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| | (1 recommendation so far) | Message 1 of 9 in Discussion |
| | From: saphire (Original Message) | Sent: 11/19/2002 10:48 PM |
Hi all, Sorry i have not been on too much lately. I have been feeling like SHIT! I don't know how much more of this I can take! I've ben off the meth. for 10 days now. I have zero energy. None. I went and did 2 bags of heroin the other day. Oh man! Heavenly... Felt like a new person. Or should I say like the old me???I just want to feel good.... I don't want to go down that road again! Some where on here I saw a recipe that is suuposed to give you energy. If anyone knows it, please foward it. I am desperate!!!! I don't know what else to do. thank you Cindy |
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Cindy,
I am new to this site, so I don't know the receipt you are talking about. I have a brother that died in July 1998 from a Heroin overdose and a sister that is addicted to meth. I wish you only the best, and PLEASE feel free to talk to me. I am no saint. When he died, I turned to drugs to "ease" the pain, only to find out it only made it worse. I am not here to judge because I have been there. Just not Heroin, but no drug is better than the other. I will be here to listen, if you need to talk, and I promise I will NEVER judge you. Bad things happen to good people. It's not like you planned to do this.
Hope to hear from you soon! Christi
saphire <[email protected]> wrote:
Need the recipe!!!!!!!
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| From: saphire |
Hi all, Sorry i have not been on too much lately. I have been feeling like SHIT!
I don't know how much more of this I can take! I've ben off the meth. for 10 days now. I have zero energy. None. I went and did 2 bags of heroin the other day.
Oh man! Heavenly... Felt like a new person. Or should I say like the old me???I just want to feel good.... I don't want to go down that road again! Some where on here
I saw a recipe that is suuposed to give you energy. If anyone knows it, please foward it. I am desperate!!!! I don't know what else to do.
thank you
Cindy
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I know this isn't what you wanna hear but you arent' going to have energy for awhile. Honestly. I know it sucks but when you come off of methadone you feel fatigued and restless and crampy usually for a month or two. Even if you go down really slow. Hopefully everything will work out. There is no way I could've detoxed off after only being on methadone for a short time and on such a inadequate dose. Just try to remember that the fun doesn't last long when you pick up again, at least for me it didn't. I got desperate real fast and got back on methadone. I am 23, and I don't want to be on it forever, nor do I need to be. If things get bad and you need help again please give it another try. I swear that if you get on a adequte dose and stay there for awhile then come off slow and with a good support network things could be different. It really is truely amazing how big of a difference it is between a low dose that works "ok" and a theraputic one. Don't give up is what I am trying to say, its hard though god I know that for sure. I moved to another city, got a new number and stopped talking to anyone that does dope. I was not using when I decided to move, but I just felt like I could use a new start. Now I am so outta touch with the dope scene here in Seattle that I don't know anyone that deals. I also keep my distance from people at the clinic. That's what helped me besides the methadone. Methadone is not a cure all, all it does is keep you stable while you work on getting your life together. Its like a crutch to me, once I am strong enough to walk alone then I won't need anymore. I also started hanging out with people that don't use, squares basically. At first I thought they were lame and boring, but I learned how to have fun without using by hanging out with them. It helped me to put myself in situations where using or drug talk is not acceptable. When I hang out with ex junkies all the time and talk about dope sometimes it triggers a craving. Not on the computer, but when I hang with people here in Seattle. I don't want to met any new dealers or anymore using buddies. Each day it gets easier an d easier. I haven't used heroin in a year or so. I never thought I would be able to stop. I was the type that was constantly trying to find a way to get high on top of my dose, or to do dope without getting a habit. I felt like no matter what I would do dope again, I couldn't say when or where but deep down I wanted to get high one more time. I would tell myself that once I get off methadone I will get high just once. Yeah right! But I don't feel like that anymore, its actually weird. The only thing I could think of that has made this possiable is by staying on methadone for awhile and not rushing to get off, changing my attitude and my habits. I am scared a little about detoxing off. But I have a plan. I got a excellent kick doc that will give me a kick kit for right when I get off so the withdrawals won't be bad. And after I have been off and I can take a opiate blocker without getting sick I will start taking it daily for six months to a year just so I cannot slip up and get high. I feel that if I keep doing what I am doing I will be fine. I don't go to NA/AA either, its not for me. Hang in there and don't give up. Don't dwell on it, move on! Take care
~Thunderkiss~ |
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Hey Cindy It gets better, for real. Right now your body is fighting you, telling you something is wrong. Cuz for so long it had the drug in it, so your receptors were firing differently. Now the drug is not there anymore and it has to do things differently. IT gets better though. You have to force yourself to get out of bed or off the couch, get some fresh air, do this everyday. Make yourself no matter what, eat good food, avoid the sweets and too much carbs, eat lots of veggies and fruits and water! And have a set time you have to be up for and plan things to do every day too. Getting into a routine was a big factor in my getting clean from junk, and excercise too. I find even now at almost 2 years clean I have days if I let my work out routine slip I start to slide back into that depression and lethargy that i felt when i was kicking. For now you may only be able to walk to the park before you have to sit down and rest. but that is cool, do it, but do it every day. soon like in a month you will be able to go to a gym and do 15 minutes a day cardio, maybe push a few weights too. even on days you just want to stay in bed the best thing to do is get out there and get fresh air and get your heart pumping. I find with a routine, school, gym, work, the thoughts are not there so much anymore, and when they do come i can fight them so much easier. Good luck to you, keep busy and just know in your heart that it does get better. I cleaned up at age 29, was wired to the spike since 15, i feel better today than i have in forever...good luck Diana |
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Diana,
I just wanted to let you know that I admire the strength you have found. When I joined this group..i had no idea it would help me so much..actually, for a while i wondered why i had joined. my younger brother died from a heroin od july 23, 1998..seems like only yesterday, but, for so long, i put off grieving and the awful pain...thinking it would go away, and how proud i was for myself for getting through it as fast and easy as i did.. i chose the WRONG path, but evidentally, it was the one meant for me..here it is over 4 years later and i am wanting to do anything i can to help myself get through what i should have dealt with long ago. unfortunately, that was not the case for me...but now i am ready,, i have joined 3 different types of groups and this is the one i feel MOST comfortable in..after having NO idea what i had done when i joined.i was just looking for answers as to WHY he never let me know..i think i have found that answer. i spent SO much time trying to help people get straight, only to find out time and time again,,I CAN NOT SAVE THEM...it hurt so bad, but it is just something i know i have to face...i use to get so damn mad at them for staying clean, only to go right back. i learned it was a disease just like cancer..NONE of them started out WANTING to be heroin addicts..and i know they want to break away from the shit..but sometimes, the drug is stronger than they are...and ALOT of times...it takes lives. i have learned this first hand. My heart is broken and ALWAYS will be. it's like when he died, a piece of me died with him...and i guess in a way, it did... just wish i had known..he trusted me with everything...but not this..maybe it was because he was ashamed????? i'll never know. i just wanted to let you know that you, along with everyone in this group have helped me so much!!! Thank you for allowing me in this wonderful group. You are ALL VERY strong people, and if it means anything...i am proud of you! I don't know that I could ever pull myself out of the hold i have heard heroin has on a person.. GOOD LUCK TO YOU, DIANA, AND EACH OF YOU IN THIS GROUP. JUST KNOW I AM HERE PULLING FOR YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOTS OF HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHRISTI
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| | | From: shannon | Sent: 12/29/2002 3:34 PM |
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The 'recipe" is your nearest methadone clinic. Why
are you getting off methadone to go back to heroin? Im new here so maybe I need
to read more but this just seemed so simple to me..
Shannon |
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| | | From: saphire | Sent: 12/30/2002 5:50 PM |
Hi Shannon, I had to get off the methadone! I could not afford to go there anymore. I didn't go back to heroin. I did it mayne 2 times since. thats it. I am starting to feel better now. cindy |
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Some swear by a combination of amino acids. I know the one is L-tyrosine, ask the druggist what you need to take with it to absorb quickly. Ginseng is good. Get lots of rest and drink a couple cups of coffee. Ask your doctor to put you on some prozac, paxil or wellbutrin, it helps some. I am a nurse, so I know a little bit. I hope this helps. Time is the number one thing however. Take care. |
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| | | From: Echo | Sent: 7/23/2003 6:26 AM |
Thunderkiss- I know that this is an old thread, but I found your post really inspiring. You ought to be soooo proud of yourself. I hope that in a year from now I can say the same about myself as you are about yours. I've read a lot of your posts on here and you've got some seriously good advice to give.This particular post made me realize just how much my lifestyle needs changing- LOTS of changing, at some point at least. I gotta admit the part that scares me about methadone is the coming off of it. Although I really cant see that far into the future (hopefully it will be far or at least as far as i need it to be). I hope that at that point I too have a plan. Your post was from a so long so i gotta ask- have u been clean still the whole time? Are you still on the meth? and are you really 23 yrs old b/c I just assumed u were older!! (that's a compliment by the way- you just know a lot) hope all is well ECHO |
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