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| | (3 recommendations so far) | Message 1 of 24 in Discussion |
| | From: junkie420 (Original Message) | Sent: 10/4/2002 7:30 AM |
i recently moved all the way across the USA to get away from everyone i knew because they were all linked to heroin in one way or another...i've been clean now for nearly five months and i want to get high more now than i did when i stopped. if i had it or knew where to get it i would be obliterated right now....i want it so bad i can ALMOST taste it, unfortunately almost just doesn't cut it with me.... |
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| | | From: nessie | Sent: 10/10/2002 12:37 PM |
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Yep <I also agree wholeheartedly of writing things down
,every feeling ( good and bad !!!) hide it if you are paranoid but it I VERY
theraputic. Love"N"Health Always Nessie XXX
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Wednesday, October 09, 2002 7:40
PM
Subject: Re: i wanna get high!!!
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i wanna
get high!!!
Reply
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| From: Frank |
Wild... I'm a big proponent of
writing things down, too. And I encourage others to do the
same. Job change? Buy a new car or maintain my
current one? Whatever it is, writing it out is better than
just thinking it. The answer is always there in front of
you when your done. Good suggestion.
420... Yes, it could have been you.
I'm glad you're still with
us. | |
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| | | From: Indigo | Sent: 10/11/2002 10:28 PM |
Junkie420 -- Don't worry about how you'll feel tomorrow--just get thru the day...When the cravings come, talk about it to friends you trust or us, but don't keep it in your mind & let it grow & grow--try to disempower it by talking or writing or exercizing etc etc--it does get better in time....I still struggle with it at times-- An NA or AA meeting might be a good idea on a bad craving day---You're not alone! |
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For the first 6 months of sobriety all I could think of was how I was going to do this for the rest of my life....no junk...no needles, I couldn't tattoo- using a needle only made me want to use, what helps me today if I even think I MIGHT be tempted is to think about exactly what I felt like the last minute I threw up my hands and said thats it, I'm done, I can't do this anymore. I hurt so bad my body was shutting down I was going to court to be sentenced and had to have the DA help hold me up!!! Here it is a year later and I am healthy working paying my bills, making ammends, and wanting to finish my degree and go to work in a recovery house! Do I want to stick a frickin needle in my arm HE## no!! The withdrawl ISNT worth it the cramps hurt!!!! good luck- my prayers are with ya! |
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There will never be a time when you stop thinking about getting high. I have been cleen for almost a year and can look back and see what I almost lost. I have the craving if things are going good or if I'm just stressed. Maybe in 10 yrs. or never, the cravings will go away. In the meantime we must occupy ourselves with distractions. Children can make anew and fun world andyou won't hav time to think of anything but their safty. Exercise until you have no energy left and all you can do is sleep. Or the most obvioulsly, write down indetail what and why you want the high and you know writing is an excellent release. Not only are you distracted from the phsical ability, but you are not ignoring the source of the problem. You seem to be killing two stones with one rock(sorry I have never been very good with cliches). The feelings go away and don't last so long. Just hang in there and don't let yourselve lose this fight. Once you are cobfortalby sure of your victory, the pride and determination will stop you from getting everything you are willing to fight for. GOOD LUCK & HANG IN THERE!!!! ---Free and Clear |
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I hope you are wrong about there never being a time when the cravings disappear free and clear. I've been totally clean for a little over 4 years, and so far I've had long periods free from cravings and obsession, but it hasn't totally stopped. The cravings do seem to have less intensity now, and they don't last as long. I don't get the taste in my mouth, or the shaking body when I think about it anymore. I still dream about it though, and that is unsettling. I think the residual cravings are my reminder of how narrowly I escaped last time, and my healthy bit of fear that keep me from choosing to go back. So maybe I'll never totally shake the jonse, but it has gotten a lot easier to deal with after some clean time. |
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| | | From: Indigo | Sent: 10/17/2002 1:41 AM |
I agree with Curiosity--it gets easier with time--But I'm sure its alittle different for everyone... |
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| | | From: nessie | Sent: 10/18/2002 3:59 AM |
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Het ,,,, Im with Jussagirl 100% but it is bloody hard for me
as I have to give my son a growth hormone injection every night and make up the
mix of white powder !!! Definately couldn't have done that a little while ago
!!!! Go Girl Blessed Be In Love"N"Light Always Nessie XXX
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Saturday, October 12, 2002 3:34
PM
Subject: Re: i wanna get high!!! writing
!!!
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i wanna
get high!!! writing !!!
Reply
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| From: jussagirl |
For the first 6 months
of sobriety all I could think of was how I was going to do this
for the rest of my life....no junk...no needles, I couldn't
tattoo- using a needle only made me want to use, what helps me
today if I even think I MIGHT be tempted is to think about
exactly what I felt like the last minute I threw up my hands and
said thats it, I'm done, I can't do this anymore. I hurt so
bad my body was shutting down I was going to court to be
sentenced and had to have the DA help hold me up!!!
Here it is a year later and I am healthy working paying my
bills, making ammends, and wanting to finish my degree and go to
work in a recovery house!
Do I want to stick a frickin needle in my arm HE##
no!!
The withdrawl ISNT worth it the cramps hurt!!!! good
luck- my prayers are with
ya! | |
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Reply
| | | From: Echo | Sent: 4/23/2003 9:35 PM |
God I wanna get high too. I moved away after detox in feb- but only 20 minutes away. So everyday is like torture. 20 minutes - the H may as well be dangling in front of my face. not to mention my boy still holds our apt there and still uses sometimes- but I'm not supposed to. Well i do from time to time and it's the time between that kills me. It's painful and depressing and lately i wonder if i should just dive back in and skip the bullshit. All or nothing, I'm just so sick of it. I'm trying to live a normal life but I feel anything but. I still have the same job and I swear i did it better when i had a habit- at least then i had energy and i wasnt constantly depressed. Still have the same problems- bills out of control etc. Nothing has changed except I'm not doing bags everyday. sorry for the negativity. Amy |
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| | | From: Indigo | Sent: 4/23/2003 10:44 PM |
I STILL want to get high on junk & I started using 37 years ago--I hope this doesn't discourage others from doing their own thing but the desire to use heroin has NEVER left me completely though I only use every few months these days & thats WITH being on methadone the last 7 years--Without the methadone I'd be a DEADMAN! Yes, I remember the Bliss of Heroin unfortunately & it IS an option today & always! |
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i wonder if its all about accessability ... i have been clean for 4 years or so. I dont even know my dealer anymore and living in Sydney means that if i want stuff i have to travel (i dont have a car) about 1 hr away. And it aint safe for a girl. And none of my friends do it. So i dont. I keep pretending i'm so proud of me ... but i reckon that its just that i cant get my hands on it ... its got nothing to do with my willpower! |
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| | | From: Echo | Sent: 6/16/2003 4:53 PM |
wow i look at the last post i did and i feel different today than i did then- thank god. My boy moved away with me and we are trying to start a new little life in a new little city. It's great and a change but i dont pretend we have completely changed. We no longer do H thank god nor do we want to- a miracle really, especially for me. But like i say we are still the same people and we still love our drugs and -even in a new little life, new little city- when you come across forgotten wonders like dilaudid or morphine- well, we'd be crazy to pass them up. They are also good reminders of what CRAP for drugs heroin really is. Still holding onto my methadone, though not everyday and not prescribed, and still looking for a real source of energy- other than drugs. I feel like I'm getting better at living w/out them though. so sure i'd love to get high everyday, on morphine preferably, but just living life comfortably w/out pain is much more appealing to me now. Amy |
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| That's why it's important that you find some other people who are trying to stay clean and support one another. |
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Dude, you'll forget all about it after like a coupla years. No joke. Don't sweat it - just stay away from the stuff for a good two years. AFter four - that's how long it's been for me - you won't remember a thing about it. I can't remember the feeling ... it's like not having sex for a long time .. ya just forget!!! And then it's EASY. I actually went back to hating needles now ... almost pass out when I go to the doctor. I probably could do a one-shot shot again if I had to, but hell, I don't want that shit anywhere near me. Needles are gross. Hang in there, buddy. YOu'll be fine! |
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Wow, that was a post from 2002. HAHA Oops! |
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