Hi Suzie, I recall when Mick was styaing with you for awhile a couple of years ago. Am I remembering right..there's a picture of him in your album here I think. Am really sorry to hear he's feeling so tired of life. I know it seems almost impossible that one so young wouldn't want to live anymore..but it can and does happen every single day..many times over too. I tired when I was 16..not once either. The last time I ended up in a coma and they told my mother there was a 95% chance of brain damage. I swallows at least 30 tuinal's..was high before I finsihed getting them down..went to bed and hoped to never wake up. Long story short..I somehow was still alive the next morning..apparently my mother had come in during the night and didn't like the way was my head was positioned so she turned it to the side..as a result the vomit was on my pillow and I didn't choke on it. She had a friend call an ambulance where I was pronounced DOA a few minutes before arriving at the hospital. When I look back today I feel blessed to still be here because I know so many who try never wake up again. But when I finally came around in ICU 3 days later I was still high and my first reaction after I got my bearings was "Fuck..I can't believe I'm still alive."  I was so angry and disappointed..I began ripping the IV's out of my body and the catheter (yea ouch). The staff came in and I passed out again..waking up much later. To this day I can;t reallys ay 'why' I wanted so much to not be on this planet anymore. Did I see it as dieing..no not really..more like a long sleep I was in desperate need of. The world around me was so disappointing..everything I'd beleived about people and life had been proven worng...or so I thought at the time. Today I realise it's the way life plays itself out..and the bad times are compensated by the good. Back then it all just seemed so hopeless. I guess I wasn't properly equipped at the time to understand that. Mick has been through alot in his young life..and I bet if you ask him 'why' he'll answer sort of the same as I did. What's the answer then Suzie..I am trying to think what I would have needed then..maybe peace and quiet for awhile..a place and people who just loved me..simple things..young things..I wsas tired of being an adult already at 16..and a good therapist. I got the first two..but I refused to see a therapist back then..it was a condition of my release from hosipital though. So I went but only because I had to..soon afterwards I talked my way out of going. Wish I'd known then how much help it would have been to me.

 

MY thoughts and prayers are with Mickey and your whole family..I pray he heals..begins to see the life he was meant to have and live. He's in a lonely place right now and needs a friend. You may be just the right person he needs.

 

Much love

Sha

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