Heritics of Heroin

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I have been taking care of myself going to a womans group every week for almost 6 years to deal with the problems that ch and domestic violence have on us. It has been my B-12 and my lifeline, my safe place because my ex has a big history of stalking and violence.

Monday night my ex's new wife was sitting in the waiting room when I got there..I was stunned and asked her 'what are you doing here'? She said she was here for an intake. Past experience will lead me to believe that my ex will either be in the parking lot or in the waiting room the next time I go. I have my therapist and psych there as well. I am very concerned for my safety and made sure that everyone in authority knew that..I even broke down crying and said I could not come there if she was going to this place as well. There are at least six other places she can go for her own treatment and I feel this place should send her elsewhere. They told me not to worry, I would be escorted to my car..Blah,blah. I told them, 'great, we will all be walking targets. I will not feel safe if my ex knows where my safe haven is. The board is going to make a decision next week but I feel that I should have consideration over her because I have been there so long. I have finally been able to lead a calmer life..I have a PO box and an unlisted number. He doesn't know where my daughter and I even live. To make matters worse I had another appt on Wednesday and my legs were shaking when I went inside. The receptionist actually called me by my married name..her name. Do you feel I am right to ask that she be referred elsewhere? Lori

Yes you have the right. Ask whomever is leading you group to refer her elsewhere and tell they why. You need to feel safe in group - that's part of its purpose. Don't be afraid to speak up but do so in privacy of course.

Oh Lori, I feel so bad about the situation you're in. You absolutely have the right to ask the authorities to ask her to leave.

The only thing is: now that she know's where you go......did she tell your ex? Because even if she does leave, your ex will always know what clinic you attend.

So it's like you're between a rock and a hard place!

Such a pity that you have to live your life this way! It's like he still has control.............the creep..................

I hope everything works out for you Lori,

thanks Sue..he does not know I go there every Monday night but yes, I feel exposed and hope they send her elsewhere. Last time he got thrown in jail and we had a four year order of protection. I'll keep you posted. thanks for your validitation. Lori

Hi Rose.. I did speak up..everyone knows and is trying to find a legal way to turn her away..I just don't have any guarantees. He is afraid of the police..last time he did jail time and we got an order of protection. He doesn not know that I go there every Monday night but I will definitely feel like a sitting duck not knowing if he is in the parking lot.

The center has offered to come out and walk me in and back but if I even have to go to those lengths to get to my safe place, it won't feel safe. Thenks for the validation. I'll keep you posted. Lori

Lori, My GOD girl, You have every right to demand they find another place for your Exs wife.

I pray she doesnt tell Your Ex she saw you, or anything about you,.

Take the safety the place is trying to offer you.

Let them walk you to your car, let them make sure you stay safe, OK???

Much Love Karen

Thanks, K. I spoke to the center on another mater today and was told there was still no answer. I think the girls in my group are ready to stage a boycott Perhaps this place will think fast if they lose 5 clients for the ex's wife. We have been a group for five years and can easily just go to a coffee shop and shoot the breeze. I am still hoping they send her elsewhere and am not liking the time that is going by. I'll let you know something when I do.

Thanks sweetie for the affirmation. So far, I have received 5 e mails that all say the same thing as you. I have never felt more validated. Thank you and everyone for your support.

I have someone giving me a ride right to the back entrance on Monday and then out. They need to understand just how serious this is. I have my safety bag together at home but I feel safe here. My neighbors would kick his ass if he came over here. He has been in too much trouble with the police, the DA and now has a job..if he screws up again he will lose everything again.

I'm praying that will keep him away. I'll keep you guys posted..thanks..Lori

i am in another country but I would think u could go elsewhere.....or kill him in self defence..lol

Important Announcement The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
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