I am 56 years old and have been on methadone since it was
put into a controlled substances act. In the last ten years, I tried to get
off methadone two tim es, each time tak ing at least 1 ½ to 2 years to
reduce the dose--as slow AS 2 mg. a week! Each time when I got down
to 8 or 10 m g., I would start to have problems! W hy? My wife had a
12-year heroin history; she withdrew 2 mg. a week, and now she is
CLEAN. We are on a course of divorce. She must see that I can't
reach her "level" of detox! We’ve been married for 25 years.
HOW COME I NEED THIS METHADONE TO HELP ME IN
MY DAILY LIFE? God knows that I TRIED! Damn those opiates! They
have ruined my life and family--I can't tell you how many times that I've
wanted to DIE! God Bless all those who suffer.
Your wife is the exception rather than the rule. Opioid
addiction has been proven to be a brain chemistry problem, and most
people WILL NOT be able to withdraw and remain off opioids. Your wife
figures that since she did it, you should be able to also. However, 80-
90% of those who try to withdraw will return to active addiction within a
year--this includes people like yourself who are highly motivated to
withdraw.
Unfortunately, your brain chemistry may have been altered to
the point that you will never produce the endogenous opioids that normal
people do.
You are not weak willed; you have a brain chemistry
problem. We cannot stress this enough. When you quit taking
methadone, your symptoms return, as happens with 80 - 90% of
methadone patients. For the other 10 - 20%, m any of them will take
other drugs or alcohol to relieve the symptoms.
Your wife needs to realize you are an individual, and your body
may react differently than hers. And you need to increase your dose to
where you feel comfortable. We would hope that she would be open
minded enough to properly educate herself about opiate addiction and
methadone treatment, before reaching the erroneous conclusion that you
are not truly “in recovery�?because you are still on methadone
and that you could detox off of
methadone and remain opioid free if you really wanted to.
Your wife should realize that methadone
treatment has helped you live a functional
life without using illicit drugs.
By the way, we hate the term "clean." It
implies that anyone taking a medication is
"dirty." If you were taking insulin to control
the symptoms of diabetes, no one would
refer to you as "dirty". Don't fall into that
trap. Methadone is a life-saving medication
that seems to have helped you for 20 years.
The medication does the job it is supposed
to do--control the symptoms of your
disease.
Source:
http://www.methadonetoday.org/A9N6.pdf