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Methadone : METHADONE IS A BLESSING
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 Message 1 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameJunkYardSa1nt  (Original Message)Sent: 5/12/2005 8:36 PM

I love my Methadone. I love the way it tastes. I love the way it smells. I love the cute little bottles. I always know what day it is because the day is stamped on my take home bottle.... =o) I line them up in order of their dates -though I sometimes get a little ahead of schedule hehe.......
I for one think Methadone is great, and I think it's a gift from God. I am so fortunate and blessed to be able to have something that arrests this disease and gives me my life back, that I don't care what anyone thinks or says, I know that for me Methadone is a blessing and it has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams. I've been off and on Methadone for over twenty years, nearly thirty - but it wasn't until I accepted it as being "OK" that it did anything to help me. For me, using Methadone toward the ultimate goal of 'abstinence' just didn't work. High dose long term Methadone to completely eradicate use of illicit drugs does work. Dope doesn't rule my life anymore, and it's thanks to Methadone.

Before methadone I was always driven by an insatiable craving to somehow alter my conciousness. I've gone so far as to drink vanilla extract for the alchohol, and would beat old cottons until they were transparent. I've lost so much money buying dope, and getting ripped off trying to buy dope, that I'd be rich if I were to be able to recover it. I've bought dope in every city I've ever been in, here and abroad, and have struggled with addiction to opiates since I was a teenager. I've tried to quit since my first habit, and have ended up addicted to heroin, morphine, dilaudid and even codeine. I've been through twelve steps, rehab, tried geographical cures and just plain white knuckled it. Nothing has EVER been as successful as Methadone.

People say it's trading one addiction for another, but I don't agree. Before being on Methadone maintenance I've had had too many drug habits to count. When I first tried methadone, I thought of it as something temporary, something that I would use to accomplish total abstinence someday. It wasn't until I finally became OK with being on Methadone - until I accepted that I have something like a disease, and that this medicine, if I take enough to completley stop all craving, and I take it as regularly as a diabetic takes insulin - can free me from it's symptoms.

I had to fight with my clinic to get what I needed, but I fought with them until the dose I was getting was enough to keep me from craving. Once I got that accomplished, I then decided that it was OK to take it -yes, forever if neccessary. Now I'm able to get back to really important things - like living my life.

To put it simply, opiate addiction is a medical problem, that can be cured by taking Methadone. I wish people would stop trying to complicate it by making it a psychological problem. We all have issues, but when I take enough Methadone and I take it daily - drug addiction is no longer one of them. I don't need to sit in a circle and talk about my childhood, or hold hands and pray the Serenity prayer - I just want my medicine. Thank God for Methadone, it's truly a blessing.


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 Message 2 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLovingmom2433Sent: 5/13/2005 8:04 PM
Junkyard, 
 
Horray for you,  You accepted your disease and you embraced what works for you.
I wish you could copy the post you just wrote and distribute a copy to every news paper in the US.
You may just encourage someone who has been struggling for years with the old stigma of trading one addiction for another.
YOU ROCK JUNKYARD!!!!!!!!!
I am so glad you found what works for you,
Much love, Karen
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2005 3:36 PM
Subject: METHADONE IS A BLESSING

New Message on Heritics of Heroin

METHADONE IS A BLESSING

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From: JunkyardMystic


I love my Methadone. I love the way it tastes. I love the way it smells. I love the cute little bottles. I always know what day it is because the day is stamped on my take home bottle.... =o) I line them up in order of their dates -though I sometimes get a little ahead of schedule hehe.......
I for one think Methadone is great, and I think it's a gift from God. I am so fortunate and blessed to be able to have something that arrests this disease and gives me my life back, that I don't care what anyone thinks or says, I know that for me Methadone is a blessing and it has given me a life beyond my wildest dreams. I've been off and on Methadone for over twenty years, nearly thirty - but it wasn't until I accepted it as being "OK" that it did anything to help me. For me, using Methadone toward the ultimate goal of 'abstinence' just didn't work. High dose long term Methadone to completely eradicate use of illicit drugs does work. Dope doesn't rule my life anymore, and it's thanks to Methadone.

Before methadone I was always driven by an insatiable craving to somehow alter my conciousness. I've gone so far as to drink vanilla extract for the alchohol, and would beat old cottons until they were transparent. I've lost so much money buying dope, and getting ripped off trying to buy dope, that I'd be rich if I were to be able to recover it. I've bought dope in every city I've ever been in, here and abroad, and have struggled with addiction to opiates since I was a teenager. I've tried to quit since my first habit, and have ended up addicted to heroin, morphine, dilaudid and even codeine. I've been through twelve steps, rehab, tried geographical cures and just plain white knuckled it. Nothing has EVER been as successful as Methadone.

People say it's trading one addiction for another, but I don't agree. Before being on Methadone maintenance I've had had too many drug habits to count. When I first tried methadone, I thought of it as something temporary, something that I would use to accomplish total abstinence someday. It wasn't until I finally became OK with being on Methadone - until I accepted that I have something like a disease, and that this medicine, if I take enough to completley stop all craving, and I take it as regularly as a diabetic takes insulin - can free me from it's symptoms.

I had to fight with my clinic to get what I needed, but I fought with them until the dose I was getting was enough to keep me from craving. Once I got that accomplished, I then decided that it was OK to take it -yes, forever if neccessary. Now I'm able to get back to really important things - like living my life.

To put it simply, opiate addiction is a medical problem, that can be cured by taking Methadone. I wish people would stop trying to complicate it by making it a psychological problem. We all have issues, but when I take enough Methadone and I take it daily - drug addiction is no longer one of them. I don't need to sit in a circle and talk about my childhood, or hold hands and pray the Serenity prayer - I just want my medicine. Thank God for Methadone, it's truly a blessing.

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 Message 3 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSuziblues2Sent: 5/13/2005 9:39 PM
O my God, Junkyard, I agree with you so much!  This morning I had to go to the manditory 'group' meeting at my clinic.  It is such a waste of time for me!!!  What we do is exactly what you were describing:  sit in a circle and say 12 step stuff to one another or talk about our child hood or problems.  NOT FOR ME. 
 
My addiction to heroin is kinda simple:  I did it with some friends a long time ago, I really liked it, I got addicted.  No deep dark terrible secrets.  Nothing I wanted to escape from. It's just a nice high!
 
So, now, I have to do this thing about the 4th step.  I  have to figure out all the bad stuff in me and write it on paper or something like that.  And if I dont do it I will be in trouble at my methadone clinic and be non-compliant.  What a bunch of crapolla.
 
I wish more people had your attitude Junkyard.
luv,
sue

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 Message 4 of 16 in Discussion 
From: IndigoSent: 5/14/2005 5:58 PM
The 12 Steps can be useful in recovery but they should never be force fed to anyone under any conditions--let alone at a meth clinic--imagine a doctor telling his patient that he/she can't get their cancer meds or insulin unless they wrote out some long essay--its BS!! Its blackmail & manipulation on the clinics part no matter what their good intentions are supposed to be.....How about forcing the 12 Steppers to take methadone if they want their copy of the Big Book & entrance to the meeting??-lol

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 Message 5 of 16 in Discussion 
From: IndigoSent: 5/14/2005 6:00 PM
btw--I totally agree that Methadone is a major blessing--I'd definitely be dead or in jail now if not for meth!!

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The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 6 of 16 in Discussion 
Sent: 5/15/2005 5:26 AM
This message has been deleted due to termination of membership.

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 Message 7 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname©ShaSent: 5/15/2005 8:16 PM
There your are! I sure was missing your particular brand of wisdom..and of course this post only reminds me more as to why.
 
No if's..ands or buts about it..one of the best pro-methadone testaments I have ever read..bar none. Not only should in be published but is should be mailed to every politician..doctor..clinic..junkie..non-junkie and naysayer in the free world. Force read if necessary..made into posters..bumperstickers and put on roadside adverts alongside the radical right wing 'war on drug's' ones. Clearly this is a message that needs spreading..not only to those who are anti-methadone..but especially for the junkies out there who have danced this back & forth fight dance with methadone; before coming to the same realisation (if they are lucky enough to get that far), as Junkyard and others. I did it for years..back and forth..back and forth..still do to some degree because of swelling and other issues..but my symptoms are the exception. The myths out there are insane and really do not save lives. To each his or her own..but tell it like it is..and in this case..it is exactly like JD says it is.
 
"High dose long term Methadone to completely eradicate use of illicit drugs does work. Dope doesn't rule my life anymore, and it's thanks to Methadone."

or "METHADONEOWNED" on a bumbersticker.  Yea I know..my tires would be gone at the next place I stopped probably.

 Indigo crack me up..a prereq for 12 steppers..now that was funny shit...no offence to anyone..it just was is all.
 
Sue..sorry you had to go through that...I'm thankful I don't anymore.
 
Thanks for the take JD..always apapreicated.
Sha
 
 

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 Message 8 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLovingmom2433Sent: 5/16/2005 2:50 PM
As you guys know I am training to work at the crisis center. 
Yesterday we went thru the referral files, and I was of course checking out the places the county refers people to for drug treatment.
Believe it or not, They only refer people to ONE, Methadone clinic. 
I questioned the supervisor on that, and she said, its ashame, and the reason they refer people to this one is because it is open 18 hours a day.
Then she put her two cents in about methadone being a double edged sword, and just another addiction.
I cannot wait until we develop a friendship so I can talk to her about the benefits of methadone.
This just goes to prove how stigmatized methadone still is.,
She has been a social worker for 20 years and still has that opinion on Methadone????
Sad.
Much love Karen
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sha©"
Sent: Sunday, May 15, 2005 3:16 PM
Subject: Re: METHADONE IS A BLESSING

New Message on Heritics of Heroin

METHADONE IS A BLESSING

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  Reply to Sender   Recommend Message 7 in Discussion
From: Sha©

There your are! I sure was missing your particular brand of wisdom..and of course this post only reminds me more as to why.
 
No if's..ands or buts about it..one of the best pro-methadone testaments I have ever read..bar none. Not only should in be published but is should be mailed to every politician..doctor..clinic..junkie..non-junkie and naysayer in the free world. Force read if necessary..made into posters..bumperstickers and put on roadside adverts alongside the radical right wing 'war on drug's' ones. Clearly this is a message that needs spreading..not only to those who are anti-methadone..but especially for the junkies out there who have danced this back & forth fight dance with methadone; before coming to the same realisation (if they are lucky enough to get that far), as Junkyard and others. I did it for years..back and forth..back and forth..still do to some degree because of swelling and other issues..but my symptoms are the exception. The myths out there are insane and really do not save lives. To each his or her own..but tell it like it is..and in this case..it is exactly like JD says it is.
 
"High dose long term Methadone to completely eradicate use of illicit drugs does work. Dope doesn't rule my life anymore, and it's thanks to Methadone."

or "METHADONEOWNED" on a bumbersticker.  Yea I know..my tires would be gone at the next place I stopped probably.

 Indigo crack me up..a prereq for 12 steppers..now that was funny shit...no offence to anyone..it just was is all.
 
Sue..sorry you had to go through that...I'm thankful I don't anymore.
 
Thanks for the take JD..always apapreicated.
Sha
 
 
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 Message 9 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nickname©ShaSent: 5/16/2005 6:21 PM
I didn't know you'd started Karen..that's great! So how's it going so far..sounds like you're already making mental notes..good for you. And yea what a shame about the stigma's still attached after all this time. If anyone can gently turn minds around or at least give unbiased points it'll be you. Claude posted awhile back on how he does that..will try and find it if you're interested...maybe it'll help with ideas.
 
Compiling personal letters of people whose lives it has changed would be something to add to your portfollio..I'd be more than glad to give you mine (signed) if you're interested. They just may help sway some people one day should you decide to use them. A thought..
 
Sha

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 Message 10 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLovingmom2433Sent: 5/17/2005 12:41 AM
Sha,  The offer of letters is a sweet idea,  If I think I may need them, I will let you know, Thanks.
I started my training this last weekend.,
20 grueling hours, but I loved it.
I am just kind of confused about a few things but they keep telling me it will all fit together.
I absolutely love the people at the crisis center already.
I think it takes a special person to work at the crisis center so I think that is why they are such great people.
I do 4 hours on Thursday where I listen in on a supervisors calls.
Im a little nervous about that one.
Next weekend is another 20 hours.
It may be a little more intense next weekend because we are dealing with spousal abuse, drug addiction, and Suicide, and grief.
I was talking to one of the supervisors who heads up a team of people called MERT.
Macomb Emergency response team.
You know when you hear a news story and they say, counselors are on the scene???
Like in the case of an industrial accident, or a shooting involving alot of people, and things like that????
I think all those people who have just been traumatized don't  necessarily need counseling but a person they can get there shock out with and maybe a few huge hugs to comfort these people.
It sounds like something I would love to do.
Well I think I may want to train for that, but I have to be at the crisis center for 6 months first.
Well so for now, I am so thrilled that I stepped out of my comfort zone and am giving this a try. 
I owe it to alot of you here at H of H who did so much encouraging.
Thanks all of you for being there for me when I really needed it.
Much love always, Karen
 
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sha©"
Sent: Monday, May 16, 2005 1:21 PM
Subject: Re: METHADONE IS A BLESSING

New Message on Heritics of Heroin

METHADONE IS A BLESSING

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  Reply to Sender   Recommend Message 9 in Discussion
From: Sha©

I didn't know you'd started Karen..that's great! So how's it going so far..sounds like you're already making mental notes..good for you. And yea what a shame about the stigma's still attached after all this time. If anyone can gently turn minds around or at least give unbiased points it'll be you. Claude posted awhile back on how he does that..will try and find it if you're interested...maybe it'll help with ideas.
 
Compiling personal letters of people whose lives it has changed would be something to add to your portfollio..I'd be more than glad to give you mine (signed) if you're interested. They just may help sway some people one day should you decide to use them. A thought..
 
Sha

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The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 11 of 16 in Discussion 
Sent: 5/17/2005 4:48 AM
This message has been deleted due to termination of membership.

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 Message 12 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameGreen2thecore1Sent: 5/17/2005 12:26 PM
meth helped me make the move forward. years of on and off and on again, the task we have choosen is the toughest i've taken on but at some points very rewarding. Subutex also on my journey. clean today 

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 Message 13 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLovingmom2433Sent: 5/17/2005 1:55 PM
Joanne,  THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are much too kind.
Sorry I didn't email you back, I have been really busy.
Yeah, doesn't that sound great.
For so longggggggggggg I was so stuck in my house not able to commit to anything.
I think you are right, I really think this job is right for me.
I just hope it all clicks together soon before I get on the crisis lines with real people.
I would never want to make them feel worse.
 
Today is D Day for Kevin.(Elizabeth's boyfriend)
She asked me if I would go to court with her this afternoon because she said if Kevin goes to jail she will lose it.
The county prosecutor wants 3 years in a state prison and Kevin's lawyer wants to plea bargain down to a long term rehab.
Elizabeth has been soooooo upset for a few days now.
I told her to pray that Kevin does get sent to a long term rehab,  it could be the miracle his family has been looking for.
I hope I don't end up losing it too, and neither one of us can drive home, LOL.
I will let you know how the sentencing went later after I get back.
Much love Karen
 

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 Message 14 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameGreen2thecore1Sent: 5/17/2005 2:17 PM
just having someone who wants to listen on crisis line is half the battle. im sure you'll find yourself being more affective than you could ever have imagined not so long ago.best wishes for your days to come let me know how things go. thinking about you. sometimes the future is so bright it lights up the past 

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 Message 15 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameLovingmom2433Sent: 5/18/2005 12:29 PM
Green,  I loved your statement  that  sometimes the future is so bright it lights up the past.
That is such a wonderful positive way to look at things,
I would love to hear more about you when you feel like sharing your story.
Much love Karen
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, May 17, 2005 9:17 AM
Subject: Re: METHADONE IS A BLESSING

New Message on Heritics of Heroin

METHADONE IS A BLESSING

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From: Green2thecore1

just having someone who wants to listen on crisis line is half the battle. im sure you'll find yourself being more affective than you could ever have imagined not so long ago.best wishes for your days to come let me know how things go. thinking about you. sometimes the future is so bright it lights up the past 

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 Message 16 of 16 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameGreen2thecore1Sent: 5/19/2005 1:30 AM
my story is as good and bad as everyone else's , i talked the talk and
walked the walk of a heroin addict, 37years old ive been taking drugs of one
flava or another for 25 years. but this is my first bit of the reality
apple. thanks for your reply everyone needs a lovingmum

>From: "Lovingmom2433" <[email protected]>
>Reply-To: "Heritics of Heroin" <[email protected]>
>To: <[email protected]>
>Subject: Re: METHADONE IS A BLESSING
>Date: Tue, 17 May 2005 05:55:28 -0700
>

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