure to tell his partner -- my doctor -- about it though on my next appointment and we did review my diary then. It is now over 20 years later. It took close to 6 doctors and neurologists and 7 years of treatment before I was able to finally gain control over my pain and get my life back. Most of the doctors wanted to bail out quickly when I found little to no relief from their prescribed regimens.

But I continued to become educated about my condition and the treatment options that were available and ultimately I proved to my doctor I was not a push-over. I was a partner in this team and I would have a say about my care. As we worked together, my doctor and I developed a very good relationship based on professionalism and mutual respect. But I think back on the difficulty I had to go through to find someone who would work with me. That struggle in itself was a painful experience I do not want to have to endure ever again.

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