As much pain as you've inflicted
and as much as I've suffered
It's you who really suffers because
you se ethat you have failed
You did all you could to make me
give up, and take my own life
To feel so terrified that I thought
you were the devil himself
While its true that you left my heart
& body battered I still survived
I can see the flickering of a candles
hope, that just wouldn't go out
You will no longer make me feel
I deserved the abuse you gave
Or that I was nothing but dirt under
your feet, someone to walk on
I will heal, I will learn to trust again
I will learn to give and accept love
I know that it just pisses you off to
think for a moment that I'm happy
Making you nothing in time but a sad
memory of what I thought I saw in you
I have grown stronger, wiser and in
time, no one will be able to hurt me
I have friends who have suffered also
but they made it through the darkness
You will never make me wake up in
the middle of the night, trembling
When I meet someone new, my walls
won't be so tall they will be kept out
Nor so thick that I won't hear their
knock upon my hearts door
Over time what they share will replace
each bad memory with a good one
I am moving on, letting go of what traps
me in a world of loneliness
I am deserving of another's love I know
I am walking towards the light
Insecure, nervous and vulnerable because
I have hid in the shadows for so long
© 2004 Raymond Cook (All rights reserved)