Please understand that being in pain doesn't mean I am not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in incredible pain and exhaustion,and if you visit, I probably don't seem like much fun to be with. But, I'm still me, stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, work, and my family and friends, and most of the time Id still like to hear you talk about yours too.

Please understand the difference between happy and healthy.When you've got the flu, you probably feel miserable with it. But I've been in pain for years. I can't be miserable all the time, in fact, I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I am happy. Thats it. It doesn't mean that I am not in a lot of pain or extremely tired, or that I'm getting better or any of those things. Please don't say, Oh, you're sounding better. I am not sounding better, I am sounding happy. If you want to comment on that, you're welcome.

Please understand that being able to stand up to ten minutes doesn't necessarily mean I can stand for 20 minutes, or an hour. And just because I managed to stand up for ten minutes yesterday doesn't mean I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases, you're either paralyzed or you can move.With this one, it gets more confusing.

Please repeat the above paragraph, substituting sitting, walking, thinking, being sociable, and so on. It applies to everything. That is what Chronic Pain does to you.

Please understand that Chronic Pain is variable. Its quite possible (its common for me) that one day I'll be able to walk to the park and back, while the next I'll have trouble getting to the kitchen. Please don't attack me when I am hurting by saying "But you did it before"... If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel an invitation at the last minute. If that happens, please do not take it personally.

Please understand that getting out and doing things does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. Telling me that I need a treadmill, or that I just need to loose (or gain) weight, get this exercise machine, join this gym, or try these classes..may frustrate me to tears,and is not correct. I am working with my doctors and physical therapists, and already doing the diet and exercise I am suppose to do. Another Statement that hurts,You just need to push yourself more, exercise harder..

Chronic Pain can cause secondary depression (wouldn't you get depressed if you were hurting for months on end?), but is not created by depression.

Please understand that if I say I have to sit/lie down/take these pills now, I have to do it right now, and it can't be put off or forgotten just because I am out for the day (or whatever). Chronic Pain does NOT FORGIVE.

If you want to suggest a cure to me, don't. It is not because I don't appreciate the thought and its not because I don't want to get well. Its because I have had almost every single one of my friends suggest one at one point or another. At first, I tried them all, but I realized I was making myself sicker, not better. If there were something that cured or even helped, all the people with Chronic Pain would know about it. This is not a drug company conspiracy. There is a worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with Chronic Pain, if something worked, we would KNOW.

If after reading this, you still want to suggest a cure, then do it, but don't expect me to rush right out and try it. I'll take what you said and discuss it with my doctor.

In many way I depend on you  people who are not in pain. I need you to visit me when I am in to much pain to go out. Sometimes I may need you to help me with the shopping or the cooking. I may need you to take me to the physical therapist or the doctor. You are my link to the outside world...and, as much as possible, I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND ME.

Love, Me