Kim you said you have ADHD. Can you tell me how you feel, inside? What is your world like living with this? from your place , tell me . I need to know so badly how to deal with this child. My Son Toby was ADD only time he would show signs of HD was after candy, he always ran. I mean run, from the day he started walking , it was a run. He will still do it if he don't think about it/ But he had problems in school with any other kid with problem being ADD. Trouble sleeping / or just getting to sleep. He can sleep thur anything, it just hard to get asleep. Albert is the same way. With Albert, I am sure alot of his problems are from sleeping with his Grandmother til DSS told her to stop it( he was already 10) Now that he is @ our house. We have taken the night light away, he broke it, so we wouldn't replace it , ( street lights shine in the windows).We have change alot of his problems by refusing to give into babying him. He is 10, old enough to clean his room , keep his shoes picked up/. remember to bursh his teeth , comb his hair. Old enough to remember he has homework to do.

My Son Toby never was this much trouble/ I love Albert but sometimes ( lord forgive me) I like to slap the shit out of him. I know that sounds like I want to hurt him , not really, but again, he drives me nuts. I know it is alot to do with grandmother letting him talk back, not teaching him it is wrong to always question when you ask them to do something. I hate being told, I do it tomorrow grrrrrrrrrrrr! I deal with this every morning. I just like to know , how a person with ADHD feels inside about things.  Sharon

Sharon we will start with whats in my head first.For me to concentrate is hard I have to really work at it.I am not forgetful i  am very easily side tracked.I  need  to be challneged but then it depends one what it is.

Now had Toby been diagnoised yet .yes slapping the shit of them is a daily feeling, out of frustration.

You  must be short and repetitive  in request and with ADD/ADHD its a daily reminder sometimes its a mintue reminder to stay on task.I gather that his other gramma let him do as he pleased and coddled him.

I didn't do much of it with Jef and i am sorry for that but with Alex we have have doen a lot more .it will take time.I would make him a chores list on it I would have daily,weekly and when asked chores.I have foudn that especially with adhd kids if they have a refrenece to go to   its easier and they know what as exected.to rattle off a list of things to be  done they just can't rememember.there are a millllion things flying around in our heads and its not that we don't want to  do good its just so hard to keep it all staright.

In my house we do cause "I said" we don't do tomorrow it was asked today.Many ADHD ppl have low self esteem due to expection or in school being  labled and labled is the worst thing there is  to do to a child.Jeff felt that caus ehe was I Needed to  kiss his behind and if I diodn't let teh world reevolve around him and his wants and needs well SS was calle din with one exagerated tale  after  another.Until 3 yrs ago I took back my home and my lifeenough is enough.I don't beat my kids but lord knows some days it was an entertaining thought.I do spank  its over the knee with my hand.I will not  be yapped back to .I am adhd and did not do that with my mom or elders so why should  my kids do that with me.I could do it so can they and Alex now after almost 6 months of no Jeff is a different kid.yeah we still have times we argue(argueing is alex control button).

But the biggest thing is feeling loved and safe.being calm an d repeating yourself till your blue in teh face goes a long way LOL.its harder for kids to day cause of the label they get at school and  it changes how ppl treat them.We need to teach them  how  to do regardless of what the disorder is .He needs you  to make sure he does his home work every night an din time it will becoem habit same as teh rooma nd teeth.We forget that we taught our children from a young age for this to be habit and with adhd kids you have to continuely reinforce it.

We do want to  please but its so hard and if theer is a self esteem issue then its a longer road.Alex sees a physicatric nurse  for counsleing and thankfully she she believes that parents have rights as does my social worker.Hence Jeff packing up and leaving he coudl not get Bev to make me do what he wanted LOL.

As a child and a mom of adhd ,I love my kids but some days it hard to like to them.I do believe and I do tell them as well they need to do this stuff to  live in the real world.No one will love them as much as I do and my job is to prepare them to live in a world of assholes.

The biggets thing we feel is overwhelmed about all the thinsg we have to do.

I hope that helps I tried rela hard to stay on task LOL

Kim

I want to THANK YOU both for your replies/ I just feel so helpless with sometimes dealing with this kid. Alot of my problems with Albert is the having to go to court every darn month........I so damn sick of it. My husband went from WalMarts manager in Fayetteville NC making darn good money, to pulling boxes on a line to be slipped , to no job, Food stamps, NO JOBS to be found, back to assist manager @ Advance Auto( hope this will be over soon so he can go on to being manager there) Lost 3 jobs with all this court crap. Yes it is worth everything we have to go thur to keep him , I just so tired of the problems right now. Albert does real good til & I hate to say it over & over again but "" he has to see the grandmother"" He acts like he don't care if he see her or not.  I just wish there was away to get inside his mind so I cna understand what he is really feeling or not feeling..
 Alot of the stuff I read about ADHD , Albert just doesn't seem to have but more like he know how to get his way. ( how can I write this so you know what I am talking about?) ok I tell you like it happen , how we have come to believe that Albert is working everyone with the ADHD....

 He goes to mental health , talks with counciler, tells them what he is wanting us to let him do, ( change home work time, when he goes to bed, more money for doing things around the house) & this  stupid counciler is telling us to change this or do it this way. Like we are the kids here! But Albert thinks that what every the counciler & he comes up with , we have to do! it like She makes us do it in his eyes. Al ( husband) is so mad over this, (we have went along with this til now) he is going to tell her , to get to his problems that has brough him to this point in needing to see a counciler ,( problems he has had way before he came to live with us) or we are going to change doctors.
 I guess the hardest thing with all this is the control the grandmother had over him & her not wanting to let go. It is a fight everytime we see each other. I have got to the point afew weeks back I wouldn't take him to see her, or to the doctors or anything. Husband had to do it. I just feel like I need sometime away from all this.  Thank yall . I will be back from time to time & talk with yall about this. & give you a up date with all this. Yall please don't think I am being mean to Albert, I am not. I love him , but I need to get away from this awhile. ( this has been going on for 9 months now)

Sharon I  do understand more then you relaize,been there done that with the   parents doingas teh child wants.I will  email you later today.I have some instuff to share and someinfo that may help you and Al .Hang in gal it  will get better.

Kim