Good evening psychnauts, flapj here. Day twelve(eleven?) no dope and first day no suboxone and I feel fine. Thank the GREAT ALL for helping me and thanks to myself for keeping my word to myself and will power up, and finally thanks to all of you in this forum. Sincerely, you all have played a part in my lengthy, repeated attempts at recovery for the last four months, but I have the wisdom to know that twelve days is not a long time and that I'm not out of the fire, nor shall I ever be completely out of the fire. My guard will always have to be up, as well as my will power. Perhaps as time goes by and my behaviour changes and I begin to fill my extra time with other pursuits then it wil be easier, and even then I must always remember and have my guard up. Thank you Karen and Suziblues for your kind replies. I certainly shall keep you all posted on progress and, hopefully not, relapses. Today the GREAT ALL has bestowed upon me a funny dualistic hope/despair for the future. It is probably just an episode of manic depression, i.e., feel good-feel bad cycle. Now, I feel good, a few hous ago I was incredibly angry and despondent about the goings-on of this world, because I applied for a medical assistance card a little north of where I stay in Philly and was rejected, but the woman who was my case worker set up another appointment and she said I have the option to fill out a denial form, which basically means even though by the books I do not qualify, I can attempt to send my application in anyway and hope that I will be accepted. Oh well. We'll see. Later y'all, much love to all of you, and hope all is as smooth as it can be for all the HoH'ers and their friends and loved ones, flapjack P.S.- I will continue to inhale the sacred remedies of our people(weed), and enjoy the wonderful world of sedatives, anxiolytics, hypnotics, and tranquilizers. Does anybody know where to score some hydergine(cognition/mentation enhancer)tablets? Just kidding. Bye now. |