Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me that it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion ... 'If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds.'

Willing to try anything, I stand in front of the mirror, fetch a piece of toilet paper and rub it between my breasts.  'How long will this take?' I ask.

'They will grow larger over a period of years' my husband replies.

I stop.  'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day, will make my breasts larger over the years?'

Without missing a breath he says, 'Worked for your arse didn't it?'

He's still alive and, with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again, although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw. 
 
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