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Workshop Ideas : Palace Part 4
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 Message 2 of 2 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameQyzida  in response to Message 1Sent: 2/14/2008 9:10 PM

But what about the words we say (or write)? Do they also impact our emotional state?

You bet! Before we say a word such as "depression" or "delightful" we must first internalize it to get its full meaning.

Stated differently, we must think a word before we say it and by thinking it we internalize (experience) it in a mini way.

This does not mean, however, that the mere utterance of the word "depression" causes us to tailspin into a major funk. Not so.

What DOES happen, however, is that the repeated use of a word (such as depression)

causes repeated mini experiences of that word and those repeated mini experiences serve to condition us in the direction suggested by the word.

It is the HABITUAL use of given words that move us in the direction of those words.

Show me someone, for example, who consistently uses the word "stress"

and I'll show you someone who usually experiences stress over even a minor incident.

They condition themselves to feel stressed even when the incident involved might only call for a simple "Oh well" and a releasing breath (or a few taps).

There are countless instances of this.

Someone, for example, who habitually uses the word "furious" to describe an angry state (even a mild one)

conditions their system to experience fury even if the event calls for nothing more than an annoyed reaction.

Show me someone who habitually says things like, "That makes me furious," or "I was furious about that"

and I will show you someone who frequently flies off the handle regardless of the severity of the incident.

On the other hand, show me someone who habitually portrays anger as, "That's annoying," or "I was annoyed about that"

and I'll show you someone who is likely to be mild mannered and who rarely loses their cool, even over potentially intense issues.

We need to watch our words, especially those we use habitually.

They tend to condition our emotional system and take us in directions.

As you may know, I love the word "awesome."

I use it in an uplifting, even humorous vein. I also like passionate, energized, elegant and delightful.

Magickal is a good word too. So are first class, vibrant and marvelous.

What do you think would happen to our ongoing emotional states if we purposely changed our vocabulary

and replaced words like terrible, awful, afraid, exhausted, drained, etc. with more uplifting choices?

Would we start to condition our emotional system in a more positive direction?

Absolutely!  Wouldn't such vocabulary shifts serve as mini-affirmations and move you in more useful directions?

Many people are caught in what I call an "emo-word loop" where their negative emotional state and their negative vocabulary reinforce each other.

Their negative state causes negative words which, in turn, reinforce the negative state which, in turn, causes more negative words, etc.

This loop will continue in its negative ways, of course, until it is interrupted.

EFT can certainly interrupt it but so can the purposeful use of more empowering words. So why not use both?

We can certainly dig beneath the negative fears, traumas, guilt, etc. that contribute to the loop

and use EFT to transform them into more useful "outside the loop" cognitions.

This is likely to bring about a more vibrant emotional level as well as a more elegant supporting vocabulary.

In the process, however, it would be so easy to consciously replace our negative words with more energetic choices.

This can only escalate the process of healing and elevate us to more inspiring places in our lives.

Changing one's habitual vocabulary, however, does not always mean to substitute an unrealistically positive word for a negative emotion.

For example, saying "I'm vibrant" to describe a feeling of depression doesn't quite cut it.

It's a cumbersome, illogical substitution of words. But using words like "I'm a little down" or "I'm about to turn the corner"

bring about much less negative punch than "I'm depressed!"

They serve to "take the edge off" an otherwise intensely negative word. Here are some more examples for taking the edge off.

I'm sure you can expand on this list yourself. Instead of : say

  • I can't   say  (I don't know how)
  • My problem   say  (my challenge)
  • I'm stressed   say  (I could use a little peace right now)
  • Breaking a habit   say  (dissolving the need)
  • I'm anxious   say  (I need to redirect my energy)
  • I'm exhausted   say  (I need to refuel)
  • I failed   say  (I stubbed my toe this time)
  • I'm lonely  say   (It's quiet time right now)
  • I'm lost   say  (I'm looking for my next level)
  • I'm nervous   say  (I'm alert)
  • I'm overwhelmed   say  (I'm ready for new perspective)
  • I've been rejected   say  (I'm given new input)
  • Cold calling   say   (rapport practice)
  • Closing a sale   say(  welcoming someone aboard)
  • I hate   say  (I prefer something else)
  • It's terrible   say  (it needs improvement)
  • Diet   say  (developing new tastes)

The words we use are obvious echoes of the writing on our walls.

Therefore, once we get the hang of listening to other people's words, we can read their walls with relative ease.

I'm forever hearing other people's words as an aid to helping them grow.

It's not a good idea, however, to spit someone's words back at them without first informing them of the "why" behind your doing so.

It's a sure way to lose rapport. However, I find that artfully informing people of the power of their own words usually results in acceptance and understanding.

Many of them take to the idea quite readily and willingly choose better words.

The real trick, however, is listening to our own words and hearing our own stuff.

When we get good at that, we have made a major leap forward.