Bernie the Bull
The Southern Rhodesian Stud Bull Was the name Fred gave to him That mountain of blubber from Africa With an outlook so simple and dim
He had been used to the ways of a master Which never ‘cut the mustard�?with us So while he roared and raved to the boss We turned our backs on his cuss
For a man not so old he had the fitness Of an Amazon sloth half asleep So while he fixed a display in the window Through the grease bay door we did peep
Two forty-four gallon drums and a plank Was the platform for him to stand But the way he climbed up to get there Gave us all a laugh that was grand
The next step down was a twelve gallon drum The third a four gallon tin And on the floor was a block of wood To climb up there he did begin
He roared at me to take the drum from the boot Of his oil company representative car The boss said carry on with your job, Bill You are not the lackey of this lazy African Czar
At a place down the road called Church Corner A butcher boy was primed to meet the Bull So he palmed in his hand some mince meet And the hand of the Bull he squeezed full
Bernard the Bull never liked it But the butchers all thought it was great That this parasite from Rhodesian pastures Had at last met a superior mate.
Mark Thrice
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