WELL this may be a first,almost dying from too much drugs but not overdosing,having an allergic reaction!!!!Im deathly allergic to apples,pears,nectarines,applle cider vinegar and lately oranges have been bugging me. Its called an oral allergy as im allergic to grasses trees,pollen and when i eat these fruits my body thinks its pollen or somthing like that....I am allergic to many other foods but with fruits in about half a second after in its in my mouth my throat starts to close,cant breathe...So anyways lately when i was poking coke i would get big itchy bumps right away all over my arms. I started looking into what they used for buff,FRUCTOSE!!! Which i understand is sugar but has some sort of natural ingredient or somthing???I guess there is very little of it in the drugs but i went on a 3 day binge this weekend no sleep at all,3 days of torturing myself...SO THIS WAS MY PUNISHMENT_OR PRESENT SINCE IM SCARED TO DEATH IT WILL HAPPEN AGAIN...At 3am we finally were done going to go to bed and i went to finish off the last bit and all of the sudden i couldnt swallow,or breathe!!! I panicked John thought i was just so tired,screwed up that i was hyperventillating and panicking since i usually break down with guilt and depression after these binges. Finally he saw me trying to find my purse,i have a epipen and it is always with me,THANK GOD!!!!I shot it in me and could breathe,took 2 benedryll and was afraid to lie down as usually u should really go to hospital after this happens but after the weekend of debotury i was not into going at all.If i hadnt had an epi pen i would have needed an ambulance or would have been dead in minutes. So i tried to sit up all night my throat was so small-still is,Anyways that was a real scare wake up call for me!!!!!!  That would be so me dying from a reaction to somthing im allergic too not the drugs..So as much as really do want some ,even after the weekend im too scared,Im just wondering how long ill be scared for???????MAYBE THAT WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN<I DONT KNOW.....OH, ive started an art journal,i love it,anyone else journal????I t makes me feel really good actually putting my thoughts and feelings down on paper and looking back at them once in awhile...ANYWAYS ill shut up now.....LISA,i hope your feeling better...........

                             SAMRA