Hi Fallen, first of all welcome to HOH.  It's the best site on the web for honest info.  As for your question, it is possible for an addict to stay clean the first time he/she tries.  I think especially if, like in your mom's case she's only been addicted for a couple of years.  But it's very, very hard.  Relapse (using again) is extremely common.

 

To be honest, it's really up to your mom, and how bad she wants to stay clean.  Not how bad she thinks she wants it, but how bad she really, really, wants it inside.  There is a difference.  You didn't ask for advice, but IMO the best thing you can do is support her, encourage her, and let her know you love her.  She has a very hard road ahead and is going to need all the love and support she can get.  She may be hard to deal with when she first gets clean- irritable, pissed off for no reason, depressed, etc., all those things are normal and they take time.  An addict in recovery has to go thru all that to come out the other side and start feeling good.  And it can take a long time- 6 months or more, easy.  So be patient with her and help out in any way you can.  She will need your love and support.

 

If you don't mind my asking, is she in a safe place to detox?  Does she have any plans in place for how to deal with her addiction once she gets clean?  Keep in touch and let us know how it's going- you'll find a lot of support here and a lot of wisdom.  Good luck,

 

Marco

Thanks Marco,Also do u have to really hit rock bottom to really wanna quit and be like,enough is enough.Family members have lost there children and it still wasnt enough to give up the dope.My brother was in jail,but used herion for 5 yrs before he went,and when he got out 2 yrs later he went back to using.I just cant seem to get it that after being off for a long period,why do they still go back?Even after they say they dont want to do it anymore.Anyway to answer your Question,My mom will have been clean 3 weeks this friday and did it at home.She seems so much happier,and I feel like i got my mom back again,WE all thought she was going to die,She whithered away to nothing.Im just afraid im gonna lose her again. 

 

FallenDovergirl32,

I know 1st hand how difficult it is to watch someone you love destroy themselves. I've gone through it with my son and it was the most difficult time in my life. I tried everything and nothing worked. I was convinced that it must have been my fault. I damaged him somehow and I was trying to fix him, but he wasn't cooperating! If he would jsut do what I said he would be fine. And boy oh boy did I find out how wrong I was! Once I found this site and other like it I was finally on my way to gaining back my sanity (well most of it anyways . I learned so much invaluable information and got so much support I was overwhelmed at first. Stick around honey. You found the right place for info, support and tons of warm loving people!

Hugs,

Sharon
FallenDoverGirl32 <[email protected]> wrote:

Hi Sharon,Thankyou for your kind words.I know it must hurt very bad to watch your own child destroy themselves.It really makes it diffulcult to understand how my mom who watched her son [my brother ]struggle with herion for 6 yrs,I use to watch her cry at night,I watched as it tore her up inside when my brother would go to jail,I just dont understand why she would turn to the one drug that was already desroying our family.I hurt when i saw my brother on herion,But it was killing me watching my own mother using it.

Loving mom, Tears flowed in my eyes reading your reply,Im so sorry about your son.Yes a long line of addictions in my family starting with alcohol first,to crack,to finally herion.A few of my cousins overdose quite often,a few hours later they are shotting them selves up again.My cousins been addicts for a few yrs, my brother for 8 yrs, My mom for 2 yrs. But my mom is been clean for 3 weeks friday, Im so proud of her,But still so scared she will relaps. May i ask, How old was your son, And how long has he used herion? You dont have to answer if you dont want..Thanks for your support.      

Hi Fallen-  yes, you pretty much have to hit bottom to really want to quit.  And that's different for everyone.  Some, as you've seen in your own family, will lose everything and it's still not enough to make them quit.  Me, I quit the first time when I was about 21 and was clean for about 20 yrs. and then went back to it for close to 10 years before getting clean again.  It's pretty impossible to explain to a non-addict why we go back to it even when we know what it does to us.  I believe it has a different effect on addicts than it does on "normal" people, and when that drug hits our brain, the feeling is so good you can't imagine what it's like.  And even if we forget or don't think about it, that memory is still there.  It's built into our actual cells and it only takes using it once to come back in full force.  We addicts tend to always trick ourselves into believing that we can do it once, just to get that feeling one last time.  But it never works out that way.  I would say, and this is only my opinion, that's the biggest danger for your mom.  That as she feels better she may begin to think she can just try it one more time.  It's not possible for an addict to do it once.

 

Am so glad you're mom is doing well and you feel like you've got your "old mom" back again.  I truly hope this is the happy ending to your story.  Is she doing anything or have any plans to help her stay clean?  Let us know how it's going. 

 

Marco

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hi loving mom, Im 32,I only have my dad as a support,But he looks toward me i think for support,We both tried to pretant none of this was happening to my mom,I guess we were in denile,Of course until she beinging to look like death,My parents who have been rasing my brothers son [My brother is also a herion addict ] since he was 2.well someone repoted my mom for using and social sevice took my nephew and put him in foster home since my mom had drugs in her system my father did not want her to go in to the court room,but i went with him.They put him in foster home because my mom the accused was not there to defend her self,My father beg for them to give him to me,but thet couldnt until the next court date.* days later  we went to court and i bought him home.In the mean time my parents were to be investigated for drugs,My mom hid it very well to.At this time I had to relize that my mom had a herion problem,and now all of us are going down with her in her addiction.Still for 2 and a half months she still used,I thought her losing her grandson would be her rock bottom,But it wasnst,Until she gave her friend a ride home and on that ride the friend overdosed,the cops towed her car and said if this women dies,u will be an assery to murder,Thank god the women didnot die,but i think that was my moms rock bottom.She has been clean since.I talked to my father about how he should support her while she was withdrawing from herion,he said herion,I thought she was on pills.So my father is coping with her addiction now as well.But before this happend with the women who overdosed I think my father was ready to give up on my mom,I could tell he was getting to the point were he couldnt take anymore.But I thank god for everything because My moms getting better,and my dads being wonderful to my mom and they have my nephew back.But my dads going away on a bussiness trip in 7 more days,he tried to get out of it and they wont let him,Im worried about my mom being alone while he is gone,Im hoping she will stay strong,I will pray.I live an hour away so I cannot be there much to check on her,Also i have a daycare so i cant just leave anytime.I hope she will be ok.....Thanks for listening