I've always been a bit of a socail defect, and struggled to form close friendships since school. I was usin gear since about 17 for 8ish yrs and in that time i knew a lot of people, had boyfriends and gear buddies. I met my now partner, funnily enough he used to be my dealer! We both wanted out of the nightmare( When we got together i was doing all sorts of things to get money, luckily he knows and doesnt judge me,) We got on the meth, moved away, got new jobs and cut all ties with everyone we knew except family. It has worked well and really transfomed our lives. I live a completely boring normal life now - work 9-5, have 2 cats, close to some of my family. My problem is i cant make friends, I cant let myself get close to people, except my partner who i am best friends with, my mum, quite sad really. I feel trapped between 2 worlds. I dont fit in with the "junkies" any more, can walk by users in the street and they wouldnt know im on meth. At the same time no one i work with knows about my past or troubles and i feel i cant fit in with them either, i do get on well with my collegues, who are all male, but thats it. Does anyone else struggle like i do? My partner has no problems at all - he is mates with guys at his work and past employment, he plays the xbox live so regularly talks to people on line.Its like i dont know how to behave with straight people, the thought of going into town with a group of people terrifies me! Will i ever get over this?