I wrote this about two years after my first daughter Lauren died, i havent shown it to alot of people, she was 3 months old when she died and shed of been 9yrs old in this coming february, having lost Lauren and my mum the previous year when i was only 16, people wondered why i turned to drugs, its not an excuse but it made the pain bearable, ive come along way since then, but losing both of them and in such a short space of time is a big part of the reason i became a heroin addict, im not over losing my mum Mary or Lauren but ive learnt to deal with the pain differently and ive got my 3 year old Ashleigh to think off, and i know my mum wouldnt of wanted me to wreck Ash's life just because i'd lost her and Lauren and couldnt deal with the pain.... I believe things happen for a reason, we go through what we go through to shape us as people and i wouldnt be the person who i am today without experiencing these losses, i am a happy person now adays most of the time, and i feel ive definatley been given a second chance. |