Leading with a Limp
by Cynthia Bezek, editor of Pray! 
I had a dilemma. I was to lead a staff prayer meeting in half an hour, but I didn’t feel up to the task. To paraphrase Robert Browning, God was in His heaven, but all was not right with my world. How do I lead a prayer meeting when my heart is heavy? I asked myself.

Somewhere I’d picked up the idea that prayer leaders were always supposed to be upbeat and optimistic. Like a spiritual cheerleader, phrases such as “Praise God!�?“Hallelujah anyhow!�?“God will make a way!�?and “Just trust Him!�?were supposed to roll readily off their tongues.

But the idea of trying to talk like that nearly made me ill. I would have been faking it. Even if my prayer group didn’t pick up on my act, God would know. “These people come near to me with their mouth and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me,�?God said of Israel in Is. 29:13. I didn’t want to be like that. So what was I to do?

Finally, I decided to be honest. As I began the prayer time I made a simple confession to the group: “Life has been unusually hard the past couple of days. I am glad to be here with you to pray, and I sure need to pray—but I’m not feeling real full of faith and joy right now. Just wanted you to know.�?

With that, we began to pray. To my surprise, the worship time seemed more powerful than usual. We focused on the attributes of God that corresponded to our areas of need. As we did, we sensed God’s nearness and His unmistakable comfort. Several people interceded for me, and I felt my heart lifting a little.

Toward the end of our time, the Holy Spirit led us to pray for prayer leaders and pastors who, like me, were going through heavy trials, yet needed to lead others in prayer. If I hadn’t had to lead prayer with a limp that day, we might not have prayed for them in that probably much-needed way. All in all, it was an unusually rich prayer time.

My life has evened out some since that morning. These days, I bring a little more faith and energy to our weekly prayer meetings. However, I’ve learned that when I’m feeling beat up by life, it’s OK to be honest with God, not just in private, but even when I’m leading prayer. In our weakness, He is strong.